life is cruel

Papi_Lazlo · 2022-06-16T12:12:55+00:00

2 ways this can go.

TLDR: Ask her when she's free for the date or schedule a new idea. If she can't make the time for you then move on.

She's genuinely busy. You can reschedule with her a specific time and place to meet along with short details about the fun thing you're doing together.

e.g. Hey we should go to the (insert fun date idea) this Saturday. Let's meet at 6pm under the big clock at (place). How does this sound to you?

She says she's busy or can't meet up no matter what other date ideas you propose. Or you get ignored.

This most likely means she's not interested and is not willing to put the time or effort into a date with you because she would rather be doing other things in her life.

Don't keep messaging or ask her out on more dates. Just reply and give the same energy in texts.

Meanwhile you should be focusing on other things in your life, even if that means getting a date with someone else you feel a good connection with.

cocoadusted · 2022-06-16T13:34:43+00:00

Be less needy. Match her time in taking to respond if not longer. Less stuff in the text. Using texting only to set time and place save the real conversations for in person

ozzzy83 · 2022-06-16T12:52:25+00:00

First what I notice is that you invested way more than her, aka her texts were shorter, and yours were longer and longer, which appears as too eager, and bad. Second, you didn't lead, you were asking too much is this fine, or this, etc.

Girls don't want to decide, you decide, and say when. Nothing to do with waiting, you just screwed up what I mentioned, thus appearing weak. If she was actually busy but interested, there would be a counteroffer, but yeah, just a blow-off.

When she asked will you take her out while using that flirty emoji, you should've teased her instead to raise her interest, and not be just bland and boring, neutral, indecisive, lol. Lead, tease, flirt, and do not text more than her!

poly_nerdy_panda · 2022-06-16T15:21:15+00:00

Bro your text way to long, keep it short and simple.. if not fucken call her.. every guy is texting her but no one is calling trust me it makes you stand out

SnooPets1514 · 2022-06-16T13:11:00+00:00

Oh mate, this is a tough one. Plenty of interest, but just goes cold...

It's always best to strike whilst the iron is hot and the interaction is at an emotional *high*-point. I think you would've reduced your chances for flaking if you had booked in the date when she said the patio sounds nice.

Having said that, don't beat yourself up. If she was actually interested, she'd come with. Most likely, you're competing against lots of other men and she's dating someone else instead that day (hence, not giving you detail on what she's actually doing).

There's a few options you can go with here. I wouldn't have said 'no worries, let me know' because you're letting her off the hook and plus I don't think she will be letting you know.

I'd of either:

Doubled-down and gone hail-mary and called it out. 'Something tells me you have another date otherwise you'd be transparent about what you're doing?'
Ignored it.

I think anything along the lines of 'why are you now not interested' is obviously beggy, but showing you have emotional awareness and making her a bit uncomfortable demonstrates you have bollocks.

daisy_belle1313 · 2022-06-16T12:14:44+00:00

Honey, I think that could be a catfisher. Hang in there and don't lose hope.

SocialReject101 · 2022-06-16T11:52:59+00:00

You were obviously too late. It was like lighting a match and you let it burn out before putting it in tinder. You should have given time and location before going into radio silent mode for several hours. She has a smorgasbord of dudes lined up , some of them probably set up dates while you were doing what you were doing.

ResponsibilityKey427 · 2022-06-16T13:59:26+00:00

You didn’t do anything wrong.

She probably matched with someone else, that’s the nature of the game.

daddysgotanew · 2022-06-16T15:34:14+00:00

Any woman who is about a 4 in looks or better has a smorgasbord of cock to choose from. She found a better one than yours, or at least she thinks she did. End of story, move on…

daivaras24 · 2022-06-16T13:03:44+00:00

she falked because, she was scared that you will cancel/flake. Always get a yes for the Date and then text on the day of the date Locatication and Time. But it is a thin line to walk on too early and you are needy too late and she will cancel.

mootymango · 2022-06-16T11:53:02+00:00

That’s messed up

copiumtrafficker · 2022-06-16T11:53:18+00:00

I would start with assuming the best case scenario, that she is actually busy on that day. Things change constantly and it is easy to be the thing bumped for another event or set of plans as the guy from Bumble.

I’d give it a couple days and try and schedule again for the following weekend/whenever you’re free next.

Downside is that if she flakes again then whatever potential relationship isn’t worth the hassle of trying to chase down plans. Plus side is that she’s actually busy that day and is still interested in going out.

I would not put the ball in her court for scheduling a date. I wouldn’t put the ball in anyone’s court except my own. If you want something you should be the one to pursue it, if it doesn’t work out then it doesn’t work out but at least you have the answer.

sexsex69420irl · 2022-06-16T12:56:15+00:00

You will have a much better time if you stop analysing everything,who gives a fuck what went wrong,move on and talk to someone else.If men are dime a dozen,so are women.

Osiris_Raphious · 2022-06-16T16:52:41+00:00

she is busy, she has plans, she made plans with people that she knows not some guy chatting her up, You got too invested, you dont even know where she wants to go, you didnt ask. you just suggested to go to some spots you go to. Could mean anything from sex to relationship talk.

There is a line between flirting to get laid, and friendship, and relationship talk. Problem is that you met on bumble and thus you are a stranger. She probably found someone better to take her out and show her a good time. Internet and apps have ruined people. Women if they want to get validated or taken out, can easily do that, its their market. Dont act too needy, actually try to figure out the person a little first, then take her out. Who knows what her situation is, if you dont know, and you chatted to her for a week, and couldn't figure out where she wanted to go, or would like to do.

Just saying, what is your intent? what is hers?

I suggest next time get to know them a little, what they like, who they are, etc, then suggest a place/event that might they might like. Clearly its not easy but clearly she was flirty and you were too kind. Never be afraid to just let them go. Its online dating, apps, some people just brows never committing to a buy.

If you are looking for relationship, talk to them first, then figure out if you even want to keep talking to them irl, where it could lead to sex, but if you want a relationship connection means more than sex. Sex is the bonus.

Nefertiti2021 · 2022-06-16T17:41:12+00:00

You talk so much. You only need to make a date

Aerial_penguin · 2022-06-16T20:18:36+00:00

Very last text might have screwed yourself on that

paddywacknack · 2022-06-17T02:04:50+00:00

Yea, its also beautiful.

djangountamed13 · 2022-06-17T02:08:51+00:00

What's the problem? She just cancelled for this weekend. Try for another time. Expect 1 or 2 rounds of deferrals before taking a woman out. It's a form of shit testing. They're testing how serious you are/persistence.

RedCardOrder · 2022-06-17T08:13:19+00:00

Y’all over analyze everything man. Just keep it pushing, you did nothing wrong.

Marcoscondit · 2022-06-17T21:54:06+00:00

She’s not interested , when she is she’ll go out her way to meet up. Here’s an example the other day I started talking to this new girl at work, got her number later we texted. I asked her out she asked when was I not busy and I said idk I have too look at the schedule then she sends it to me saying oh you have Thursday and Friday off we can do it then. If that girl is activist she’ll suggest another time

Title	life is cruel
Author	WeedSmeller585
Upvotes	13
Comments	42
Date	June 16, 2022 11:43 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/vdk2b0/life_is_cruel/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/life-is-cruel.1256914 https://theredarchive.com/post/1256914

Comments