~ archived since 2018 ~

Very fast Attraction Building technique

[deleted]

July 17, 2011

91 upvotes

/r/seduction

Hi Seddit,

Was gaming last night and found this technique/banter that works well for me. Just wanted to share it here.

At some point after you've hooked or have gotten iois, stare directly into her eyes and say "OMG Wow, your pupils are so dilated! Look at my eyes" -- hold eye contact for 5-10 seconds. I find that this amps up attraction like no other. Maybe throw in "Wow, your pupils are getting more and more dilated by the second." Sometimes, I throw in some humor too "Did you take ecstasy or something?" Or you can segue into a k-close if the attraction amps up fast enough.

Finally, set the frame with: "Psychology studies say that your pupils dilate when you're interested in the person you're looking at...you're such a forward person" etc etc...

Anyway, that's the technique that I've been using all of last night. I'd like to experiment with escalating kino, like pulling her chin in, or placing my hand around her back. Thoughts?

Any comments/feedbacks/concerns would be appreciated!!

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Post Information

Title	Very fast Attraction Building technique
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	91
Comments	70
Date	July 17, 2011 2:29 AM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/irpqr/very_fast_attraction_building_technique/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/very-fast-attraction-building-technique.1320357 https://theredarchive.com/post/1320357

Comments

[–]frogma 18 points19 points20 points 15 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 15 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

Yikes, I don't know if I could do this. You mean like, with a girl you just met? What do you do if she reacts negatively?

I'm no AFC, and most of the advice I've gotten from this community has helped me, but I think I'm a bit too nervous to do what you are suggesting here. Maybe if I saw it done or something, I don't know. I mean, can you understand my perspective here? How can you get away with something like that? I would need a better understanding of this technique. . .

I mean, I could kind of imagine it and I'm sure it would make the girl feel woozy (the looking in the eyes, the deep conversation, the close proximity), and in my mind I could imagine the girl just going with it (and then feeling powerful feelings toward you afterward as a result), but somewhere between attempted execution and actual execution of this technique, my brain seems to be going "wtf?"

[–]frogma 16 points17 points18 points 15 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

More often than not, "making moves" requires you to make some pretty overt moves without too much feedback from the girl. What I usually do is caveman them- without any warning whatsoever, I'll either make out with them, or grab them and take them somewhere to fuck, or push them up against a wall, or carry them to a bed. Sometimes it's obvious that she wants it, but usually I just have to assume she wants it.

But you'll almost always get some sort of indication that she'll be ok with it- like in this situation where she's doing the triangle-gazing. Girls are fuckin hard to understand, so they do this sort of shit all the time and guys aren't able to interpret it. The funny thing is, we do it all the time too- but we can only see it from our own perspective.

It's just something where you have to realize it's a possibility ("triangle-gazing = wants to kiss," almost always) and you have to follow through on it. It'll be hard the first 1-3 times, but after that it'll be pretty easy to look back on those first few times and think "Well, I've done it before, so here goes..."

On top of that, the proximity thing is pretty important, but nobody talks about it much. If a girl's like 6 inches away from you, no matter how terribly ugly she is, there's almost always a little spike in attraction. I've made out with my fair share of hideous girls, and that's exactly how it happened- she got really close to me and I basically just said "fuck it." Girls have the same reaction to that. Just by getting closer to someone, you're "invading" their space, which automatically means they're gonna be more comfortable with you (unless they back away, but you'll find that that doesn't happen too often when you're doing it naturally).

[–]Fulllplate 5 points6 points7 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]hella_bro1 points 15 years ago [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]frogma 2 points3 points4 points 15 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I don't pay attention to shit like that, but I go after girls I'm attracted to.

It's literally worked every single time, in terms of her kissing back and shit. The last time it "didn't" work so well was when I made out with this girl for a few seconds, then she pulled away and said something about it- I forget what she said, but she liked it- then her fuckin friend came out of nowhere because she saw it happen and proceeded to bitch me out for it. That was a super fun night overall though (unrelated to what happened with this girl).

You'll get shit from cockblocks all the time- and my "style," I guess, is the type of thing where you really want to beware of them if you want to pull the girl. When you're being "forward" like that, the girl herself is gonna be cool about it (as long as you're not a retard and you're getting a good vibe), but she's worried about her friends- and her friends are worried for her (or sometimes just jealous). That's a small price to pay though.

[–]hella_bro1 points 15 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]frogma 1 point2 points3 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ZanshinJ 1 point2 points3 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]lolalias 0 points1 point2 points 15 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]frogma 0 points1 point2 points 15 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Most recently, I made out with a girl in a library and a girl on a train by basically doing that, but we had already been talking and shit so I already knew it was gonna happen. Remember, everyone does this with their eyes when they want to kiss someone- though people also do it in more casual interactions, so you usually still have to build some attraction/comfort first. I've probably done it- or something similar- pretty much every time I've kissed a girl, and sometimes it's in day game.

