When the girl brings up her boyfriend/other guy...

SlowlyPickingUp · 2014-07-03T18:59:42+00:00

If your goal is sex: She stops your move, she's not likely to take it any further. Perhaps she likes the flirting/attention but isn't willing to physically cheat. (if she is willing, she wouldn't have mentioned him). Move on. Also, who wants the drama of potentially dealing with another guy? Not me.

If your goal is a relationship: I'm in the camp of never perusing a girl in a relationship. If she's willing to escalate things with you while she's in a relationship, what makes you think she isn't going to do the same to you eventually if you end up with her? Move on.

In conclusion: move on.

destiny24 · 2014-07-03T20:51:28+00:00

Honestly, move on. Even if you can fuck her still, you don't want to be the "other guy". You don't need to get into all that drama, especially if you are only in it for sex.

raimondi1337 · 2014-07-03T20:26:43+00:00

"Oh I totally want to hear all about your ex, tell my everything!"

ThrowawayPUA · 2014-07-03T20:22:34+00:00

Assume it's a shit test and the boyfriend does not exist. I Have A Boyfriend is the most common little white lie that women tell men to deflect their approaches. It is a way to see if you are easily discouraged, like all the other chumps that fell for it. I have seen plenty of instances when a woman says she has a boyfriend and she really doesn't. I personally don't even believe it when she shows me the alleged boyfriend. Sometimes the so-called boyfriend is just a convenient cockblocker who will play along. Ask the guy how they met. If he hesitates, he's making shit up and he's not her real boyfriend.

And even if the BF exists, you shouldn't necessarily give up. Most quality women are attached to some guy, if they are going to dump BF #1 they already have several candidates for BF#2 lined up. Get ready for her to dump the guy.

Dalkiel · 2014-07-04T00:08:07+00:00

You don't mow another man's lawn. If she brings it up, take a hike

rosickness12 · 2014-07-03T19:56:29+00:00

Move on. Sounds like they are wanting acceptance. They aren't going to fully cheat on their boyfriend but the thought of another man wanting them is what they enjoy. And if she does cheat then run. I knew many, weep weep, girls not woman, who will flirt all the way to the bedroom. Then it stops there. I learn my lesson but see them at an event and they expect me to buy them a drink after more flirting. I never bought them a drink before. Maybe one at most. Run dude. Find a single woman who likes you.

coffeyspoons · 2014-07-03T23:02:34+00:00

You need to clarify pretty much immediately whether this is a monogamous arrangement or an open/poly setup. If it's monogamous, the route forward takes one of two forms.

You get with her anyway, and she does the same thing to you and you've just fucked over her boyfriend which I highly doubt you'd appreciate.

Also, if she wants to see if you'll push it as a 'test', do you REALLY want that sort of girl?

She's giving you the 'thanks but no thanks' signal and you call that one a good attempt.

If it's open or poly, brilliant. That's the problem solved.

Clarify the position of the other guy. Do it in a flirty, non-pushy sort of way but don't be a pansy about it. EG - "oh, so why are you talking to me then?" accompanied by a smile or a raise of the eyebrows if you can pull that off without looking creepy. Ask an unbiased friend about that before trying it out.

joshsway · 2014-07-03T20:37:31+00:00

I would move on. I wrote about this in detail here: https://www.joshsway.com/articles/view/if-she-says-she-has-a-boyfriend-move-on

sedditforthewin · 2014-07-03T23:37:45+00:00

Attractive girls always have a love interest. Do with that knowledge what you will.

It's dying because you cared, just like a shit test, if you flinch you fail.

masterrod · 2014-07-03T18:48:13+00:00

Depends on the girl. There isn't anyway to know. You just have to see how far you can get, before you want to switch to another lady.

It also depends on how she's bringing him up, and the stage in their relationship.

firstthrowaway4321 · 2014-07-04T18:07:34+00:00

"I have a boyfriend." "Wow, you're telling me all of your problems already." Change topics.

dking168 · 2014-07-04T22:30:52+00:00

You say:

Yo, I'm happy for you and I'mma let you finish, but we were talking about (whatever you were talking about before).

2014-07-04T00:45:11+00:00

Doesn't mean shit. I just had a girl last week turn me down for a k close telling me she had a boyfriend. The next night she was riding my cock. Look at the IOIs and everything else about your interaction. You should be able to tell whether she is actually into you or not by her actions regardless of what she says. Then you can choose to be the asshole and pursue or not.

spldsz · 2014-07-03T19:59:23+00:00

advice: assume she actually does have a boyfriend. don't assume it's a 'no'. but, if you're uncomfortable with pursuing things with a woman that has a boyfriend, find someone else. if you're cool with it, see if she's in an open relationship, or willing to cheat, or willing to dump him for you (whatever of those you're comfortable with. personally, i prefer open relationships, and i'm okay (not thrilled) with cheating. wouldn't date anyone that dumped their partner for me).

but yeah, people in an open relationship aren't always up front about it. if "i'm in a relationship" scares you off, they didn't have to out themselves to find out that you're not compatible.

story: couple weeks ago, i was at a music show. talked to this super cute woman with a mohawk. asked (yes, i'm one of those consent-getting types) to kiss her after confirming that she was super cool. she said "yes, but you should know i have a boyfriend". we made out. traded numbers. danced a bit, and made out some more through the rest of the show. she came over a couple days later for morning sex and then a coffee date.

i'm going to see her tomorrow, too. not sure if her bf will be with her or not; didn't ask. but, if he is there, he's probably a cool dude. has good taste in women, at least.

SlowlyPickingUp · 2014-07-04T06:28:28+00:00

There are "I have a boyfriend" and "I have a boyfriend... so lets meet outside and go fuck at yours" kinda girls. After hearing about the other guy, I play it cool and be like "It's okay, don't worry" after that you should try to get things physical as soon as possible (kissing/grinding/hugging) if you can get that going, she doesn't have a bf or is willing to fuck anyway. If you can't get physical, pick a new target.

It is really up to you if you want to fuck taken girls or not. I feel like it is not my problem, and they will cheat with someone else anyway.

Title	When the girl brings up her boyfriend/other guy...
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	47
Comments	44
Date	July 3, 2014 6:43 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/29rg21/when_the_girl_brings_up_her_boyfriendother_guy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/when-the-girl-brings-up-her-boyfriendother-guy.1287061 https://theredarchive.com/post/1287061

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