So I (22M) did my first cold approach ever today! I noticed a cute girl working at a grocery store I shop at and after arming myself with as much Reddit advice and YouTube videos on approaches as I could, I decided to go talk to her when I saw her there today. I went up to her and told her that I had seen her there a few days ago and I thought she was cute so I wanted to come say hi. I’ve never used this basic and straightforward approach before but it worked better than I expected and it was a lot easier and not as awkward as I was thinking the whole thing was going to be.
I was in the store earlier today too and didn’t see her but I talked to a school friend for a bit that worked there and asked him about this girl. He told me she had a boyfriend which made me not want to talk to her, but then I decided I still would just to get a little practice in because I already know the outcome. Whether or not I do everything right or not, I’m not going to get her number, so what is the harm? It felt like I had taken the risk out of it which calmed my nerves about doing it because I was a bit nervous. So I went and did it when I saw her there this evening, not really feeling nervous about doing it because I knew I was already rejected anyway.
The conversation went well and then she brought up that someone (my friend) was talking about me today and mentioned I was doing something cool with school, which she recognized when I told her my name. Then she brought up that my friend had said he told me she had a boyfriend and I laughed a little and said yeahhhh he did but I figured I would come talk to you anyway, which made her laugh a little. Then she mentioned that she actually just got out of a relationship a couple days ago but that she had been wanting to leave it for a while. She brought up her dog as one of the reasons she stayed because she was trying to make sure she could keep it when she left because they had gotten it together, and we talked about dogs for a bit. After that I said that I’d feel a little awkward asking for her number since she just got out of something but I guess I’ll see you around here and then left.
I probably could have done a few things better but I felt really good about it because I left my comfort zone and talked to a pretty girl which used to really scare me! She also didn’t seem to actually reject me which is great, but I could have rejected myself for her by saying what I did at the end. I’m thinking of talking to her again the next time I see her and bringing up something she mentioned she likes to do to get things started. I’m also going to try offering her my number instead and say if she wants to get coffee or hang out sometime then definitely text me. I feel like that is the better way to play it without pressuring her too much since she got out of a relationship recently. If she texts me that will be great but if not that will be okay too!
I just wanted to share my exciting experience with you all and thank you for all of the really helpful advice that is on this board! If anyone has any advice about the situation or how I could move forward please share!
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