Out in public, it’s normal to feel anxiety. We’re social. How other people look at us—what they think of us—matters (we let it).

Going to the grocery store to pick up some food, there’s a twinge of anxiety – “am I walking weird right now?”

It’s normal.

While you’re thinking, “am I walking weird right now,” the person you think is judging you is thinking the exact same thing. Both of your mental cameras are turned inward, paying attention only to yourselves and no one else.

The people around you are invisible.

Now to the bar.

“I’m not talking to anyone, people think I’m a loser.” We become hyper-sensitive to everything we’re doing. Every step we make, every motion, every facial expression. Playing Sherlock Holmes with our external appearances.

It's normal. But everyone around you is doing the exact same thing.

The environment where you feel the most exposed—the bar—is the environment where you’re the least exposed. Everyone is so focused on themselves they don’t have time to focus on you.

When was the last time you focused on what a dude was doing at a bar? The only time is when you compare yourself to a group of guys and think, “I may not be talking to anyone but at least I don’t have my arms crossed.” And then you forget about them.

Remember that time you felt like a complete piece of shit at the bar?

No one else does.

You are invisible.