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[–]jk147 8 points9 points10 points 14 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
Essentially acting like a fun outgoing guy and not a douche.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 14 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
Right- not a douche, but also not a pushover either.
[–]John1234321nhoJ -5 points-4 points-3 points 14 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Off topic a bit but is anyone experienced enough to make a good list of the steps for the most gradual transition from casual chit-chat with a girl all the way to sex? Asking her out to lunch/dinner would be one of the steps but what are the rest?
[–][deleted] 14 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–][deleted] 14 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I'd be willing to write up my experience start to finish. I'll post it on my blog and here, probably in the next few days.
http://datingamerican.blogspot.com
[–]John1234321nhoJ -1 points0 points1 point 14 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
NO, you's taking it all wrong. It's not an 'experience'. It's not a 'this worked for me'. NO. It's something you could list in 2 minutes. It's a list of steps that most guys generally follow.
small talk
?
ask her to lunch/dinner
sexy time.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 14 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Here's how I usually do it. I don't go for the kill the same night I meet people.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Alcohol isn't necessary, but it helps ease the awkwardness for a lot of girls. If you have a good rapport with them (i.e. laughing comes easily) then you should be fine.
[–]TillULoveMeat -1 points0 points1 point 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Who would want to be a "normal" human being? Boring!
[–]pxsalmers 14 points15 points16 points 14 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Very well written, and on point. Nice work.
[–][deleted] 14 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]throwthisinafire -1 points0 points1 point 14 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I have you tagged as "You must be new here."
It's outrageous you think that the author faked a story where a girl blew him off.
Thanks! I was low on field reports this week. Even though I partied all weekend, it seems nothing notable happened. Didn't want to leave seddit dry for a whole week though.
[–]dablac 1 point2 points3 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
metaphorical seeds only please!
Damn, I was looking forward to a good maize harvest this year.
[–]TubbyandthePoo-Bah 1 point2 points3 points 14 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Why text instead of phoning? Texts are impersonal and so easy to ignore.
[–][deleted] -5 points-4 points-3 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I find that a lot of girls aren't even aware their phones do more than facebook. ... ok ok I'm kidding. If I know they're not at work, I might give them a ring. I'm more likely to text if they don't already have my number.
[–]BSchoolBro 5 points6 points7 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Finally someone who puts my mindstate into words. I often encounter friends going through the short game (my friends have no idea about PUA stuff, but they are pretty good at picking up girls in general) and just wanting to hit that ass. Understadable, of course! However, with this approach, you get options from all over the place and build lasting relationships.
Honestly, for me I can not fuck from girl to girl in short periods of time, because it just makes me feel lost. Set your marks gentlemen, but most of all, enjoy the experience.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The multiple exposures definitely helps with building investment which can translate to an equal amount of comfort and attraction.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 14 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This is good for reinforcing inner game as well. I know a lot of guys, especially me, when a girl flakes tend to think, "Oh, shit, I fucked up somewhere. I'm such a loser." More likely than not, that isn't the case. Girls are fickle creatures. Shit happens. Wasn't you. Next girl.
Exactly. It wasn't you... the problem is that it wasn't enough of you for them to feel invested and comfortable. That's a great reason to keep trucking.
[–]IAmTheOmNom 1 point2 points3 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Only that I usually forget about people ... or at least how they look, pretty quickly.
[–]asad16 1 point2 points3 points 14 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
good read! keep your posts coming!
Thanks! I appreciate the positive feedback!
[–][deleted] 14 years ago* (26 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points 14 years ago* (25 children) | Copy Link
No offense but I honestly don't believe women when they talk about dating.
Last time I asked a girl for dating advice she told me to "be a nice guy" and "be more honest."
And to be fair, you shouldn't believe guys for advice on dating guys either.
Edit: I also want to add that I don't feel men's vs women's thought processes are better/worse, only different. Understanding that difference is key. Perhaps the term "entirely" isn't true. But when it comes to dating, there's very little rationality for women to hold on to in the first place. All it is is emotions! Guys try to figure out how to get laid, girls have to decide whether they want to get laid by the guys. One is logistics, the other is temperature taking.
[–]caulking 7 points8 points9 points 14 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I was going to come in and call you out for being sexist for saying that.
I was going to say something like: "Women are attracted to practical things, like money and power, but men only want tits and ass. So maybe you have it backwards."
Then I started to think about what you said. I still think it's sexist, but I admit that maybe you have a point, at least in the context of flaking. You see, I don't think it's that women are illogical in general, but rather that women are just bombarded with so many offers of dick, that they have no choice but to reject most of them on a whim. So a guy trying to get laid will be forced to rely on logic, but a woman trying to get laid can just do whatever suits her fancy.
