The time has come...

Plebe-Uchiha · 2024-01-09T00:17:07+00:00

Document everything concerning childcare. Document that you are the one doing 90% of the child care.

Call up lawyers and vet them well. File for divorce and ask for full custody of the kids. Give her visitation rights.

Fight for more than what you want.

In the meantime, while prepping, be kind to your soon-to-be-ex-wife. Be kind, patient, polite, and accommodating. It’s better to hopefully resolve this in mediation. If you can’t the more documents you have that you are the primary care giver, the better. That’s what you should focus on. Money comes and goes but time with your kids is finite. Fight for sole physical custody, maybe even sole legal custody.

Do NOT be bitter. Be better than how she acts. Rooting for you man [+]

highandtight · 2024-01-08T17:51:19+00:00

I’ve been in and out of a similar situation over the years, except my wife isn’t a high earner.

I am an attorney and can govern maybe some insight but you haven’t said much about the reason for the split. One view: disillusionment and disinterest is pretty normal at this age and stage of life. You guys are both grinding away at successful careers and have a house full of young kids. You live in the city and life can be very hard in that scenario. I hate MC but might recommend you try that and a few other things. No matter how well you fare in a divorce, avoiding divorce is going to almost always be the better outcome for the family.

Everyonelookatme1 · 2024-01-08T17:19:18+00:00

You think she has a bed guy? An office boyfriend?

pk2at · 2024-01-08T16:59:15+00:00

The $5M is just below the threshold I would recommend for a trust. However given future payout and iffy IPO evaluations, it should be easy to keep most of the $5M through simple non disclosure. If available in your state, I would suggest looking into legal separation where asset disclosure is not required.

Coming to your LLC, it again seems to be a great way to get favorable financial settlement for you PROVIDED you don't shoot yourself in the foot by voluntarily disclosing it as worth anything more than $0.

I would first consult an asset protection professional vs. a lawyer who is more interested in getting max $$ on the table. It has been repeatedly observed that men screw up in step1 of the divorce process (i.e. disclosure) and then try to save money through pointless negotiations.

Depending on the state you reside in, don't be overconfident that your presumed wealth of $6M will carry you through. There are already signs of weakness when you say want to 'be there for the kids' and 'she is an excellent mother'. It is often seen that women who are very amicable during the first stages of divorce suddenly turn hostile after meeting lawyers and friends and go after every child and every penny you have.

Do not ever underestimate the feminist family court system you will be up against

bluephotoshop · 2024-01-08T14:27:41+00:00

Another thing: move any weapons (firearms, knives, numchucks,etc) out of the house.

redtcontent · 2024-01-08T13:22:17+00:00

I'm generally against pre-emptive divorces for vague things like "communication problems" but there are many red flags here. Starting with the whole power couple dynamic with the career woman wife. Your concerns are extremely legitimate.

Document, document, document your childcare and involvement. You say 90% and that may be true but as far as the court is concerned the only thing that's true is what you can prove. Take selfies with the kids every single day and with every single activity you do with them every single day. Keep a detailed diary. Don't let this turn into some he-said she-said swearing contest.

upvotersfortruth · 2024-01-08T08:50:32+00:00

Your head is in the right place. Time to move toward strategic behavior.
Build your case as primary caregiver.
Get a tough as nails, financially literate divorce lawyer. Male or female depends on who you think she’ll react “better” to - stern old man or bitch. Take your time and get consults with 5 or 6 of the top lawyers in your county or metro area. I’d keep going until you bump into a conflict of interest so you can confirm that she’s already talked to a lawyer.
Modify your behaviors to: (a) protect yourself from any nastiness she may toss your way; and (b) to lock in your chances at strong parental rights.
Change all your passwords and collect important documents like passports and stuff.
Prepare. Plan. Execute. And if she beats you to the punch, at least you’ll have your counter at the ready.

keencone · 2024-01-08T08:24:01+00:00

Control what you can on the material/asset equation via shrewd strategy and robust legal representation.
Handle it like you would any other aspect of business and don’t let ANY sentiment dictate your strategy.

At the same time, ya gotta realize and seriously-onboard that NONE of that shit matters to your precious-children now or ever… they just want their Dad to be present, fun, masculine, and healthy!
It’s the greatest gift you could ever give them.

New-Amoeba9042 · 2024-01-08T07:42:54+00:00

Yes, with your level of assets, it’s probably more than we can adequately prepare you for financial. But, means you can afford a good lawyer, which is key.

As for getting custody, the fact you both work helps. Frequently, the wife is a SAHM, so the kids basically default to her, and the Husband literally gives more of his money to her than he gets to keep.

The house you can keep, depends on what she agrees. Typically will require a buy out, and if you want custody, owning the house helps as it’s consistent life for kids.

Emotional side maybe some advice, but it’s not normal we have a man here pulling the trigger, so imagine it hits differently

yknotalpha · 2024-01-08T07:35:32+00:00

hey.. looks like you have money..

Why don't you hire a good lawyer and consult; don't wait till shit hits the fan.. prepare now

Title	The time has come...
Author	dogturdcannon2
Upvotes	18
Comments	26
Date	January 8, 2024 7:06 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/191f87k/the_time_has_come/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/the-time-has-come.1242486 https://theredarchive.com/post/1242486

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