It seems like RESPECT = FRIEND ZONE

worthwhilethrowaway · 2011-09-23T23:05:09+00:00

if you respect women more than you respect yourself, that's where the problem is.

puaCurveBall · 2011-09-23T22:53:47+00:00

You are respecting what you think she wants, not what she actually wants.

biffyboy · 2011-09-23T22:24:01+00:00

No this is absolutely not the case. When you sacrifice your identity to 'respect a woman's wishes' you get friend zoned. It's not being a dick to say no. It's the opposite, it's showing that you have a backbone and are strong and assertive, and that you have more interesting things to do than to be their stool. Does this mean you should never help a lady out? No. Does it mean you shouldn't go out of your way to help a lady out? Yes.

journeytonowhere · 2011-09-23T23:22:28+00:00

I get where you are coming from and it's a sticking point that I'm working on myself. But you don't need to be a dick or manipulative to be successful with women! And you don't need to disrespect her wishes. If she doesn't want to take it in a certain direction, then certainly respect that. One way to think about it though, is to take the lead in setting the pace and the tone of the relationship by being open about your attraction.

But I feel you. I have gained the trust of many women because I am attentive, I listen, etc. Problem is when I found someone I was attracted to, I friend zoned myself with the nice guy attitude instead of making things a little more sexy. Making in my head I associated escalating as disrespect because, to be honest, I have known some scum bags who lie say anything to get laid. Personally, I wouldn't be interested in this if it meant I had to lie or be disrespectful. Not who I want to be. The ones with whom I did have success with, I actually let it be known that I found them physically and mentally attractive and they dug it.

cody_au · 2011-09-25T11:43:50+00:00

But whenever I respect a woman's wishes, I get friend zoned.

Have you ever heard of not looking at what a woman is saying, but looking at what she is doing? (And by extension, if she's with you and "not doing anything" that's your sign that she's open to you trying anything to see what happens).

What am not supposed to ever let her have any control in the pace of the relationship?

This part you'll need to explain more.

you_require_moar · 2011-09-23T22:50:51+00:00

Depends on the woman.

If she has daddy issues, then respect is usually repulsive to her.

Good girls (are there any left in the world?) have healthy attachment patterns and do appreciate chivalry. Just don't put her on a pedestal.

Title	It seems like RESPECT = FRIEND ZONE
Author	hefnetefne
Upvotes	7
Comments	18
Date	September 23, 2011 10:15 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/kpilg/it_seems_like_respect_friend_zone/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/it-seems-like-respect-friend-zone.1322851 https://theredarchive.com/post/1322851

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