After coaching for coming up to 3 years now I have been in the field with countless students. I have watched some crazy things happen and I have seen lives change. After all my experiences teaching I wanted to compile a list of THE MOST effective advice that I can give to someone who is new to this. When you start learning how women work guys get fired up to go out and conquer this once and for all. Soon after their approach anxiety, fears and lack of experience cause them to read more and try less.

This guide is written from working with some of the hardest cases of approach anxiety I have seen. If you follow it and read it often you will find yourself making unbelievable progress in a very short time. As always please ask me any questions you want either in this thread, PM or email me at [email protected]

1.Make a goal list.

What do you want to accomplish in the next 6 months of your life? Really take some time and write this out. Be specific and as thorough as possible. Once you have a list of goals then write how you are going to accomplish them. A wise man once said, people without a vision perish. Don’t overlook the power of this exercise because you think its some random self help tip. Do this NOW….

*2. Start a Journal. *

A lot of things happen when you are trying to get good with women. You will have successes and you will have failures but a long the way it is very important to write what you are doing. I have kept a journal for 10 years now (granted I don’t post everyday ) and going back through it to see my first months and weeks learning social dynamics is such an awesome experience. No one has to see this journal but make sure you do this. Write about things you experience and questions that you have.

*3. Bring a Cheat Sheet. *

I cannot tell you how many times guys would ask me what to say in a conversation. I started telling them to remember things to talk about and keep a note in this pocket. Another way of doing this is text yourself topics and save them. You can be in a set and pull out your phone and bring up the next piece to talk about. There are no excuses to run out of things to say.

*4. Go Out. *

Seems obvious right? I get emails all the time from guys who will say, “I am struggling with building attraction right now and I know that I should be doing X Y and Z and I am but not getting anywhere.” First question I ask is how many times do you go out? I get an answer like once a month or so. WTF? You have to go out and practice at this if you want to get better. Repetition is the mother of success. I highly recommend you go out 2+ times a week. When you are going out with other people don’t fall into the trap of standing around TALKING ABOUT GIRLS. There are girls right in front of you go talk to them.

I taught fellow lair members from time to time when I was in the local lair and one of the traps they fell into all the time was talking about game. They would be out at night talking about strategies and shit while girls were walking right past them, that is insane! Go out and have a game plan to get out of your comfort zone and have FUN.

5. Get a Wingman.

The qualities of a wingman are as important as the selection of their character. Get a wing who will push you but still value you. Go over wing rules, you can find them on the right hand side of seddit. A good wing will do wonders for you…I have stories, just ask if you want to know more.

6. Take Pictures.

If you go to a club a camera is a must. I spent 4 years as a club promoter and event planner and believe me when I tell you that having a camera is a must! The flash of a camera, the thrill of pictures and the memories of the night will allow you to use the previous success to create future success.

*7. Talk to Everyone. *

When we are small our parents tell us not to talk to strangers. As we get older a lot of us continue to believe that and find it strange when someone talks to us. This is a lesson that you must break. You have to learn to strike up normal, fun conversations if you are ever going to get good with women. Start with store clerks, bouncers, cashiers and workers. Then move on to people in the mall or at social gatherings.

*8. Develop a Personal Style. *

Changing your fashion is the quickest way to get a shot of self esteem. First thing you should do is learn how clothes are supposed to fit. Find a famous person who has a similar body type to you. Learn their style and try things on. Don’t be afraid to ask for advice from gay men and girls. Girls will typically dress you how they want a guy to look so be careful with that. Spend some serious time learning about fashion and create the new you. Life isn’t about finding yourself, it’s about creating yourself. This step alone is amongst the most important ones to take.

9. Create a Routine.

Before you bash away READ THIS…. Remember when you were little and you got your first bike? Your father would put on the training wheels and you would ride around and get use to how the bike worked. There came a day when your father would take off the training wheels and you would ride on your own. Sure you would fall a bit but the training wheels helped you learn balance.

This same principal is true with game. Routines are like training wheels. They are safe and effective in teaching us the way that social interactions go. You can polish them and really start to get a feel for things like calibration and social norms. Once you understand social dynamics you don’t need them anymore.

In the beginning I highly recommend you come up with a routine. It should consist of the following:

*A couple of openers

*3 stories that display value and convey attractive attributes about you

*Questions that build rapport with other people

There are other elements that go into an interaction but if you nail these 3 things the rest will fall into place over time and experience. If you want to know more about any of these please feel free to ask away. I hope you all find value in this.