It's like how the marketing department of a restaurant will put a ton of effort into making their product appealing to customers, but all the customer is thinking is "Ooh, that smells good. I want some."
The mind of a customer isn't inherently less logical than the mind of a marketing exec, but they can afford to abandon logic in that particular context.
I think that's a better explanation for why women's flakiness is so random. I am pretty skeptical of the whole "men = logic, women = emotion" thing. Women seem perfectly capable of using logic when they have to.
If you want more evidence, consider that older women who are trying to get back into dating complain that men flake constantly.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 14 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, I consider putting a disclaimer that the generalizations I make are in the context of dating. And, yeah, it's going to seem a bit sexist, but only because I'm focusing on attracting girls. We won't be going into the psychology of attracting men, but I'm sure that will sound rather sexist too.
[–]caulking 3 points4 points5 points 14 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
haha why didn't you say that to the woman who was arguing with you instead of continuing to insist that women are illogical?
[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points0 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I thought it was implied.
[–]yeaitsgroog-3 points 14 years ago [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link
It seems that the whole comment was fairly emotionally dominated due to a stimulus (being the argument that women act on emotions). I feel like you just proved OP's point more than anything... but I digress.
[–][deleted] 14 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 14 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]throwthisinafire -5 points-4 points-3 points 14 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
quixoticapostasy is a known troll. Please disregard.
[–][deleted] 14 years ago* (13 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 14 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link
I don't think it's the selection process here, it's a real known psychology difference between men and women. You're coming across as one of those NAGDTs. (Not-all-girls-do-this). Which I can't really help you with. Are my observations anecdotal, yes, but with enough data points backed up with most guys here's data points, I think it's fair to say that a large portion of the female population do act this way.
If you don't, that's great for you. I'm not sure what you're looking for.
[–]EmbargoEco 3 points4 points5 points 14 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Hi! Could you direct me to this data, showing these differences in psychological makeup? thanks.
These are a good starting point:
http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/sg36n/why_girls_flake_and_the_longgame/c4dvm16
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 14 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
This article has a sources listed at the bottom, a great read: http://www.lucidpages.com/intel.html
This would be a great book to check out: http://www.amazon.com/Mind-Her-Own-Evolutionary-Psychology/dp/0198504985
This one is off-topic a little, but also a great read if you're into it: http://www.amazon.com/The-Mating-Mind-Sexual-Evolution/dp/038549517X/ref=pd_sim_sbs_b_1
Edit: I will admit that there are chicks that I am not attracted to that do not exhibit these behaviors that I know of. I am of the understanding that they did not develop certain traits and selectiveness due to their own low-value in the sexual market (i.e. not attractive to most guys). But this isn't a subreddit about mens/womens rights, this is a subreddit about attracting members of the opposite sex that you're attracted to.
When you read these generalizations assume the tag (in the context of mating) is next to each statement. This goes without saying on every article posted here, especially the ones in the side-bar. I'm not going to argue with you about feminism here, only that I'm good at getting girls to sleep with me, and here's how I do it.
[–][deleted] 14 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]SetupGuy -2 points-1 points0 points 14 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Good god, do you realize how pathetic it is to go to other subs for the explicit purpose of trolling people? It's hilarious when you realize how much you vehemently oppose people who do the same in lgbt, SRS, etc.
[–]SetupGuy -1 points0 points1 point 14 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Actually I have a decent enough grasp on how both of those communities 'work', and I picked them specifically because I know you are decently active in both. So, there's that..
[–]NevrHeardofIt 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Wow, if I wrote a fr/thoughts report, this would be it, word for word. We are on the same page brother.
Btw... Does anyone get the reference in my name? I'm an ent and this gets me every time I think of it!
[–]oval_volvo 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link
How often do you go out? Do you always drink? I rarely go out but when i do I end up thinking long game, never see her again, and get oneitis...
I go out multiple times a week. Depending on the venue, some girls I'll likely never see again, but at parties I end up running into the same girls more than a few times within a month. Parties are where it's at. Always pick house-parties if you have a choice. Smaller groups are even better.
Girls by default won't subject themselves to you if they have a choice. People usually communicate to me that my personality grew on them. That only happens if I've got a captive audience long enough to grow on them.
[–]megrez 4 points5 points6 points 14 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
Girls by default won't subject themselves to you if they have a choice.
Can you please elaborate what you mean by this?
[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points-1 points 14 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
Let's say you're playing a game of monopoly with a group of friends including a girl that doesn't know you, for the next hour, you can pace yourself, and space out funny jokes, be yourself, be flirty and more or less win her attraction (if she's ever going to be into you).
