I [27M] got a good paying job and suddenly have women show me interest … how to avoid gold diggers?

vonhudgenrod · 2021-07-09T17:17:23+00:00

just dont dish out that $$ like its candy and see if they stick around anyway

lolicopa · 2021-07-09T17:52:41+00:00

How about looking for a woman with her own successful career? She doesn’t necessarily have to make as much as you, but dating someone with their own ambitions and career path could help put some of your concerns to rest.

dawnofdusk000 · 2021-07-09T21:49:17+00:00

I noticed many Asian and Indian girls exclusively dating White (and sometimes Black) men and then marrying a well off Asian guy later

Lol, i am an Indian and read on YouTube comments that they look at white men as a Hollywood gentleman chad kinda guy, better to leave them for Chad's disposal, meet women and look for good values.

Matayoman · 2021-07-10T01:17:23+00:00

Dude. Don’t worry too much and have some fun. The right gal will come along. I had a similar experience, and honestly now at 30(m) gals are trying to lock shit down hard. I’m a homeowner, attractive, wealthy, and learned from all the pain of relationships that I shouldn’t settle and need to find a woman worth a damn.

Have some fun, go on great dates, sleep around if you need to, and enjoy the search for the perfect woman. She is out there, and she can’t wait to meet you.

Go get it brother.

MasterTeacher123 · 2021-07-09T17:19:31+00:00

There’s nothing wrong with smashing these girls just don’t claim them or get them pregnant

gimmeadvice_x · 2021-07-10T00:38:51+00:00

Don’t flaunt your money. Get a decent car and decent clothes, but not bmw or gucci. Live comfortably, but below your means and save money. Don’t tell anybody what you make. Not even your mother. Everybody talks. That’s the most obvious to me.

GEEZUS_956 · 2021-07-10T04:06:57+00:00

You don’t avoid them because there isn’t really many signs of a gold digger unless they’re prideful about it. The only other sign is when you already know them and they start obviously using you for money like tickets to this place or this one piece of jewelry.

Don’t avoid them; get rid of them. Hold your money to your standards and if she gets angry for not sharing, ditch em. I wouldn’t recommend “shit testing” with your money. If you’re fine with it, then allow it. If not, then let her know you can’t or won't.

vonhudgenrod · 2021-07-09T17:27:19+00:00

also, you shouldnt be mad that woman want you more now that you have a good job and have been lifting at the gym. That's just how woman are, its like being mad that men want skinny women with fat asses and titties, its just human nature. Be aware of it and don't be taken for a ride by some broad, but its just the way things are - no need to be mad about it

aneshru · 2021-07-09T17:30:38+00:00

Wow...enjoy it ...choose a good person with good personality and rock on

ContWord2346 · 2021-07-09T22:07:48+00:00

They will test you by trying to get you to buy little things at first. Once you start it’s a slippery slope and you’ll never get the ass or even a date.

Didn’t Christiano Ronaldo get a surrogate to have his child? Many men who are successful in their 20s get temporary vasectomies then reverse when they want to have kids.

Good luck. I’ll pray for you.

Know your worth. If you were raised by a single mom learn game. It’s not an insult but not seeing healthy male female dynamics as a child has destroyed a generation of men.

Edit: find like minded women in your field. But not at your workplace. Been there got that t-shirt and unemployment check.

Own-Salad1974 · 2021-07-10T07:01:12+00:00

How to avoid gold digger? When you take a girl on a first date, take her to do something you like to do, instead of trying to impress her, do your favourite activity together.

2021-07-09T20:26:20+00:00

If money is the only thing attracting women to you then you have a lot of work to do my friend. Raise your standards, only date professional women. Work on style and charisma and learn American humour, you’re from a different culture that you need to adapt to.

As for avoiding gold diggers, it’s easy, don’t flash your cash or your wealth, never use flamboyancy or extravagance to bait women, downplay your financial situation to strangers

PompousSchmuck · 2021-07-09T18:21:11+00:00

I think what changed was your looks and your status, and thats what women find attractive.. Im in a somewhat similar boat - would they care for me if I was a hobo? maybe if I looked like adonis.. I am not tho (although I am by no means ugly or even average..) What is different is that I am somewhat proud, that I make decent pay and am in top shape, pretty well all around and so my confidence is way better, and thats what makes them come to you..

