You can assume that if you were to just be, not try to act confident, or act smooth, that it’ll be acceptable and desirable social behavior. What do you have to lose by assuming that? Fear of rejection? Embarrassment? If those fears come true, how will that effect you?

Whenever you’re afraid of rejection, you’re projecting. You’re rejecting yourself. Embracing and loving yourself truly allows you to stop projecting your needs onto others and give without hoping for anything in return. When you love yourself, you project that love onto others; when you reject yourself, you project that rejection onto others. Your thoughts will become reality every time, and at that point, a rejection won’t reduce the inherent dignity you have in your own eyes.

How freeing is it to know that you don’t need people to treat you a certain way to be content, at peace, and able to love yourself?

If you were to have had a girlfriend before you loved yourself, you couldn’t love her. You could only love the way she made you feel validated and loved. Only God can fill a hole that big. You have to love yourself and get to the point where if you were locked in a jail cell the rest of your life, you’d at least be in good company.

Stop holding your own love hostage in hopes that it’ll motivate you to accomplish any goal. It’ll only hold you back. First, love yourself independent of all outcomes. Then, gift yourself by trying new things, bubbling that natural warmth onto others, and better outcomes will follow.