Why do fathers react so differently to the idea of their daughters dating?

OkHoliday8798 · 2023-12-20T23:45:25+00:00

Men are inherently tainted or “dirty” while women are inherently pure like an unblemished like a sheet of snow. A woman becoming sexually involved with a man is equivalent to running a white dress through the mud or cow manure. While a man getting involved with a woman is like being dirty and taking a nice bath. No one knows this more than men themselves. Disclaimer: these aren’t necessarily my personal beliefs but observations I’ve come realize from men and society.

Expensive-Tea455 · 2023-12-21T05:04:51+00:00

Men themselves perpetrate the phenomenon that they collectively suck, but get mad when women do it lol🤣🤣 men will high five their sons for getting a date or even having sex but will have an actual aneurysm if they find out their daughter is going on a date or is sexually active… it shows that men themselves look down on other men… very telling 🌝

Safinated · 2023-12-21T15:26:44+00:00

Because men actually do know what male sexuality is about, especially for women, despite all their protests to the contrary

And it’s not flattering

festival-papi · 2023-12-20T23:58:45+00:00

Playing Devil's Advocate, I can see a perspective where man's protectiveness over his child increase when his daughter begins to date while decreasing as his son begins to date for several reasons but one of the largest ones being a fear of her being taken advantage of but at the time, parents tend to react differently to things like pregnancy for example. A daughter gets pregnant and the parents wonder where they went wrong with her, whereas their son gets some girl pregnant and his parents are telling him that it's time to get a job.

I'll say tho, that if I had both a daughter and a son, I'd probably be noticeably more concerned about her dating life since I know that as a young woman alone, she's at a heightened risk for several bad experiences that can get bad.

Early_Inspector988 · 2023-12-21T08:11:18+00:00

Because men remember what they were like and how they treated women, and think all men treat women as badly as they do. But it only really matters when the woman is "theirs".

RorschachRosettes · 2023-12-21T02:17:58+00:00

It's because most men will only acknowledge and downright admit that men are dangerous towards women until they prove they're not, and that the majority are straight up garbage to date because they only want sex, but only once they have a daughter.

It's easy to complain about women's standards when you're the loser that doesn't meet them.

When you have a daughter, you don't want her getting knocked up by someone's loser son who doesn't meet your standards for her.

As men get older and they have their own daughters, one thing becomes abundantly clear - men's standards for other men are significantly higher than women's standards for men.

A while ago, someone made a post in another subreddit because the woman he was dating broke up with him after learning he was below the poverty line. I mentioned that she made the right decision, she's at an age where starting a family with the next man she dates is something to be considered and you need to take a man's resources into consideration.

One guy crawled up my ass with this sob story of how he was a 19 year old stoner when he first knocked up his now-wife, but now he's some six figure earner with his own business. I went through his history and found a comment where he talked about putting his 19 year old daughter on an IUD.

They tell on themselves.

Junior_Ad_3086 · 2023-12-20T23:30:52+00:00

because boys don't get manipulated and coerced into sex. men know how teenage boys are, regardless if they're a good guy themselves or not.

ConanTheCybrarian · 2023-12-21T14:39:51+00:00

fathers are typically Men.

Men typically know how men think about dating, sex, and women.

Therefore fathers know how their daughters' dates are likely to think about and treat them.

harmonica2 · 2023-12-20T23:32:49+00:00

One of Rollo Tomassi's videos (can't find it right now), he interviewed a guy that said if he had a daughter he would tell her to get married as early as she could, but he would tell his son to just keep playing the field.

It seems contradictory and a huge parenting double standard to me.

OtPayOkerSmay · 2023-12-21T00:42:16+00:00

I think most men understand that the young men that will be pursuing their daughter will mostly be turds, and the ones she will be attracted to are probably even bigger turds.

BackToTheMoon_ · 2023-12-21T01:23:31+00:00

Well OP

Back in the old days, fathers had to be very mindful of their daughters or else they could run off with some guy to never be seen again

Men will always protect women closest to them

Different_Cress7369 · 2023-12-21T07:06:57+00:00

Because they know what them and their mates were like with other men’s daughters at the same age, and they don’t want that happening to their little princess.

ZeeMark17 · 2023-12-21T07:15:25+00:00

Here's the gist of it. Women get fucked, while the man does the fucking. That's it.

