After a recent successful date who was a self-identified sapiosexual and who responded to me in a predictable way based on certain behavior, I think I have enough of a sample size (yes it is many more than 1) to make an educated guess regarding the real attraction driver here.

tl;dr

  • sapiosexuals more or less just like to be fucked with mentally
  • has nothing to do with necessarily your IQ

Slight detour but important reminder

First, let it be known that from the very first as a man you need to immediately and outright reject any woman's attempt to frame herself as initially assessing you on anything that is meaningful or asserting that she needs "more" than the superficial.

For example, a recent bumble match opened up the conversation with how handsome I am. I personally tend to be minorly put off by these openers. Why is that? The Chadfishing proves how great they are, right? Wrong. As usual the MO is to request the meet up within a few messages max. So then she states that she requires time and that she looks forward to doing so sometime. Then she compliments my looks again. Now we know that this is bullshit. Sometimes, when I already know I'm going to unmatch someone, I will start pushing them.

Here, I just said "ah, I'm so beautiful that you can more or less wait to meet me. Nice."

As expected she trots out the "it takes more than good looks, things like [forgot whatever intangible traits she mentioned]..."

My response, "mmmm, but does it though? are you really a walking IQ, personality, psychometric, and virtue assessment battery? or are you a sneaky pete trying to become the magistrate I never knew I wanted until she assumed her place on the bench?"

She replies "lol so what if I reject you I'm judging (doesn't even make sense in response to what I said). I bet most girls fall for your arguments (insecure). It's going to take more than that. (I like to make twats jump through unnecessary hoops) Hahaha I like you, you're just my type. (this IS HOW U PUSH N PULL LADIEZ N GENTLEMENZ)"

Unmatch.

So, with that in mind regarding what we should avoid from women when we date, let's talk about sapiosexuality.

The obvious news it that so-called sapiosexuality has no correlation to objective IQ:

By contrast, objective intelligence failed to correlate with sapiosexuality (r = − 0.02, p = 0.765; BF01 = 12.84)

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0160289617301551

Any guy with common sense can tell you this: brute force IQ demonstrations turn women off. It makes them feel stupid and powerless and that you're some jerk who doesn't even care about anything she think and [negative shit keeps going, I'm sure commenters will chime in about how it's not the IQ it's some other negative quality, or that no, it's not IQ, it's people thinking they're too smart blah blah blah --- they're wrong the intimidation factor is real and it's the wrong kind that's why it's bad].

Simple experiments to run on bad ways to demonstrate smarts:

1) If she says something flesh out the entire universe of it. "Ya I like x." "Oh ya x is great, especially a, b, and c. What's interesting about c, is that both x and y share c, but y is generally disliked, even though the main thing people like about x is c hahahahah!" [dry panties]

2) Disagree with her and be unerringly correct. "Ya the problem with y is that z is a better authority on c I think." "That's interesting, because z's entire viewpoint just builds on their general acceptance of y's main thesis. Z has developed it in a certain niche direction that y never covered, but z's focus is pretty narrow compared to y so it's hard to view him as a better overall authority on topic c." [dry panties].

As far as I've explored and observed --- no women enjoy that shit.

What do they enjoy?

Being seen in new ways. Being caught red-handed in one way or another. Knowing that they aren't judged for ....anything.

That's where the attraction comes in and what I do believe women mean when they say they enjoy sapiosexuality.

It's a playful type of intellectual dominance. Requires some mix of cognitive empathy, observation, and a sort of playfulness

The subtextual roleplay is that you're like a cop and she's a criminal, and you're more or less just giving out citations for rule infractions. Seems to go like gangbusters especially for this type and overall be a fairly effective way to use intelligence.

Example of this, as follows:

The date said she rarely ever drinks. very attractive 28 blonde blue eyed future soccer mom corp. of America, type. Seems conservative, but mostly in a "when I'm asked for my opinion" sort of way. Mentioned on her profile that intelligence is what she really finds sexy in a man. hohkay...

I show up she shows up, there's no real sign that my appearance is having any effect on her in the first several minutes of small talk. she I ask what she wants, she asks what I usually drink, I say beer. She talks about how she can't find a cocktail and that she likes flavored shots and asks if me and her can do a shot. I oblige. Then for whatever reason I just have this flash of inspiration -- sometimes you see the whole game ahead of time -- and instead get her a shot and chaser and myself a beer. I just knew that if she supposedly rarely drinks or at least was all about being consistent with that, she'd be irrationally annoyed by me altering this request.

So she casually asks why I got a beer, and I said 'oh you know, just decided. they didnt' have any shots i liked.'

we interact and talk. she brings up again. i casually brush it off. a little time goes by. she brings it up again this time more pointed as in 'and here i am having a shot and you're drinking a beer..."

I lean back and say "you know, are you okay about that? you've brought it up a few times."

she blinks. "uh, I was just joking."

"3 times huh?? are you practicing material for your show or something?"

her mood completely darkens "listen, you're being really weird. like let it go already. you're so awkward." B+ performance tbh. Without experience I could easily see someone being seriously shut down by how annoyed she looked.

"yeah. pointing out the shit you've done and said, is super awkward. I agree."

complete reversal, authentic laughter. then she recovers pretty fast, "no, you're just one of these people who can't let something go. let it go, just be in the moment."

"here i am, on the scene with you, talking a lot about this thing, that....I'm ....not letting go of."

By now there's a lot of sub-communicating happening and she's laughing...

"...you know, uh...cheer up, this is a rare thing for you,"

and then she almost exasperatedly hits me on the shoulder and gestures "I know so why are you only drinking a beer!"

"Ohhhh, I get joke....now that you told the fucking punchline...."

She's really liking it, "you are SO MEAN TO ME! That's MEAN!"

...

Needless to say the date ended up very successfully. We'll see how this situation plays out over the holidays etc.

Anyway, she definitely likes this aspect of our interactions and it FOR SURE turns her on. It's not intelligence at all. It's more or less fuckwithery. Just playful, creative ways to call her out for stuff.

At this point after having repeatedly taking this kind of approach over the last few years since I started running into so-called sapiosexuals, this is what I believe sapiosexuals get hot for. And circling back to the original bumble match, she more or less seemed to get more excited when I started calling her out for shit. It was less subtle, which explained her quick scrambled defensiveness.

The unfortunate reality here is that while there are a few situations where the woman in question was very attractive like this one, making it plausible that it's a viable short-term, near zero acquaintance attraction builder...because their desirability more or less could have negated my appearance....with the other women, this probably was not the case, and you know, I have no way of knowing. So this is unfortunately just supported by anecdotes.

Any other experiences to confirm or disconfirm?

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