I can still remember like it was yesterday getting blown out by the first really hot girl I ever approached. It was a humbling experience and one that is etched in my memory. There comes a time in your learning experience when you try to go for quality rather than quantity and the struggles you face are packed with lessons. The following are some observations taken from my personal journal.

1) When You See a Girl You Process Your Value Compared to Hers.

Basically this means that when you see a girl you are sizing her up and then placing a value upon her based in a number of qualities, mainly attributed with appearance. This looks based value system continues until conversation is made and then it scales back a small about but as guys we are still driven by appearances.

For the women they too judge appearance but there are so many other factors that play into attraction for them. Instead of the symmetrical qualities that we as guys look for they are much more concerned with the sub communications and if the guy is taking care of himself. If the guy looks like he took longer to get ready then the woman did then many times they will be turned off. If he looked like he walked out of the forest and hasn’t shaved or showered we all know that, that is a deal breaker as well. The main thing that a woman is looking for upon approach is the subtitle cues WAY MORE then what you are actually saying.

*2) Value is a Filter That Alters Your Perception. *

This aspect is true for guys and for girls, that PERCIEVED value is a filter in which we view the individual. The reason that I capitalized perceived is because perception often times equates with deception. Remember back about 8 years ago when the magic eyes pictures were all the craze? Basically, it was a picture that upon staring at it for sometime you would see a 3d image. At first all you saw was a scrambled picture with nothing in it, but once you finally got it you could see the actual picture inside it. The first perception was that there was nothing there; upon closer inspection we realize that there was something there and we were deceived at first.

Value works just like the 3d image.

3) She is Sizing You Up Based On….

To get the girls of exceptional quality one must be valuable to themselves and display value in a way that is congruent with who they are. What I mean by this is since girls respond to value the way we respond to a beautiful girl in a mini-skirt, we must display value in a way that is congruent with whom we are. When I say that women respond to value I mean that they judge your relative worth and importance based on factors like confidence, your ability to create fun, your personality and how you make her feel. These things are some of the attributes of value. There are other factors like, your style, your attitude and your body language that play pivotal roles as well but value is the entire package that you put together.

*4) Women Think More Long Term When it Comes to Value. *

Women tend to think about where this will go and what could happen down the road. To display the value that most exceptional girls look for, (and again most 10s are not your average run of the mill club rat, these are the girls who have looks, brains and ambition) you must project your value in a long term setting. Being goal driven in your career and life is something that these rare types of girls will truly be attracted to. This displays a mastery over your sense of self. What this sub communicates about you is that you have a vision for the future and she could share in the fruition of that vision, this excites and stimulates her from a stability perspective. Women tend to pair bond and want relationships so displaying the characteristics that support that is an attractive thing to them.

5) The Method Behind the Madness

I know that in this community we tend to have a chip on our shoulder that closing women makes you better at this game and in some ways, “cooler” among your peers. The truth of the matter is I work as a dating coach, have worked with many people across the world, worked with major pick up companies and through all that I STILL fail. What makes me succeed where others give up is my passion not to wrack up the most lays but to leave women better then I found them. This principal of giving value is ironically something that goes against the grain of much of the mainstream community ideology. We are taught to neg (lower a woman’s value) we are taught to DHV (demonstrate higher value) and all in attempts to finally get her home and have sex. Sure we all want to have sex but the irony is that the more you make a girl feel that she has value beyond replication she is instinctively drawn to you as a moth is drawn to a flame.

To get the really quality women takes the right combination of value and elusiveness. You must stay just out of her range NOT out of her league. At the end of the day getting that quality girl is much more about who you believe you are and what you are displaying. It’s also about value, both giving and receiving it rather then negs, backhanded compliments or displaying HIGHER value.