Don't hate them, bask in your newly acquired status.

Interesting-Brief202 · 2021-07-10T03:18:20+00:00

Go to the gym more.

Don't tell girls you make 200k or are a software engineer. Just tell them you do IT work. Problem solved.

scranchel · 2021-07-10T01:59:35+00:00

sad how there are some shitty individuals out there like this who wanna exploit people

AelfredRex · 2021-07-09T20:45:52+00:00

My guess is that the finance guys are all money & status-obsessed jerks, so when you tell them you're an engineer, they sense a better possibility.

MO_drps_knwldg · 2021-07-10T14:27:56+00:00

You’ll see signs:

She wants to go to expensive places rather than a fun hole in the wall
She’s places high value on social media
She’s not ambitious about her own career
She doesn’t offer to help pay for small things here and there
A lot of her questions revolve around wealth or status
She doesn’t seem genuinely interested in learning about you

Just be on alert and don’t get blinded by beauty, which is easier said than done. Best of luck

Asianhippiefarmer · 2021-07-09T20:06:35+00:00

27 Asian male here. I think the hostility you were met came from self internalized racism. It’s common for Asian American girls to date exclusively white in the States. Just don’t let that get to you. They’re missing out on a great catch. xD

That didn’t answer your question but i just wanted to point that out. You should post this on r/AsianMasculinity

omgwhatisleft · 2021-07-10T08:09:53+00:00

$200k in a city like New York hardly seems like gold digging material. You seem oddly focused on your money so maybe you’re giving off that vibe therefore attracting low end gold diggers. You also make such a generalization about Asian girls in such a diverse city like New York where there is people from all walks of life. Maybe you should expand your social circle and stop focusing so much on your money.

Just focus on finding a girl you really like and treating her well. If you chose well and got a great girl then she wouldn’t care about your money and you would love to spend your money to take care of her. Most of the men I know make way more than $200k and not a single one of them are worried their wives or girlfriends are out for their money, in fact, they love spoiling their loved ones. I hope you find that someday.

Good-Tap-9604 · 2021-07-10T05:36:05+00:00

Be as ruthless with your options just like those girls. Only pick the ones that suit your criteria. You seem annoyed how all of a sudden they want you after you started making money, perhaps date someone younger who is inexperienced. Also, another option could be marrying a girl from back home .

GrandRub · 2021-07-10T09:04:22+00:00

dont tell them your job ... be vague. or downplay it a bit. change the subject pretty fast - dont talk "job" - talk about interesting and emotional stuff... its a date and not a job interview... dont position yourself as "reliable and stable chinese guy with a good job"

2021-07-13T02:58:44+00:00

Well if i were to see you walking down the street will I guess you make 200 k a year if yes then u need to change whatever giving people that idea... if you end up marrying a woman who got with u cuz u got money u will be miserable trust me.

badkittenatl · 2021-07-09T22:25:30+00:00

Women wanting to date men with money is the same as men wanting to date women who are pretty. Most women won’t only date you for having money, but you would be stupid to think it doesn’t widen your dating pool and get your foot in the door where you might not have otherwise had the chance. Personally, I am a woman who will not date men who make less than 200K a year, because I know I don’t need to. Doesn’t matter how much I’m attracted to someone physically , it’s still a hard no. It boils down to there being plenty of men who can offer me a nice life, so why date one who couldn’t? I’ve worked hard to obtain 2 degrees and working on a third, why would I date someone who has not been successful or worked equally as hard? You can be mad about it, OR you can relish the opportunity you now have to to widen your dating prospects. If you want to avoid gold diggers go for women with careers. That said, you’re not going to attract many hardcore gold diggers making 200k a year….

hostilefemur · 2021-07-10T00:34:56+00:00

You are a step ahead in-the ladder. Shoot for higher smp value women. Higher to the point money isnt an advantage to you. A woman that makes or has 1million guaranteed is not looking to gold dig you and you will know you are bringing something extra to the table other than money. I dont have that problem though 99% of woman cant gold dig me! So you know its real love!

