If people are only attracted to people they cannot lock down, is it a sign of lack of self respect, likely?

There is the debate on here that has gone on, about how women are only attracted to guys that all the other women want, and thus a lot of those guys don't want to commit because they are getting all the women, and want to have their cake and eat it too since the universe allows it for those guys.

But there is also the debate here, where women say that guys are losing out because they have too high of standards that need to be lowered as well.

But let's say a woman or a man's standards are so high that they are only attracted to people that are not interested in committing to them.

Does this likely mean the person has a self-respect problem, and they are only attracted to people who do not respect or like them enough for a relationship? Perhaps it's a deep rooted psychological flaw a lot of people have to only be attracted to those that do not want them for a relationship?