To the women who lurk here and want to be approached

PublicStranger · 2012-03-07T06:04:26+00:00

I like this. As a girl, this describes how I like to be approached by men, too. I really dislike pushiness; I have a passive personality, so I'm really sensitive about being treated like a doormat.

I like feeling wanted and like I brighten someone life without even trying. I like a tone that gives more of an "I like you; let's see what happens" vibe and less of a "you should like me; this is the timeline we'll be proceeding on" vibe. It's less pressure and more fun this way.

Fred_Flintstone · 2012-03-07T06:09:41+00:00

Interesting. I've had quite a few women approach me and I've never liked it. Never thought about why. They have all been very demanding. Not a fan of that at all.

Eksos · 2012-03-07T16:16:23+00:00

Heh. Seems you'd want to move to Norway then. With a single exception, all my relationships have started with a girl approaching me like the story OP described.

30vanquish · 2012-03-07T05:53:02+00:00

I like how this can relate to guys approaching too.

Anybody approaching: Do it with a radiant smile, confidence, and a vibe of non-neediness and you're good to go.

RedCase · 2012-03-07T22:21:51+00:00

That's the problem. Most women approaching men are taking the position of the 'aggressor', so yeah, they are going to end up a bit more demanding usually. They are taking the initiative, which is typically the man's role, so they are going to be more dominant women. It's a fine line for a woman to play her role and also let a man be a man.

This post is a tremendous example of a woman being a woman with full confidence and no need for shame or guilt. She let the man be the man and plainly made her interest known. Like it was said, an 'invitation'. I find it incredibly noteworthy that she was so open as to tell the guy she masturbated thinking about him! LOL! Awesome.

This may sound trampy to many girls, but that's bad programming society has given you. It's practically been crammed down men's throats that women are non sexual. Men are pigs just because we want sex, and women are.... what? They don't want sex? They don't think about sex? They're just bored to tears with sex? Gimme a break. It's so important to let a guy know that you ARE a sexual being. Don't be ashamed of it.

Awesome example of a very open, fascinating feminine spirit. Hope to meet one like her someday :-)

thechaosz · 2012-03-07T18:31:24+00:00

Also when out with your friends don't huddle at the table, talk shit and giggle at every man making an attempt. Be gracious if not interested. I want you, not everyone nor do I care what your friends think.

EtovNowd · 2012-03-07T19:16:12+00:00

Is that front they put up. Obviously hiding their insecurities, being a bit demanding.

Because one of the major tenets of seduction isn't "fake it 'til you make it."

What I do find attractive, is when a girl is not only smiling when approaches but I have clearly seen her having a good time and comes in with no fear

Isn't that what men do when approaching women?

because at one point, she was bossy or she told me what to do. "Call me", "Come find me", "Don't move stay here", "Can you hold my drink? I just have to..."

...yeah they may do this. Or the dreaded, "Are you sure you're going to call me?" But isn't that telling you, basically, Hey I like you, i really like you.

TIL Men and women approaching, are essentially the same thing. Unless, you're the guy trying to play the cool, nonchalant, aloof individual. But then, you're pretty much trying to get a girl to validate herself to you, and then you focus on her insecurities to do it.

tl;dr Life is routine, enjoy it. Smile and others will always enjoy you.

missmars12 · 2012-03-07T19:43:12+00:00

Well, I want to approach someone but I swear his friends judge me anyway. Plus I have about two tiny conversation topics but I am not sure how that would play out after we have spoken about them. Plus he was the first to suggest I come over and speak...but neither of us are willing to actually come over to the other as we are both socially awkward.

2012-03-07T20:28:35+00:00

"I masturbated thinking about you last night".

That's a coincidence, me too!

bcktth · 2012-03-07T19:45:26+00:00

Something that I find a complete turn off, when a girl approaches me. Is that front they put up. Obviously hiding their insecurities, being a bit demanding.

Sounds like a double standard, whole point of PUA is for men to put up a front that they are this holy, unobtainable alpha male being. That they are the holy prize that cannot be redeemed as easily as all the other men in the venue (e.g. betas, AFC's, etc.).

So therefore, don't ask or suggest women drop their front as you raise yours up. Comes off comical to suggest such a thing.

documents1856 · 2012-03-07T20:37:16+00:00

This should be something guys that wait for girls to approach them should read, I used to be one of those guys, but your friend is right. Women that approach you feel like they are empowered over you and did you a favor, therefore you should be grateful to them. Because that doesn't happen as often as you would like, you are hooked and be her bitch.

2012-03-08T10:53:11+00:00

I doubt many woman would take notice to the message. You make a good point and during my brief time befriending woman that was the number one problem I've faced.

Being forced into doing things. It's stupid and at times I play along not because I'm interested but just to not look like a dick. Of course, I hate being labeled the "Nice Guy" more then anything for no apparent reason other then paying for food when no one else had money and that's like what.. Once every few months?

yenners · 2012-03-12T01:38:00+00:00

Worst thing to do is ask me to buy you a drink.

Vortastic · 2012-03-07T07:40:57+00:00

Where was this posted?

dakru · 2012-03-07T17:17:56+00:00

Men love a woman who shows she is hard to get, but then allows you to see her vulnerabilities. Men full a great need to protect a woman.

Piffington · 2012-03-07T06:44:59+00:00

[permanently deleted]

durrrrrrrrrr · 2012-03-08T07:30:54+00:00

Guys approach. Period.

sausagefeet · 2012-03-07T15:02:32+00:00

Basically this guy is a pussy and doesn't know how to.escalate a girl clearly fucking into him. Great advice.

Title	To the women who lurk here and want to be approached
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	142
Comments	46
Date	March 7, 2012 5:40 AM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/qlcq3/to_the_women_who_lurk_here_and_want_to_be/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/to-the-women-who-lurk-here-and-want-to-be.1329510 https://theredarchive.com/post/1329510

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