Day game's more difficult for me in terms of escalation- I'm sure there have been plenty of times where I've gotten "the eyes" from a girl and didn't do anything about it just because it's less "socially acceptable" during the day (which is a limiting belief of mine).

My goal with "seduction" as a whole is to get to a point where I can be extremely sexual and open right off the bat in virtually any situation. I think it's possible to get to that point- supposedly BonoboTimes and Minotaur from rsdnation are already doing this constantly- but it requires a shit-ton of calibration and congruence (and they're both pretty good-looking guys, so I'm sure that helps). As of now, I'm already doing it fairly often when I'm drunk or in a really awesome mood, so I know it's possible to do it all the time- my mindset just isn't there yet.

So yeah, it works for day game in basically the same way as night game. Day game's just difficult to follow through on because people have hangups about getting intimate with a stranger during the day.

For me it's happened like 85% of the time at night, and 15% during the day (and those are basically the same percentages as me kissing girls).

[–]lolalias 0 points1 point2 points 15 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]frogma 2 points3 points4 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I do the same thing. It's all about your frame. Some guys have said shit about how "frame" is overrated, or that you'll fuck yourself over by trying to focus on having a "good" frame (which is definitely true, in some cases), but I generally disagree. Frame is important. You have to know how to keep a strong frame and never waver from it. Even when you do say shit that's out of line, instead of turning around and apologizing or letting it get to you in any way, just keep your frame. Let everyone else become a part of it (and they will, if it's strong).

This is why bosses can tell lame jokes and get everyone to laugh. It's why celebrities can do whatever the fuck they want. It's why jocks can continue being popular even when they do stupid shit that doesn't warrant it. It's why I can "randomly" grind on girls, consistently, and not be seen as a creep (except by guys on seddit who have never done it). It's why I can totally fuck up and say stupid beta shit (and I do, a lot) but it doesn't affect the overall interaction because I keep my strong frame.

One of the best times for "keeping a strong frame" is when a girl doesn't seem to like you. You can either give up, or you can continue to live in your own awesome reality where everyone likes you, and continue to act like it's true, since it is (it definitely requires calibration- you don't want to just continuously be a dick to some girl). If your frame is strong, you can get away with almost literally anything, and people will accept it.

[–]MO91 19 points20 points21 points 15 years ago (41 children) | Copy Link

[–]frogma 19 points20 points21 points 15 years ago (40 children) | Copy Link

Yep. That's triangle-gazing. It's exactly what I do (and what basically everyone does when they want to kiss someone- if you pay attention, you'll see most girls doing the same to you when you're that close to em). If you ever see a girl doing it to you, just go in for the kiss- no need to say anything about it. She's expecting it and she wants it.

Literally, pretty much any time you're in a situation where you're a foot or less away from her face and you're looking directly at each other (mainly at bars/clubs/concerts/nighttime stuff- during the day it can be hard), just go for the kiss. Since the beginning of college, I've never, ever had a girl reject it. They always allow it, for at least a few seconds. The worst rejections I've gotten were when a girl would push me back after a brief makeout and then a friend would swoop in to cockblock.

[–]MO91 9 points10 points11 points 15 years ago (35 children) | Copy Link

[–]frogma 1 point2 points3 points 15 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 15 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]Fulllplate 0 points1 point2 points 15 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]heckz 1 point2 points3 points 15 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]dcss 1 point2 points3 points 15 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Fulllplate 0 points1 point2 points 15 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 15 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Fulllplate1 point 15 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]frogma -3 points-2 points-1 points 15 years ago (23 children) | Copy Link

Well I'll also recommend to you my patented grinding technique.

Step One: Go to the dancefloor (of a college bar, preferably).

Step Two: Find a girl who seems pretty "open" to an approach- hard to describe, but you know it when you see it. Also, just find a girl you're attracted to.

Step Three: Walk up to that girl, while swaying a bit to the music. Be confident, like you do it all the time and it's just natural for you.

Step Four: Grind on her. Don't hesitate. Catch some eye contact if you can, though if you do what I do (approach a group of girls standing in a circle- or sometimes just a loner girl by herself) you might not be able to make any eye contact initially. Just fuckin grind on her like it's what you do, because it is what you do.

Step Five: Get your lips close to her shoulder/neck area. Gradually get closer until you're touching whatever area. Then kiss the area in a sensual way. Then move towards the head and make it so she naturally has to turn her head to kiss you. OR, instead of taking it that far, just dance with her for a minute or two and then BAIL. Go do something else, then go back to the dancefloor and do the same thing with another girl. Repeat that process as much as you want.

Step Six: Go back and find the girl you want, and take her home (or if you're already dancing with her, my usual line is something like "I have drinks back at my place"- or I just grab her hand and walk her out to an area where we can chat/make out a bit.

Step Seven (as a corollary to Step Six): Give the girl a good excuse to go back to your/her place. Make it happen. Then fuck her.

