If you date a girl and you feel like there's this dude trying to steal her from yeh...what do?

intjpua · 2011-07-27T02:20:01+00:00

Welcome to the world of dating attractive women. There is always some dude trying to get into her pants. This is not an odd situation. Becoming defensive about it, showing weakness and concern that she might stray, is the best way to insure that she will stray. This is, honestly, the price of dating hot girls. If you can't be non-reactive, you're never going to be able to keep one.

You and I know that the "she isn't his type" bit is a gambit, intended to increase attraction. He wants to fuck her, no doubt about it. I'd probably call it out, with a, "You know that guy wants to fuck you, right? He's just orbiting you in the friend zone hoping for a shot at the golden ring." But, I'd say it laughingly...not angrily or with any hint of jealousy.

You counter by being aware of his machinations, but being unaffected by them. So, joke about it when he says something you know is an attempt to flirt, but that she doesn't quite see (or sees but doesn't admit to you). "Poor thing is trying to flirt with you. Let him down easy, darlin', he's got it bad for you and he seems so sweet."

Advanced version of the game would be to offer to stand aside for the true love that is clearly developing between the two of them. Give her a little bit of fear of loss. i.e. "Aw, he's so nice to you. I can stand aside, if you want to give him a shot. I wouldn't want to get in the way of true love." Of course, if she actually likes him (which the constant texting might indicate), she might take you up on it. But, them's the breaks. Other fish in the sea, and all that jazz. You want her gone, anyway, if she's going to stray. Better now than after she's banged him and picked up a friendly case of herpes or whatever.

Seriously, you need to really internalize this unafraid and non-reactive frame. I didn't realize quite how dramatic the "hot women always have men trying to lay them" situation was until I started dating a very solid 9, with a fan club (she's semi-famous, and has seriously high end orbiters, including some people who are actually famous). If I were fretting over every guy who tries to fuck this girl, I'd give myself a heart attack. She's being asked out every day by guys who have infinitely more money, more fame, and more of everything, than I have...except this girl, who absolutely adores me. I know her well enough to know she'll be faithful as long as I'm providing what she needs (confidence, assertiveness, excitement, mystery, etc.). So, I don't even think about the other dudes, and when they come up, I just chuckle about her fan club. By putting those guys, even the high value ones, into the category of fawning fans, I disarm them. They're just sweet boys with a crush. I'm the man she needs.

boyfrienddestroyers · 2011-07-27T06:46:41+00:00

give her what she needs and she won't seek it from other men

lessthanzero · 2011-07-27T20:21:27+00:00

He even keeps on saying that she isnt his type and all

The guy clearly has game.

ShamwowTseDung · 2011-07-27T02:01:28+00:00

Dump her.

daygamer · 2011-07-27T14:59:41+00:00

i got a girl's number...everything went well and we have been banging it for the past 2 weeks.

I'm an AFC with a GF

Is she actually your GF or just a girl you're fucking? If she's not your actual gf I wouldn't even bother worrying about the other guy, I'd just be out there trying to game other women as well as seeing her.

RedErin · 2011-07-27T15:34:17+00:00

Make friends with the dude.

SpiderFan · 2011-07-27T17:35:10+00:00

You can only control yourself: This is going to be one of the most important principles you ever learn. Every week reflect on this principle and see how you can incorporate it into your decisions.

I'm STILL in the process of fully embracing this principle.

SpiderFan · 2011-07-27T20:42:23+00:00

You can only control yourself: This is going to be one of the most important principles you ever learn. Every week reflect on this principle and see how you can incorporate it into your decisions.

I'm STILL in the process of fully embracing this principle.

bashGOPgetkarma · 2011-07-27T05:34:39+00:00

Wow weird. Ive been texting a girl im trying to steal from another dude. It isnt you is it?? Are you the one who called and threatened me today?

Title	If you date a girl and you feel like there's this dude trying to steal her from yeh...what do?
Author	LeProdigy
Upvotes	12
Comments	29
Date	July 27, 2011 1:53 AM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/j0qf7/if_you_date_a_girl_and_you_feel_like_theres_this/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/if-you-date-a-girl-and-you-feel-like-theres-this.1320690 https://theredarchive.com/post/1320690

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