Look at the gay community, people sometimes jokingly ask "so who is the one who does the fucking?" Same thing with lesbians, people sometimes jokingly ask "so who wears the strap-on?"

This is why fathers do not like the idea of their daughters having a boyfriend. But once a woman reaches a certain age, fathers care less about these things because they want her to have a family of her own.

caboosenoob · 2023-12-21T03:00:54+00:00

Because there are outcomes that are both much more common and much worse from a girl getting with the wrong guy than from a guy getting with the wrong girl

Beyond the obvious like violence (and murder), guys are just more likely in general to engage in undesirable behavior: e.g. substance abuse is much more common amongst men than women.

Then there's the emotional manipulators who will try to use them for sex and dump them once they get what they want. The equivalent danger to guys is trying to use a guy for his money, but young guys don't tend to have much money. And hell, this is less and less common every day either way as the earnings disparity disappears between men and women.

TL;DR: There is a long left tail of terrible men even if there's still a lot of good dudes out there (and I think women know this too), so I'm not sure why men shouldn't be vetted more closely.

Love-Is-Selfish · 2023-12-21T03:10:37+00:00

The underlying reason is that men have the advantage in sex, so it’s easier for them to take advantage of women. Some men have an irrational, puritan view of sex as well.

bigtoasterwaffle · 2023-12-21T05:51:17+00:00

It's not so much the gender of your kid that's the problem, it's who they're fucking. If his daughter was scissoring with Susie and his son was getting pounded out by Paul, we both know which one would be the bigger "problem"

Men/penis are inherently dirty and corrupting

Sillysheila · 2023-12-21T10:31:19+00:00

I dunno. I think part of it is just that fathers worry about their daughters because women can be vulnerable in dating situations particularly in a way men are not.

I also think much of it is cultural though.

Some American fathers, like the ones in the video, with much more conservative views generally are more likely to be condescending or extremely overprotective towards daughters dating.

My dad grew up in Sweden where everyone tries their hardest to be super gender neutral about these matters, and generally as long as I wasn’t doing anything extremely stupid, he was a gentle and permissive dad. Not really a strict one at all I’d say. Growing up I never heard anything from him about not being able to date boys, or him telling me I should never have sex until I’m 30. That just wasn’t a thing in my household growing up.

In Sweden you just don’t say that stuff to your daughters. Everyone just kind of accepts teenage girls and young women want to date or have sex. So that’s how I was raised even though I’m Australian 🤷‍♀️my dad was excited to meet my boyfriend (now husband) and wasn’t upset at all when I finally got one.

Atreiyu · 2023-12-21T13:08:57+00:00

Any father overly paranoid about their daughter dating is outing either himself, his past, who he associated with, or his beliefs towards male-female dynamics.

shrimp_dicks · 2023-12-21T14:48:47+00:00

Moms cockblock their sons too.

stopwiththebans3 · 2023-12-21T15:47:00+00:00

It’s definitely fear. And also some use it as an opportunity to puff their chest and act tough with the whole “if you hurt my daughter I will kill you 😡” which I mean I guess they are probably serious but also.. is just an awkward thing to parade.

HighestTierMaslow · 2023-12-21T05:15:28+00:00

They know how bad men are, even the ones that constantly whine how bad women are do this when they have daughters. And they do it more to their daughters than sons...this is one of the reasons why I have not ever believed a man who said men have more to lose in relationships.

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Purple_Unicorn_23 · 2023-12-21T08:57:25+00:00

It's because fathers know how how boys and men are in general; Sexually driven - Which causes them, at one point or another, to act carelessly, recklessly, egotistically, selfish, self-serving, self-centered, cruel, unusual, and mean to get what they want.

Fathers know how they, their male friends, relatives, and acquaintances have treated girls and women in the past/currently; And they don't want those horror stories to befall their own daughters.

Fathers get angry at the idea of another male mistreating their daughter because they are possessively protective of things they consider to be 'theirs' and because they feel like they could have done something to prevent the other males bad actions (such as talking to them/leading them by good example/teach their daughters of the minds of males, other), but they didn't, or did not do so properly.

So the fathers blame themselves (and to make amends to their daughters, for their actions, or lack of, they may attack the daughters abusive partner - To preserve her honor).