2021-07-10T06:52:36+00:00

I’ve noticed the ABC and Indian girls trend too. Those are the women to avoid, keep working on yourself bro and watch them hit the wall hard haha. On the flip side, white chicks telling me they only date “brown” men is a huge turnoff. “Umm congrats, you want a medal?” I’m not a piece of meat tf

prtkjnn · 2021-07-09T20:05:00+00:00

How did you manage do that? ( with an accent ) I got a high paying tech job too ( ~ 300k ) too but there is still no sign of girls 🙃

Hazeymane · 2021-07-10T04:20:44+00:00

Best advice, don’t pay for them, meals, drinks or anything else. See if they stay interested or if they loose interest when you aren’t buying them anything‼️‼️

RedLantern- · 2021-07-10T03:07:14+00:00

Dm me for good but non PC advice.

Some posters are roughly on right track

2021-07-10T10:17:25+00:00

As an Indian I can offer you another alternative, date white girls who are not into club life. If you can travel from China to America to better yourself, then I'm sure you can find love in unexpected scenario. The world is big and life is diverse(India is known for diversity). Long story short date outside your race. And be yourself.

With regards to your money either invest or send some back home to your parents.send little by little to avoid tax.(I don't know how the tax system works in china)

OThinkingDungeons · 2021-07-09T18:57:39+00:00

As mentioned, you've done well for yourself and have permission to enjoy yourself. Your success is a part of you and of course women will be attracted to you for it.

This is where you'll need to sit down and write out a shopping list of values you think are important, then work backwards to identify how they'll manifest in a person.

A few ideas I can offer are:

If you ever message/call your date/girlfriend and they tell you they're in an area where you know there's a good food/snack, suggest they try it as it's really good (don't say you want any). A GREAT woman will buy it and bring it to you without you ever asking.
Another sign of a good woman is she'll pick up the bill around half the time, in fact she'll stop you or tell you off (nicely) for paying for everything. Personally it means she's confident in her ability to look after herself and isn't that concerned about being "treated" by you. Women super interested in what you can bring as a caregiver will expect you to pay for everything, especially if they know you're better off.
Something that's nice is when a woman is when they put your wellbeing and needs above the relationship. As in she'll give you good advice that is helpful and understandable. Sometimes they'll give you good advice that's even detrimental to her, or even help you if it inconveniences her.
Something I've heard suggested is: while she's in the kitchen, ask her if she can make you a sandwich. A self-centered woman will tell you to make it yourself or put some spread on some bread with minimal effort. A really good woman will put in some effort and put together something with layers and flavour.
Pay attention when you mention that you're spending time with friends and see if they encourage you or chide you. People in healthy relationships will encourage you to do things you love.
My last few girlfriends would often make food and give it to me without me ever asking <3

mph99999 · 2021-07-09T19:09:27+00:00

What do you want?
You can always lie about your job if you want to avoid gold diggers.
If you want sex you can try to use your job status to get sex but i advise to avoid those women later.

I know your feels, this is the world we live in, make the best out of your cards.

2021-07-09T20:34:29+00:00

Go on walking dates and don't buy her anything.

Cheers.

No_Load_7183 · 2021-07-09T21:44:55+00:00

Hide how much you make and live modestly.

Own_Comfortable_0131 · 2021-07-09T21:08:03+00:00

ACT BROKE

KoozeMang · 2021-07-10T00:41:34+00:00

Let em dig for that gold! That's when ya make em be your bang maid while you cruse for a decent lady who likes you for you. Turn about is fair play my mang!

Disastrous-Spread809 · 2021-07-11T00:06:56+00:00

I wouldn't say all of them are gold diggers. Women want security. An unemployed man is not a turn on. A man that gets off his ars and goes to work, now that's a huge turn on.

