Why "Be Yourself" is the Best Advice

This is a response to TrippAdvice1's "Why 'Be Yourself' is the Worst Advice." (http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/tgw28/why_be_yourself_is_the_worst_advice/)

A response but not a rebuttal. I'd like to talk about the frame set by this point: "the you isn’t good enough right now."

The YOU is good enough. It's more than good enough. In fact, the YOU is so good that should you ever come in real contact with it, you'll find the key to eliminating anxiety. You'll have an abundance of opportunity with women. You’ll find yourself living the life you’ve always wanted to live.

Let me explain.

The "you" that's not good enough is not YOU. It's a construction of your ego. Through how you were raised, what your parents taught you and what you learned in school/life, you've constructed a "you" that is not YOU.

A simple example.

You see a group of girls. Instinctively, your first desire is to approach (even if you're not involved in pickup). It's natural attraction that exists between a man and woman.

But you don't approach.

"They'll think I'm creepy."

“You” (the ego) tell yourself (YOU) that.

It happens ALL the time. So often, most people don't know who they are – all they know is their ego. For many, this ego is the “you.” And since most of us listen to our egos, it gets more difficult to sense what we want to do.

The true desires are still there – they’re just hidden by the ego.

60 Years of Challenge has a theory:

Whether you have a good or bad night is determined by whether you do what you want to do or not.

You're standing in line at a club. The people next to you are talking and YOU want to join in the conversation. If you join in, you get confidence. If you don't join in, you get anxiety.

If you join in, you're BEING YOURSELF. If you don't join in, you're listening to your ego (“If they wanted to talk to you, they’d say something”).

But what if you say something and they don’t respond?

It’s like getting rejected by a girl. Yes, it might sting. But you still feel confidence because you did what you wanted to do, even if it didn’t turn out how you’d like it to.

Experienced PUA’s know a good night doesn’t start until the first rejection.

Now you go up to the bouncer. YOU want to say something to him. If you do, confidence. If you don't, anxiety.

60 says good and bad nights are NOT determined by approaches. They're determined before you walk in the door. They're determined by how often you said “yes” to YOURSELF, or how often you said yes to your “ego self."

A good night is when you “were yourself.”

Important: when most people hear “just be yourself,” they think, “I am being myself – how could I not?” What they don’t realize is there are two “selfs”: the ego construction and the real you.

It is possible to not be yourself and think you are.

When you do what you want (talk to people in line, talk to the bouncer, approach the first girl you see instantly), you build confidence. When you don’t because of the ego, you create anxiety.

You don’t talk to people in line. You may think, “no big deal.” It is. Instead of pushing you towards confidence, you caused anxiety (however small).

You don’t talk to the bouncer. No big deal; except it is. You enter the club already in an anxious state.

Conversely, if you did everything you wanted to do, you’d enter the club already in a confident state.

This is “state control.” This is “frame management.” The secret is BE YOURSELF –knowing what that means is the hard part.

Why do I say you are good enough? Because you are.

When you see a girl, YOU want to approach her immediately. When you see people engaging in a conversation, YOU want to make friends with them.

YOU are capable of doing everything you’ve ever wanted to do. So why don’t you? The ego.

Therefore, it’s not about building a better you. It’s about dissolving the ego construction, allowing you to always BE YOURSELF.

Sure, having hobbies and being healthy is attractive. But don’t YOU want to do those things already? Don’t you know what you’re passionate about? Don’t you know what type of body you want?

Why don’t you listen?

Why are you spending the majority of your life not being yourself? Why does 99% of the world spend their entire lives living in the ego construction? Why are we so afraid of being ourselves?

I’ve struggled with social anxiety. I’ve always been in touch with what I’ve wanted to do – I just haven’t done it. I wanted to call that girl up, wanted to talk to a group of people I thought were interesting… but I didn’t.

Saying no brought me anxiety.

Funnily enough, saying yes to the ego causes anxiety. When you allow the ego to “protect you,” you cause anxiety.

You cannot win when you are your ego construction, so stop playing.

How? Be yourself. Honesty.

The first girl I ever met through cold approach taught me this lesson.

When I hung out with her, I was anxious. Why? Because as we walked down the street, I wanted to hold her hand. I didn’t. When we ate dinner, I wanted to escalate. I didn’t. When we got back to her place, I wanted to fool around. I didn’t bring it up.

The end result? Suffocating anxiety.

The second I left, I was free as a bird. I beat myself up: “why didn’t I just grab her hand?!”

I’d never felt that kind of anxiety before (blame it on inexperience), so I decided to continue hanging out with her. It was an experiment. It got to the point where she recognized I was feeling anxiety whenever we hung out, which prompted the question, “why do you come over here?”

I decided to be honest. I decided to tell her I felt fucking anxious whenever I was over. I always wanted to do things but never did.

And just like that, the anxiety dissolved. It was gone.

Anxiety exists in your head. As soon as you bring anxiety into the real world, it disappears.

Because when you’re honest, you’re being yourself. When you’re being yourself, anxiety cannot exist.

You are good enough.

You have everything you need. It’s time to start doing what you want to do. Say YES to yourself, say NO to your ego. Remember, your ego is not on your side with this issue. If you say yes to your ego, you are rewarded with anxiety.

Just be yourself.