I feel the anger also comes from a place of current men being angry that it isn't already ingrained in the minds of boys and men that girls and women are to be treated with respect - That they, and past men, have failed girls and women as a whole, and can only blame themselves for their lack of action and affirmative action.

It's not that the father/husbands are bad people that they worry - But it's because they can't control the other males actions and words, and can only tell and guide their daughters so much; The rest is left up to the couple themselves as individuals to work out.

Willow-girl · 2023-12-21T12:15:42+00:00

I think fathers obviously know what men are like, and no one wants to see his daughter used for sex, and/or impregnated and abandoned.

abaxeron · 2023-12-21T13:00:00+00:00

Why do fathers react so differently to the idea of their daughters dating?

Because women who believe this form their opinion of men through popular tv shows and silly staged tiktok videos carefully crafted to generate clicks.

Most men born after year 1960 understand that no matter how hard you try, you can't outparent 10 years of state-managed education. We've had a thread basically yesterday (now deleted) where woman OP celebrated sex ed classes teaching girls how to get abortive remedies without their parents' knowledge.

DumbWordsmith · 2023-12-21T13:55:15+00:00

I think it's also that they know young women are often drawn to (or easily influenced by) guys of questionable character.

I remember my dad telling me he was glad he had a son for that reason.

DietTyrone · 2023-12-21T14:53:28+00:00

Easy. Because who do you think they're running to first if they get knocked up by a bum to raise that bum's kid? Dad.

Hoopy223 · 2023-12-21T16:27:39+00:00

It can go both ways.

They’re paranoid she’s going to get knocked up by some goof and then grandma and grandpa will have to raise the child while she’s at school for a teaching degree or whatever. It’s also expected that a father will flex his authority over a situation involving his kids.

Once they figure out the guy is a good guy it’s usually different. They were girls I dated in college where after we broke up I still hung out with their dad every now and then because we got along well. We would go fishing or something.

PrecisionHat · 2023-12-21T16:46:29+00:00

The old addage: With a son, you just have to worry about one guy's dick. With a daughter, you have to worry about every guy's dick.

It's funny, though. I think things are changing as our society becomes more and more gynocentric. I have two sons and I worry about their futures in a society where everyone believes women even when they lie, where women constantly are advantaged and men are further relegated into the roles of ally or enemy.

Peter5930 · 2023-12-21T17:04:32+00:00

The fathers who worry about this are the ones who were bastards when they were young and dating and assume that their daughters will date men like them, and they're probably right.

SonOfHicesias · 2023-12-22T08:55:19+00:00

If most men were good partners fathers wouldn’t be so worried about the possibility of their daughters dating.

Most men aren't, in fact most men are reprobates and I'm amazed at how short women sell themselves. I'll likely never have children, but if I had a daughter I'd hope I could teach her to be more discerning.

DoinIt989 · 2023-12-24T15:59:46+00:00

Many of them have incest tendencies. Some mothers do this with their son's too, but it tends to be more subtle like emotional manipulation rather than direct threats like fathers do to their daughters' boyfriends.

boom-wham-slam · 2023-12-21T09:16:26+00:00

Because most men have beta characteristics that are nurtured through poor long term relationships (whipped dad) and this gives them a desire to be cuckolded. So they purposely raise their daughters in a way that they put on an act to be a tough guy macho but in the most ineffective cartoonish style that has the result of doing the exact opposite they claim.

It's these dads "my shotgun will make sure you treat my daughter right" are the girls that end up pregnant at 15 or sleeping with the football team.

Or they just ignore everything, same attitude, "you don't date boys. You're 19 but you're a good girl and don't mess with men. Ok call me if you won't be home tonight" like where the fuck would she be staying all night if she doesn't come home? And ofc she's dating and interested in men. Smh.

Why would any NORMAL healthy father want to deny reality or scare away a proper man from dating his daughter? The alternative is she sneaks around, can't risk a proper dinner date, just time for a quickie in a dirty closet. But this is why I say it's some low key cuckold nonsense because I'm assuming this is what the fathers want. They don't want them to find a decent man, they want them to find a man that says "fuck your dad let's fuck in this closet like sneak style" and that's what happens. I don't fully get the motivation but to me it's some sort of fantasy of their daughters sexual empowerment played out because they ofc don't want their wife to bang 20 dudes but the daughter ok fine that works. It just seems sick.

