Stop Looking For a Wife: You Won’t Find One

mh1111q · 2010-10-13T20:06:09+00:00

After reading this I ask a female friend if she thought she'd make a good wife. Her answer was, "Well, I've always wanted to be supported."

TrollyMcTrollFag · 2010-10-13T18:11:37+00:00

[permanently deleted]

intjpua · 2010-10-14T00:33:33+00:00

So...He cites Cinderella and Snow White as evidence of this dramatic shift. But, Cinderella and Snow White were stories that both existed decades before the films were made, and spanned numerous cultures and generations.

That's really reaching. There are a number of his premises that I think are ill-informed, but it really started falling apart when the "proof" was so nonsensical. One can find movies made at any point along the timeline (including this decade) where girls behave in mostly traditional ways.

Besides all that, I like post-feminist women. Women who have cool jobs doing worthwhile things, who have their own money, who are interesting to talk to, who will hike/bike/camp/travel with enthusiasm, who don't expect to be taken care of and are appreciative when someone does, and who basically aren't satisfied being "the little woman". I'm totally down with that.

There are certainly problems with the whole marriage industrial complex, and I don't think I'll ever legally marry because of it (though I may partner up and start a family with someone). But, this article is just a lot of bashing and misogyny. I think we need to be careful getting too clinical in our breaking down the battle of the sexes...it's easy to lose sight of mutual goals and become bitter and angry, particularly if you came from being a nerd and not having a lot of luck with girls growing up.

Women are not the problem. Militant feminists might be part of it, but they're a tiny minority of women, in general, and it's unfair to target the whole sex because of the insane actions of a few.

One other random thought: I consider the diamond ring issue to be a defining characteristic. The kind of woman that expects a diamond engagement ring and a big wedding is not the kind of woman I would consider spending my life with. But, this is one where we know exactly where to put the blame: De Beer's invented the diamond ring "tradition" around about the time our grandparents or great-grandparents were hooking up. It's phony. An old scam to sell more boring white rocks produced from the blood of slave miners.

whatalife · 2010-10-13T22:30:46+00:00

Marriage is not over if you find a woman that does not look to societal norms for reassurance but her own mind, confidence, and man.

ymrhawk · 2010-10-13T18:19:14+00:00

Oddly enough I agreed with the first half of the article, but with further reading began to turn against it. I do not believe I am searching for a submissive woman to cook clean and support, but rather a person who challenges me to always improve or seek more out of life.

fabkebab · 2010-10-13T22:17:41+00:00

The article is a bit too long for me to go point by point - so I will give my overall, high level opinion about the article

Laughable.

In spite of this individual experiences, there are happily married people all over the world. I get the impression the article is the consequence of someone watching too many episodes of Bridezillas.

Paul-ish · 2010-10-15T02:58:13+00:00

I was studying in my universities library today. As a group a freshmen girls were complaining about how hard their communications class was one of them talks about how they are "going to marry a doctor, because after all anton (I don't remember his actual name) is so smart." Blech, I hope that guy hits it and quits it before she drags him down.

ihaveabu · 2010-10-13T18:52:26+00:00

wow! that is probably the best explanation of the ridiculous divorce rate in western society.

i used to think it was the concept of if an American woman finds someone better, she'll leave the person she's with. but this makes more sense. holy shit

and also, to those who are saying that he shouldn't be looking for submissiveness and whatnot: it's not that he's looking for submissiveness, willingness to cook/clean. it's that these are things that keep a marriage stable. Marriage is a balance of a lot of different things. If one person is too proud to submit to the other person in certain things, and vice versa, marriages don't last. A marriage councellor did an interview on videojug and she said the most important thing about keeping a happy and stable marriage is SACRIFICE.

http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/peo_div_rat-people-divorce-rate http://www.darndivorce.com/divorce-rates-around-the-world/ lol 54% wow

Also, to account for the 46% of marriages that do last, one thing I've noticed in women is that if she is insecure of her own looks, personality, etc, and she's already in a servicable but mediocre relationship, she'll stay in it even if she found someone better. But the moment she is imbued with confidence and self esteem, she'll go pursue the better man. So with that theory in mind, out of all the women in a population, maybe 30-40% have lower self esteem (low enough for them to settle), that accounts for most of the 46% of stable marriages. The rest might just be the small tiny percentage of women who are actually worth spending the rest of your life with.

lol

And to be fair, men are just as much to blame for the crazy high divorce rate in the US. There are a lot of men who feel that marriage is a social pressure to pursue rather than something he really wants. This probably has something to do with biology as well. I don't know who's fault it is, but there's a good amount of blame to put on both sexes for the lack of marital instability in western countries. Meanwhile, divorce rate in China is around 20% (1985's rates were like 1% lol ) and japan has 1.9%. There's some serious cultural differences in the way men and women are raised there, but that's a huge difference!!!!

pickup_startist · 2010-10-13T15:21:29+00:00

While I knew this all intuitively, from observation over the years, having it spelled out in plain terms was a serious downer.

Anyway I hope I can find a "wife" in the BDSM community maybe eventually. Subs are awesome. But maybe it doesn't work that way.

Thac0 · 2010-10-13T15:52:15+00:00

That dude was too right! How sad.

lookslikespeed · 2010-10-13T22:11:57+00:00

Liked the research.

Liked the insight.

Disliked the conclusions.

philosarapter · 2010-10-14T13:55:08+00:00

I think this article is pretty baseless. Of course a woman doesn't immediately become a "wife" overnight, just as husband doesn't fully integrate into the idea of a "husband" for some time. This is something that takes time to learn. Marriage is essentially cohabitation with the prospect of starting a family. It is a new step in which both parties have alot to learn and each person's results will vary.

Both men and women will have to learn to make sacrifices, balance the checkbook, learn how to change a diaper, raise a child, know when to pitch in, bring home income, etc. There are no written manuals for the exact formula for any specific union, it is rather grown into.

Obviously this type of adaptation requires [in the context of this article] a woman who willing and able to adapt to changing times. It is not so much that she needs to be submissive or a great cook, but rather the ability to communicate with her partner and work with him on deligating responsibilities so their union as a whole stays afloat.

Marriage is the dissolution of yourself for the greater being that results from bond between both of you. The reason western marriages fail is the expectation of individual happiness. People treat marriages as dating, something that they can quit at any time. That is what is destroying the "sanctity of marriage". You are supposed to be swearing to a lifetime together, no matter what. Even if you aren't happy, even if you are miserable. That you both work together to figure out how to make it work.

If she is better at raising kids and cooking, then she takes over those responsibilities, If you are better at chopping wood and making money, then that is your responsbility... the point is you both work in sacrificing yourself for the love you share for each other... even if it means you are miserable. Marriage is not about happiness. The sooner people realize this, the better.

celador · 2010-10-14T01:55:52+00:00

I read this with my girlfriend and she agreed 100%

lordcheesus · 2010-10-14T09:26:00+00:00

What a load of crap. Women are only "proper wives" if they are subservient, and will cook, clean and have a bunch of babies?

While being a housewife is perfectly legitimate and wonderful, saying that only women who are housewives and who do whatever their husbands want can be good wives is disgusting. It's like saying that a man can only be a good husband for me if he buys me whatever I want.

Title	Stop Looking For a Wife: You Won’t Find One
Author	mrmgtow
Upvotes	41
Comments	51
Date	October 13, 2010 3:01 PM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/dqp9b/stop_looking_for_a_wife_you_wont_find_one/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/stop-looking-for-a-wife-you-wont-find-one.1312270 https://theredarchive.com/post/1312270

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