Today was one of the worst days ever. A complete destruction of my inner game.

ThrowawayPUA · 2012-03-07T20:37:38+00:00

Tomorrow is another day. You were working on your AA and that work didn't just evaporate because you had some disappointments. Keep at it.

But watch out for that desperation for attention, it's not good. That can end up as "dancing monkey syndrome," where you're trying so hard for attention that you become the jester, not the seducer.

Solution to not getting invited to parties: host your own parties.

metshower · 2012-03-07T20:38:09+00:00

Take a short break. Take your mind off of game. Meet up with your regular friends, have fun with your hobbies. Chances are you'll soon be itching to make approaches again.

pPUA · 2012-03-07T21:00:16+00:00

Just keep doing what you like. Don't take flaking personally... and it's just 2 girls out of however many you want to talk to. low %. :)

The_Decoy · 2012-03-07T21:17:36+00:00

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bcktth · 2012-03-07T21:59:34+00:00

Imagine your confidence like the stock market, you're going to reach lows and highs of all sorts but no matter what you continue going.

oreopimp · 2012-03-08T02:04:17+00:00

If you're inner game is that combustible, it was not true inner game but a handful of techniques you lived by in order to get external validation from women. If you had true inner game, true self actualization, what women do, no matter how many is not an issue to you. It's possible you are new to this and you haven't put much work into this yet, you need to find a way to tune the internal signals up so high on your radio that external signals will not bother you.

Remember: every single thing you believe EVERY SINGLE THING you think will effect your reality of the world and by thinking and believing whatever is going through your mind you will create ripples that will infect your reality. Your outer world is only a reflection of your inner world. You have to believe you are who you've always wanted to be. You do not try to be. You ARE that person, NOW. You do the things that person would do, you have the fun that person would have, you pursue the highest goals that person would set for themselves. Happiness, any emotional feeling we desire comes indirectly, never directly, it is always through the actions we pursue that we find fulfillment, if you pursue happiness itself it will evade you. Don't ever believe you are an AFC, or sinking back into that because if you do THAT IS WHAT YOU WILL BECOME. Remember this: think of nothing but what you want, do not think of who you were, think of who you ARE. You may be a sapling now but you ARE ALWAYS THAT TREE YOU WILL BECOME. If you believe you are a failure, if you believe you have no confidence, if you believe no one will like you...guess what? That WILL BE YOUR REALITY. And you know it's true because of all those negative beliefs you are sabotaging yourself with are creating the feelings and reality you are living right now. STOP. Lie to yourself if you have to, in fact you probably will but guess what your mind will start to believe what you tell it. Be that person right now, the one you always wanted to be.

Never, ever let anyone dictate your feelings. Never let them have the remote control to your well being.

puaCurveBall · 2012-03-07T22:31:12+00:00

Being an awesome social guy is a different thing than not getting flakes.

You are on a path but not at the end yet. Next steps should be figuring out why they flaked, whether you are # closing properly or what frame of the relationship you are presenting and fixing it.

Don't get discouraged just because you haven't learned a skillset yet.... just being the social guy doesn't mean the rest of the stuff is automatically worked out.

blahdude1 · 2012-03-07T23:30:34+00:00

The best advice I can think of is to think of this as a long term process. You are working on your AA, inner game, and social/dating life in general. There is no quick fix. But with a lot of effort, things will definitely improve over time. So look for long term benefit, and try not to be too shortsighted. Along any journey, you will take many steps forward, and occasionally take steps backward. Don't let good news bring too much false confidence, and don't let bad news bring you down too much. Just keep on at it.

MockingDead · 2012-03-07T23:45:23+00:00

Remember that as a Samurai must draw and cut 10,000 times for mastery, you must approach 10,000 times.

I didn't count any success of failure at first. Just re-calibrate and move on.

snobear84 · 2012-03-08T01:00:29+00:00

Outcome independence is a key element of inner game. You meet women because it is fun for you or at least a learning experience.