AlyssaSeer1445 · 2021-07-31T17:24:41+00:00

date the one who date asian male from the past because if she don't have a history of relationship with any south east asian/east asian in her past dating history when she is 18 or 20's to have a relationship with you it will become toxic and she will turn you into her atm machine without sex on it.

her past relationship to asian male is her history on how she treat a east asian man/south east asian man in a relationship or marriage.

if she don't have any relationship with asian male from his past dating history when she was 18 or 20's just fuck her and leave or don't commit and give her $$$ when she doesn't even experience with any relationship with east asian/south east asian male when she is on her 18 to 20 years old.

what i mean is to avoid gold digger asian female on there 30's all you need is background check them if they have experience on dating asian in there 20's if not then give them experience but don't give them money fuck them and dump them after that.

marry a asian american woman who have experience on dating south east asian/east asian male from there past dating history when there are 18's or 20's this is how you avoid racist asian american woman and self hating woman that become a gold diggers for asian man once they hit 30's

be self awareness of Asian American Woman they are the most self hating and racist woman in the USA or all over america.

if i were you date and marry those poor chinese woman that are in south east asia instead you let them forcing themselve become prostitute to the white old sexpat because of poverty.

AlyssaSeer1445 · 2021-07-31T17:36:04+00:00

Date Younger woman without dating experience and sex life don't gift them if they don't even want to open there legs for you they will just turn your relationship into a sexless atm machine

Outofworkflygirl · 2021-08-16T12:38:19+00:00

I know a guy who is EXTREMELY well off. As in trust fun and inheritance money. He once told me that Wild Gold Diggers can smell money like a shark smells blood in the water. When you have the kind of money thats hard to keep secret, you can NEVER tell who actually gets close to you because they like you and who is doing it because you have money, connections, and nice things.

Unfortunately, there is no tried and true "test." Some guys will try to do weird, and sometimes cruel "tests" like taking her to a wildly expensive dinner and then "forgetting" their wallet to see how she acts. I dont recommend that. Its still a pretty ingrained social norm that men always pay on the first date so judging a womans intentions by whether or not she reaches for her wallet could backfire.

Probably the most surefire way to ensure that the person you ask out isnt a GD, is to become acquainted with women who are already established in their own right. Women that have a sold career, their own place and who arent obviously living well above their means. My friend said he always looks at the girls shoes and handbag. A woman working in an entry level administration job or as a waitress usually cant afford Loubotins or Chanel unless she is up her eyeballs in credit card debt or someone else is buying them for her. To him, a woman who is working a low salary job but can somehow afford expensive designer clothes, expensive hair treatments and extensions, and seems a little TOO familiar with restaurants that are routinely $300 per head is a red flag. Not saying its true for everyone, but in his experience, it is.

He said that the Wild Gold digger will do things like casually glance at the card you use to pay when the bill comes. Whether its a debit or credit card. If its a credit card, its easy to google the type of card to get an idea what kind of salary/credit you have to have to get that card. So, leave the Black card at home and pay with a bank card. They will also ask where you work/ your job title before the first date. All it takes is search on Indeed to find out what a software engineer in your city makes so if they ask, use something a little more broad like "I work in IT." Its not a lie, but "working in IT" can be everything from a peeon network administrator to VP of Communications.

Dont take her out to the most exclusive restaurant in the city for a first date. Suggest something more moderate, like an eclectic cafe or cozy neighborhood restaurant. If you drive a higher end or luxury vehicle, take an uber for the first few dates. And be mindful of what she talks about. If the conversation always seems to come back to money, or hobbies that require a lot of it, or if she starts bringing up her financial woes early on, proceed with caution...she should not be suggesting that the two of you go to a Michelin Star restaurant if she is "flat broke until payday."

All in all, his experience is that Gold Diggers dont dawdle. If the money isnt forthcoming in a couple of dates, they lose interest FAST. If you are on the 3rd date and she isnt pouting when you suggest going to Longhorn instead of Ruths Chris, or passing by a store window and nudging you to buy whats in it, then you can relax and treat her to something a little more special.

Good luck and hang in there. Not all of us girls are grasping social climbers chasing after wallets.

Title	I [27M] got a good paying job and suddenly have women show me interest … how to avoid gold diggers?
Author	Opening-Voiceover
Upvotes	133
Comments	78
Date	July 9, 2021 5:14 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/oh03cp/i_27m_got_a_good_paying_job_and_suddenly_have/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-27m-got-a-good-paying-job-and-suddenly-have.1280786 https://theredarchive.com/post/1280786

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