Now let's say you've introduced yourself at a busy party. If there are enough people to mingle with, she may not be interested for longer than a few minutes until she wanders off to find somebody she's already more comfortable with. (even when this same exact girl would've been attracted to you under different circumstances).
Obviously, seddit is dedicated to defeating that problem, but it's always great to hedge your bets by creating a captive audience. Seventy percent of the time, it works every time.
[–]megrez 1 point2 points3 points 14 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
Okay, I guess I just don't do that. If someone interests me I find ways to go back there and talk to them. And in the context of hook-ups especially, if that interest isn't there by first glance, it's not gonna happen. It's just that depending on how horny I am my standards can vary a lot.
But yeah, this is just me, so I get what you're saying.
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 14 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
The amount of work you have to put into this may be related to your looks. I'm not the best looking guy, so a moment like an axe commercial probably won't happen to me.
[–]megrez 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
I'm a girl, I was commenting on the part I quoted, sorry if it wasn't clear. I was just saying that I can't identify with that quote, because I do subject myself to someone if I'm interested, even at a bigger party.
[–][deleted] -4 points-3 points-2 points 14 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
One of my best features is my sense of humor. I can tell you right now, a lot of girls who end up hooking up with me probably would never consider it until I get them laughing. You may know who you're interested in at first, but you have no idea who you could be interested in later. That's why we have to go through so much trouble to get you to find out more about us and go.. oh wait, he's actually pretty cool!
(Edit: Tagged as female for future reference. :P)
[–]megrez 2 points3 points4 points 14 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
This is just me, but that's never worked. I can't build attraction - only pretend attraction born out of horniness or almost attraction that I know could never really work, because I have tried in the past and it always ended badly.
I feel like this whole PUA thing is so foreign to me because I don't need to be 'picked up'. I'm either already there and then it's just a question of time and whether the other person is interested or I'm not, and then no amount of whatever is going to change my mind.
Sure, the dynamics change in the context of a person with whom I can imagine an actual relationship, but even there if there's no initial attraction, that isn't going to change. At least right now, this is the way I am.
But again, this is just me, it's just been bugging me for a while that I couldn't put myself in the shoes of the girls being talked about here.
[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points0 points 14 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
One of the things I hear a lot in the seduction community is that girls are blissfully unaware of exactly the mechanisms that actually attract them. It's one of the main reasons we don't go to girls for dating advice. If done right, you shouldn't notice being picked up. You might think things just flow naturally, and you have a type you're attracted to- we're just secretly exploiting these things.
Obviously ultimately if you're not physically attracted .. then you won't be. But if somebody's on the edge, good game will get him far.
[–]sithyiscool 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Long/Mid term game is necessary for social circle house parties. FLIRT WITH EVERYONE. Especially if there are multiple leads. Social circles are great for meeting ppl, but also present logistical problems (she doesn't want to hardcore flirt with you at the party or a ONS bc her friends will hound her about it/jeopardize social standing/introduce drama. This is also why isolation/plausible deniability is important for social circle game)
That second time you see them can be very successful for sealing the deal due to the first interaction
For social circle parties its good to consider: Is this girl a good friend of your friends (ie with see her a lot). Is she only really friends with one of the girls/guys? Does she have a different social circle she typically visits? Does she only come out for big holidays (halloween, nye) or events (birthdays etc) with this group? Is she a new girl to the social circle through work/friend etc.
Recognizing the difference between a girl who you will see next weekend, next month, or next year/never is necessary for deciding on long or short term game.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Also a good thing to consider: Is she good friends with other girls you want to game? Make your decision wisely, because a lot of girl friends will turn you down to support the girl you already messed with.
[–]caulking 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/qnxsy/fr_no_text_response_used_technique_i_learned_here/
Have you ever tried this technique?
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 14 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
I haven't. I feel like it's too direct, but what I do do sometimes is wait a week and then text like the original conversation never happened "are you coming to the party?"
Makes her feel like I sent a bulk text. Also makes her think there's a group thing happening, so if there was a problem with her comfort level, this might help.
[–][deleted] 14 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]sithyiscool 3 points4 points5 points 14 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Read the person's post history. They often don't add positive /insightful/helpful posts to this community, and just jump om and complain at any post that was already controversial to begin with.
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thanks, I have RES tagged them appropriately.
[–]sithyiscool 1 point2 points3 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
There is a HUGE difference between the fun flirty person, and the sexually tries to advance on everyone person.
Flirting correctly will have everyone enjoying your company and being attracted to you
[–]BroGangsterProPUA -2 points-1 points0 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
tl;dr
© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.created by /u/dream-hunter
[–]jk147 8 points9 points10 points (10 children) | Copy Link
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