Has social media affected your views on marriage and motherhood?

SianOiseau · 2023-09-25T17:49:31+00:00

They added to the views I've already had, but they weren't the major contributors to my decisions and views.

I'm from a single mother household and I didn't have good male role models growing up, so I didn't plan to get married. Seeing my older cousins dating and then marrying good men and then meeting my husband has changed my view on marriage. I still think it isn't necessary and I don't see much point in striving for marriage just for the marriage itself, but with the right person it can be a good decision.

I started seriously doubting whether I want to have kids or not after I was living with my cousin and helping her with her newborn for a few months. It looked like hell, so for a few years I was strongly on the "nope" side. But I guess the horror has washed away a bit and I have seen how great my husband is with kids, so I've changed my decision here. We still don't have any kids, but if/when they time is right, we'll probably try for one or two.

So my views on marriage and kids are pretty mellow, but I've been reading and hearing some horror stories from women about both these things for years now. What helps not to become extreme is to have a great husband and the opposite examples in my immediate social circle.

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2023-09-25T17:53:00+00:00

I think it's good to have content that shows the good and bad parts of parenting/marriage. Yes, the happy, well-edited videos and pictures of a perfect toddler are cute and all, and I'm sure that those kids were as adorable irl as they were in the video/picture but I also appreciate the videos of other toddlers being absolute little hellspawn, because that's also part of the whole ''having kids'' package. It's good to see all the cool romantic dates and trips happy couples post, it's also good to see disagreements, frustration, and compromises, because those are also part of the ''relationship'' package.

My views haven't really changed, but I have learned about the many weird struggles of parenting that I hadn't thought about before.

Loud_Definition6669 · 2023-09-25T17:55:06+00:00

As much as I don't want it to, I believe that online information, social media or otherwise has affected me as a parent. Personally I don't think it's contributed to any resentment in my marriage, but I could absolutely see this as the case for others.

Fit_Kiwi9703 · 2023-09-25T18:13:33+00:00

I had a traumatic childhood with a single mother. Social media opened my eyes to the reality that many young women experienced similar trauma, and share similar fears surrounding motherhood. However, I'm in a wonderful long-term relationship so I work on overcoming these fears.

Discussing motherhood on such a global scale is unprecedented and a double-edged sword. Back in the day, women could only discuss these fears with immediate family members and in small women's groups. Some worked through these fears alone.

Today, on social media, her views are either confirmed or rejected by a global audience, which allows her to make decisions based on a wider consensus. At the end of the day, whether or not a woman chooses to work through these fears is up to her.

Elliejq88 · 2023-09-25T20:44:09+00:00

Social media has been so good for my marriage.

The sh** people write about their partners makes me so thankful I have my husband. He is not perfect but he is nowhere near as bad as many of the men and new fathers I see being written about.

It also confirms I did the right thing for motherhood by being picky and waiting for the right man and waiting to be financially stable (more mature/age and more money are the biggest reasons I have done very well with motherhood)...

chalkandapples · 2023-09-25T18:00:47+00:00

Probably a little bit, but the vast majority of how I think about marriage and motherhood comes from my personal experience with observing my own mother / grandmothers, other people's mothers / grandmothers etc.

penndelnj · 2023-09-25T19:31:39+00:00

Yeah. I know that I need to save $$$ for daycare, now that I know how much it costs.

thetruthishere_ · 2023-09-25T23:38:16+00:00

Just reinforced what I already knew.

I didnt want kids nor cared to get married.

MistyMaisel · 2023-09-25T18:09:26+00:00

At most they added datapoints to opinions I already had from watching my mother, my grandmothers, my aunts, and all the other married and motherhood women I know.

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blebbyroo · 2023-09-25T21:26:32+00:00

No it just prepared me fir the realities and made me determined to wait for the right person. As a teenager I thought I wanted to be a young mom like 18-19 pregnant but the more you see how hard it is and expensive you kind of realise idolising a cute baby is not at all how it actually is.

I’m glad I waited till I was a bit older (a whole decade older than 18-19) and now I feel I have better patience with my toddler when there are tantrums or fits it doesn’t phase me and I respond calmly with empathy and love. If I was 18-19 and sleep deprived I w doubt I could respond the same way. And I’m sure I would feel resentment and fomo of things other young people get to do like party, university , live alone, travel, start a career etc. I got to do all of that, and then get married and then have a baby.

oneblackcoffeeplease · 2023-09-26T09:21:38+00:00

Oh yeah, i always felt women lied about pregnancy and childbirth (i could never grasp how birth can be a great event, that you instantly forget the pain you had during birth and that everything bounces back to normal like it was befor 100%)...now i know many of them just flat out lie(d).

Mothers who talk about regretting their children was a bit suprising for me at first, but thinking about it more it makes tons of sense when thinking back about my own childhood and how some childhood friends have been treated by their parents

Didnt have any delusions about marriage tho, saw enough people in bad but also in great marriages to know that its very individual for every couple

Title	Has social media affected your views on marriage and motherhood?
Author	ThrowRAsweeter
Upvotes	1
Comments	13
Date	September 25, 2023 12:11 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/16rd67w/has_social_media_affected_your_views_on_marriage/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/has-social-media-affected-your-views-on-marriage.1232925 https://theredarchive.com/post/1232925

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