One of the things that I have learned is that it is not all about you when interacting with women. Maybe their cell phone died, maybe a realtive died, maybe they died. Maybe the they got back together with their old bf and couldn't be bothered to return your text. Maybe you narrowly missed. If they are rude or flakey that doesn't mean it has anything to do with you.

The only thing you can control is yourself.

Analyze the situation, learn, and move on. What went well? What could ahve gone differently? What am I going to try next time?

You are actually gaining skill when you do this. Beating yourself doesn't make you better with women, feeling gutted about an interaction doesn't teach you anything. Allowing yourself to feel worse doesn't mean that you will learn more. In fact it often inhibits taking action, which mean you learn much less. The lessons do not change, they are there whether you feel gutted, indifferent, or brilliant about the interaction.

You can alway learn something. Even if it is the importance of outcome independence to inner game. If you decide that you are going to let other people determine your value to yourself and therfore your value projection to others, you will not be successful.

You are feeling a loss of value due to the outcome of two interactions, when all we know is that two women, for reasons unknown, did not return a call and a text.

Game is qualititive not quantitative. If you had number closed three HB's and f-closed one, would you be as torn up about the other two interactions that you experienced. No. You would be like "I hit it off well with three girls and f-closed one. I am the shit." Yet their reaction is the same in either case.

Relevant => http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fx7sl3jY8GA&feature=related

Big_Timber · 2012-03-07T20:53:54+00:00

Well you can either go back to being an AFC with no girls or you can try again to be a success with girls. I promise things will only get better if you keep trying. Which road do you choose?

And remember that flaking out is part of it too.

2012-03-07T21:32:40+00:00

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omicron-persei-8 · 2012-03-07T22:21:36+00:00

This might be a little off subject but you're not alone on the "I'm always the guy that asks where the party is". Happened all the time to me a while back. For me the answer was making new pals.

2012-03-08T01:42:25+00:00

So two girls flaked on you?! I was flaked on hard by a girl a few weeks ago. Left standing in front of Barnes and Nobles waiting for her until she called 15 minutes late with some crazyass excuse. NEXT! No use even bumming about her. Just off to meet cooler girls. I think we can all agree that PUA and facing you fears is one hell of a roller coaster. I'll be honest when I say I'm currently on a minor dip. But force yourself to get out in the field and do more approaches. You just need to get that "Woooo" / "God mode" state kicked in again, and that could be the next set. You'll never know till you go.

RcskaSedd · 2012-03-08T03:40:46+00:00

thank you for this post, i am going through actually the same thing.. its feels pretty shitty, but after reading the comments, they're all right, just gotta keep on pushing, i understand how you feel that you never get invited to parties, or how you use to be the life of the party, then things are kinda of different and you seek attention, i am going through that myself. I've texted a bunch of girls, all of them dont respond, which feels like shit.

Wavedasher · 2012-03-08T05:33:50+00:00

Thanks for the post man. Something similar just happened to me. I recently was an AFC, but began learning pickup recently. was really really hitting it off with this girl (she asked me if I had a girlfriend, etc) so I txted her for coffee. she responds with a "maybe yeah" for this friday.

well, I'm not going hold my breath waiting. Seeing that flakes happen to everybody and the helpful comments everyone's been posting has helped me get over my first rejection.

in the meantime though, how should I act when I see her around again, both of us knowing that she's flaked? I think I should just act normally and not acknowledge the flaking. Thoughts?

dleet0r · 2012-03-09T14:24:53+00:00

Your prob is that you give a shit. Girl blows you off, who cares? Just move onto the next one and the next, etc.

fluidkarma · 2012-03-09T15:02:42+00:00

Why would you care what two women you don't really know think about you?

Just take it as a critique on you game, find out where you messed up, fix your sticking points, and never ever ever give up...

TheRealFields · 2012-03-07T20:24:18+00:00

Get over it. If you are having problems doing that, get over those problems

Title	Today was one of the worst days ever. A complete destruction of my inner game.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	11
Comments	36
Date	March 7, 2012 8:18 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/qm6wv/today_was_one_of_the_worst_days_ever_a_complete/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/today-was-one-of-the-worst-days-ever-a-complete.1329491 https://theredarchive.com/post/1329491

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