Why wouldn't they say hey you like the smith's son? Have him come over, I won't even threaten him with a shotgun. Smh. Then the father can actually help with real guidance instead of play like a pretend alpha who is really not one. In the video specifically, why is he so against just saying "yes, someday you will have a husband and you won't live here anymore but with him and have children of your own"? Does he not want that for his daughter? So freaking weird.

This is all my personal experiences. It's always the girls I wanted to date proper who said their parents don't let them date or their dad is an asshole if they bring anyone over, so instead they sneak and come over for sex. Etc.

RealMenEatPussy · 2023-12-20T23:25:06+00:00

It literally doesn’t matter how good the man is, he’s still plowing his daughter’s butthole at the end of the day. It’s as simple as that. It only gets worse from there if it’s not a good man, it never gets better.

Careful_Medium9456 · 2023-12-21T00:37:19+00:00

Men do not experience gender based violence or femicide. Men are not victims of the patriarchy and sexualization in society. Men are not consigned to domestic roles by their partners and have their lives diminished at the hands of the other gender.

Pajama_Strangler · 2023-12-21T01:31:49+00:00

As a man I never understood this. As long as her partner isn’t a fuckhead I personally don’t care.

Buildinsilence · 2023-12-21T03:21:55+00:00

Because a little girls innocence is precious to us and anyone who threatens it is to be destroyed on sight with psychopathic aggression

Look up a video of any dad defending his daughters innocence in any way, there’s nothing on the planet that will get psychopathic aggression faster than threatening his daughters innocence

With a son, it’s different, because innocence is a hindrance to him becoming a fully developed man

He can’t be innocent and naive if he’s to be useful to the world

It’s better that he gets his experience early, so he can mature faster and thus be more competent in the real world

Female innocence and purity protects her from the harsher and more ugly realities of the world that men, especially her father, are supposed to handle for her

It also protects her from bad decisions that will make her life harder later on, like becoming a single mother, being in abusive relationships, etc.

You don’t realize this because you’re so accustomed to life in these modern countries but in less modern countries, being a single mother basically means you have a 50/50 chance of having to be a prostitute to survive at some point and that’s probably how it’s been for most of history

Any good father who cares about how his daughters life turns out will protect her innocence for as long as possible

DarayRaven · 2023-12-20T23:37:57+00:00

I'm not worried, in fact l know my daughter is gonna have guys interested in her from HS, like l was with many girls

However if a guy is serious about her then he better have the guts of at least meeting me

As for my son, l could care less about his dating affairs since his a guy, so he'll just figure things out like l did

Turbulent-Tonight975 · 2023-12-21T02:59:32+00:00

I think it is that men see dating from the perspective of the red pill when it comes to their daughters a lot of the framework is accurate. Men over 30 have seen enough of the women they have known in their lives and can see that the women who got married prior to that age are generally more well adjusted and happier compred to the women who were still single at 32-35 still trying to find a husband when her dating value keeps slipping.

This is why I can tell that most blue pill guys don't actualy believe the shit they claim with women who are highly permiscuous who rack up body counts and develope a psychological mindset that makes functional monogamy very difficult.

This is why dads tell their daughters to not date scumbags and avoid the hookup culture. Dads want their daughters to be emotionally secure and find a good man in her early 20s and marry him after a couple years. I'm over 30 and that is what I would tell my future daughter based on what I have seen with women in my cohort first hand.

wheartv · 2023-12-25T17:47:00+00:00

Because they know the type of sexual thoughts and actions many men have

Even if not abusive, during sex even a vanilla guy will be thinking things like “I’m going to use this tight wet hole up” even if they don’t say it

This sort of dominant-submissive dynamic is the norm

Men don’t like thinking of this happening to their special daughter

SsRapier · 2023-12-21T01:16:17+00:00

Because i dont like the idea of my possible daughter having sex, its not degrading but its the same feeling as catching your parents having sex as a kid. It feels bad

Dertross · 2023-12-21T11:00:31+00:00

Probably the financial burden. Men a socialized to be independent with no entitlement to assistance. If your son knocks a woman up, he can get a job or be a deadbeat. Either way, his responsibility not yours. But our society has socialized that a single mothers problem is everyones problem, so there's pressure to financially assist your daughter if she gets pregnant. You'd be seen as a bad person if you tell your daughter to get lost and you're not providing any assistance for her child. It's an entirely different dynamic.