[–]Franz_Ferdinand 4 points5 points6 points 15 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]chickenshitmchammers 1 point2 points3 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]frogma 2 points3 points4 points 15 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Franz_Ferdinand 3 points4 points5 points 15 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]warpcowboy 0 points1 point2 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]frogma -1 points0 points1 point 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

should be saved until after you've k-closed.

In my experience it's been a bit different. In certain situations, it's considered more "intimate" to be kissing the shoulder/neck area. But a lot of times, that area can be totally fine to kiss (or bite, lick, or whatever), but the girl still might not want to kiss you on the lips. I'd guess it's because it's only me doing the kissing, while she can be doing whatever. Whereas if we lock lips, she might as well be saying "fuck me now." In terms of grinding, kissing the shoulder/neck allows you to show all the interest, and she can enjoy it without returning any interest of her own- and you do that for a few seconds (or sometimes a lot longer), and she'll eventually just be like "alright" and turn to kiss you.

I just don't like grinding front-to-front because it's kind of fuckin weird (I don't really know what I'm doing most of the time, and the girl hardly ever does either, so we're just kinda swaying against each other and bumping legs and shit).

What I do most often though is similar to what you said- I'll dance with her for a little bit and then just leave. Then if I want to, I'll find her later (and sometimes she'll come to find me), or I'll just go and dance with someone else and do the same thing.

[–]tehjocker 12 points13 points14 points 15 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link

[–]Boonana -1 points0 points1 point 15 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link

[–]tehjocker 0 points1 point2 points 15 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

[–]frogma -1 points0 points1 point 15 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

I won't deny the drunk part. Go into most packed bars on a Friday night and there's a good chance about 90% of the people have been drinking.

I've only been with 2 girls who were 5+ years older than me, and let me tell you, it's even easier with them. Ie, that "technique" I mentioned would basically be too much work. I didn't dance with either of them- I basically just flirted really overtly with them for about a minute and took them back to my place (without getting too personal, let's just say my logistics were really good those nights).

I'm telling you though man, the grinding thing fuckin works. How often do you see a "creepy" guy grinding with a random girl? And now I ask you: How often do you see him getting turned down? You don't. I mean, I've definitely seen it happen, but 99% of the time you just see him grinding on the girl. And the other times, it's some poor schmuck with no calibration going up to like 10-15 different girls doing it. I'm not that guy, so I don't get the same reactions as him.

I mean shit man, there's a reason I don't bring up this "technique" too often anymore. Girls come on here and say they wouldn't like it (girls on reddit, mind you), and guys who've never ever had the balls to even try it come on and say it's creepy. Never has a guy said "Well I've tried it 20 times and it didn't work." It's the same story with most "seduction" techniques. A lot of them will seem fuckin weird, or way too forward, if you've never done em.

[–]tehjocker -2 points-1 points0 points 15 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]frogma -1 points0 points1 point 15 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]tehjocker1 point 15 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]Boonana -2 points-1 points0 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]MO91 2 points3 points4 points 15 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]frogma 2 points3 points4 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Beautiful. Usually I don't pull girls too early in the night unless they're literally by themselves (or their friends are just gone for whatever reason) because it's too fast for them. They know why I want to leave so quickly and they put up a ton of ASD.

So I usually do what I said- grind and make out with at least a few different girls, which takes a couple hours usually (in between, I'm either talking to my friends or talking to other "sets" I've met in different parts of the bar). When I leave a bar it's often at closing time, so the girl I leave with is hardly ever hungry- or at least, she doesn't care about it. I'm sure you don't have much food at your place, but I'd try to use that more often ("I have food at my place").

The movie line always works best when I bring it up earlier in the conversation. As college kids, we always use lines from movies and shit, so later on I just bring it up again ("We have to watch [Movie] together!"). I can't remember any times where it's failed.

[–]Sed5 2 points3 points4 points 15 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]chickenshitmchammers 0 points1 point2 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]frogma 0 points1 point2 points 15 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I've never used it, but I can definitely see it working. I don't pay attention to shit like that, but if you're coming from a position of higher-value and teasing her about it, I'm sure it can work fine.

But like I sorta said above, I hate (absolutely fucking hate) verbalizing that sort of shit, usually. There have just been so many times where I've either killed the vibe by saying stuff like that, or done fine without using any lines like that. It's almost always better to just go for the kiss, unless you're already naturally thinking of a line like that. Most times when guys say those sort of lines, it's because they're uncomfortable with just kissing the girl- they need to put in some sort of filler because we're guys and we're stupid.

I've been across the whole fuckin room from girls, made eye contact, smiled and shit, and just walked up and started making out with them. When you're getting a good vibe, it's usually a sign that you can move forward. There's no need to insert a line unless it comes to you naturally.

My whole "game" is based on vibes. That's how I thought of "game" before I discovered the community, and it always worked great for me. If you can establish a good vibe, just keep it up and push forward. The rest of this shit is just all the little nuances that help people understand how to create that vibe. The better you get at feeling out the vibe, the more "seduction techniques" you'll naturally start using. I was doing push/pull before I ever heard about it just because I felt the vibe and knew when it was a good time to push or pull.

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