Aromatic_Ad5473 · 2023-12-21T17:18:37+00:00

My brother-in-law has two sons, his neighbour has a daughter. His neighbour has always talked about how he’s lucky to raising a daughter because they’re easier than sons. Then my brother-in-law said to him “I only need to worry about two penises, you need to worry about all of them”

AceOfSpadesGymBro3 · 2023-12-21T00:36:21+00:00

Father tell their daughters "Don't trust boys, they will tell you anything just to get into your pants", but moms never tell their sons "don't trust girls, they are viscous and will do anything to serve their own interests including backstabbing their best friend over a guy".

Double standards? You bet!

thedarkracer · 2023-12-21T00:24:15+00:00

Fathers worry about getting their daughters mistreated that's all. Women aren't as stoic as men are and are more easy to break emotionally. Also women lose their status the more they have sex which they worry will be degrading their brain.

AnalSexIsTheBest34 · 2023-12-21T07:53:44+00:00

There are several reasons:

1) Maidens are seen as more nubile than promiscuous women, who are stigmatised by the society, have very damaged marriage prospects and bring shame to their families

2) Fathers know that heterosex is inherently a man sexually humiliating and degrading a woman and can't bear the thought of their daughter going through that

3) Fathers perceive their daughters as extensions of themselves and since heterosex is often perceived as a conquest and domination of a woman by a man, fathers may feel humiliated that another man is conquering and dominating their daughter.

Eastern-Action1384 · 2023-12-21T08:22:09+00:00

When yout son gets married you are getting someone new in the family, but if your daughter gets married you are giving her away to a family you don't know much about.

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John_Oakman · 2023-12-21T02:41:51+00:00

The flip side of the question is, would the nominal male parental figure who aren't that paranoid about their daughter's dating life be considered fathers, much less good fathers?

Uglypostwall · 2023-12-21T03:00:05+00:00

It is just biology even kid hates mom dating more than dad dating.

AntiHypergamist · 2023-12-21T05:19:37+00:00

Because jealous dads want to baby their daughters and treat them like children until they're 25+

FutureBannedAccount2 · 2023-12-21T05:38:34+00:00

I think this has less to do with her going away with a boy and more to do with knowing one day she won’t be a little girl.

MattPayneWrestler · 2023-12-21T06:39:46+00:00

Cause rape exists

RedPill115 · 2023-12-21T07:12:33+00:00

The father is sharing emotions with his daughter, playing, talking, etc.

On anything that gets near the topic of sex he viscerally reacts negatively - he doesn't want to share emotions on subjects of sex or romance with his daughter.

It seems like men have a fear of their daughters not getting treated well or just a fear of something

I think here we run into the issue that we evolved to live in tribes, the fathers brain is probably trained to default to the negative. "Boys = bad". If she was older and there was interest between her and a boy the father knew and respected and liked he might start showing some level of optimism towards that.

But that probably won't happen in modern society where he has no meaningful interactions with teenage boys like he would if they were in like, hunting parties with spears and bows, etc.

Freddsreddit · 2023-12-21T15:09:53+00:00

Simple, always view any social situation from a prehistoric neanderthal behaviour point of view and you find the answer

Sons impregnating other daughters meaning youre spreading your gene pool. Dad would be proud.

Daughters getting impregnated means your family now has to take care of a potential losers kid.

mods_have_small_ween · 2023-12-21T19:44:42+00:00

Because men know how men think, and women do not. They are incredibly naive.

SnooMarzipans6929 · 2023-12-22T06:35:03+00:00

Nah my dad was chill. I feel very blessed for that.

Title	Why do fathers react so differently to the idea of their daughters dating?
Author	ThrowRAsweeter
Upvotes	51
Comments	282
Date	December 20, 2023 11:22 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/18n8bdm/why_do_fathers_react_so_differently_to_the_idea/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-do-fathers-react-so-differently-to-the-idea-of.1241254 https://theredarchive.com/post/1241254

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