So ive been fucking a coworker of mine. I think she is catching feelings, what should i do?

notlurkinganymoar · 2012-04-28T21:20:18+00:00

Lotta bad advice in here. Just talk to her and tell her what you want. You can start with "idk what yr looking for, but..." or, "I just want to be clear that I'm not looking for anything serious. I don't want any hurt feelings. Are you ok with that?" Use a lot of "I" statements.

In the future, set expectations early of what you are looking for (e.g., not looking for anything serious).

glassuser · 2012-04-28T17:24:00+00:00

Ever know why we tell you not to shit where you eat?

This is why.

unoriginalsin · 2012-04-28T18:15:59+00:00

Put it in her butt.

WeGonFiiiiindYou · 2012-04-28T17:04:56+00:00

Never fish off the company pier.

If you value your job, it's best to cut things off with her now, and keep it as civil and drama free as possible.

soundofmuzak · 2012-04-28T16:56:13+00:00

invent a time machine to go back before you fucked her?

crashgold · 2012-04-28T19:22:58+00:00

Don't dip your pen in the company ink

ThePensiveWok · 2012-04-28T18:43:16+00:00

Ive been in the same situation, still fucking this girl, and I just let her know that it will never ever go anywhere, period. It's been going pretty well for the past year.

ThrowawayPUA · 2012-04-28T20:02:22+00:00

You should never ever sleep with women that you work with, unless you want to. What do you want to do?

Mr_Question · 2012-04-28T20:54:34+00:00

May I ask how you became fuckbuddies? I will be working with a HB9 later this year and I don't want to make it awkward but I want in her pants... like now. Any suggestions or such?

Just found out she like football and my team for that matter.

2012-04-28T17:59:17+00:00

Tell her you got in touch with your inner female and you discovered you are a raging homosexual. Then turn on an episode of the Golden Girls, and you're all set.

thebluehippo · 2012-04-28T20:37:34+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2012-04-28T19:50:33+00:00

There's no such thing as colleague-with-benefits. This is why.

OpenMarriagePUA · 2012-04-28T22:19:24+00:00

Did you make it clear before sex that there would be no chance of a serious relationship?

2012-04-28T23:52:50+00:00

You should probably get her to understand that how you feel about the situation. If you think it could be hazardous to your job, break it off immediately.

sinking_sunk · 2012-04-29T00:37:19+00:00

I believe the grand consensus here is that you fucked up? You wanted to have your cake and fuck it in the office place too and you know that's bad. Usually there is nothing you can do to avoid some level of discomfort/HR involvement, etc. HOWEVER, you have one advantage - that is you haven't technically started a relationship yet. You might be able to head this puppy off at the pass. But it will take some crafty shit on your part. I offer this from experience. I have done it, and it takes effort and but the results are tangible. You'll going to be a low-down ruthless vato if you're comfortable with that.

Basically, you have to make her give you reasonable cause to preclude a relationship, such as catching her in a lie or out with another guy. Thus, you must foment such a scenario to catch her in such, even if the scenario appears reasonable to most people. Have a single guy friend of your (mutual friend might be easier) meet her out for dinner/drinks. Discover them going out "by accident" and be surprised about it (not mad). Later, confront her that you have "trust issues" due to a previous relationship and seeing her out with another guy has sparked those feelings. (hopefully she didn't tell you about it. Being out of town and coming back suddenly could help this). Sure, you're being somewhat unreasonable, but she'll feel somewhat responsible for being out with another guy even if she thinks you're a over-reactive douche. And she'll realize that a relationship with you is probably not the best thing anyway.

TL;DR - Being a low-down, ruthless vato can get you away from the situation scot free.

thebluehippo · 2012-04-29T01:49:18+00:00

I would explain what you've just explain rather frankly, but not forced. Emphasize that you still are up for hanging out, but you're not comfortable about entering a relationship with a coworker, and that you both should slow things down (in other words, stop fucking).

Like someone else said, speak with a lot of "I"'s because you're trying to conveying how you feel. Then ask her about what she feels. Don't slam the door on her face: show genuine concern for her emotions and try to appeal to her sympathetic side so she takes the time to see your emotions.

Don't make her think you're saying this because you think she's getting emotions for you: she might lie just to keep fucking. Don't make her think it's because there's something wrong with her, but don't word it wrong because if she's a psycho, she'll quit her job tomorrow just to be with you.

If the tables were turned, how would you want the woman to approach you about the concern?

jimii · 2012-04-28T18:16:41+00:00

Break it off and get her fired later that day so you don't have to deal with the backlash.

In all seriousness though, don't fuck co-workers from now on.

thebluehippo · 2012-04-28T19:05:02+00:00

I think you've given enough tips already... To your coworker that is. Edit: wording

funkmasterfelix · 2012-04-28T20:58:50+00:00

rule about not dating coworkers is stupid -- the rule is no hooking up with coworkers; dating is WAY less complicated than FWB.

stop wanting the FWB thing and just date her, pussy. it is the least complicated and most chill option you have at this point. maybe if you put some effort into the relationship you'll discover that she's better than just "cute and all".

alternatively you could quit your job and change your phone number.

thebluehippo · 2012-04-29T03:44:05+00:00

[permanently deleted]

AegisSC · 2012-04-29T05:07:31+00:00

Find a new job.

PS: After going through the responses here, I'm sure you're being trolled. Just find a new job and stop being an chauvinistic douche so you don't get into this type of messes.

dillonistired · 2012-04-29T08:18:16+00:00

be a man and be honest with her

2012-04-28T22:27:18+00:00

NEVER fuck a coworker

2012-04-28T19:39:11+00:00

Outside of work casually explain to her that you are going to continue to date other women because you don't want to miss out on experiencing all that life has to offer.

PUA_Rochester · 2012-04-28T19:31:48+00:00

Are you serious? A girl will have feelings for you by the latest the third time she fucks you, unless she's a lawyer. So of course she has feelings for you, she's not a fembot.

Act aloof and continue fucking her. She'll eventually have the DTR (Define The Relationship) talk, but until that time enjoy the fruits of your labors.

Since the DTR talk sounds like is nigh approaching, I'd start playing the field again unless you already have two in the kitty.

Lurker_IV · 2012-04-28T19:39:45+00:00

Fuck another coworker, or just some other non-coworker, make sure the first one knows about it and then emphasize that your relationship was always a purely physical relationship.

If that isn't enough then.... I don't know.

Title	So ive been fucking a coworker of mine. I think she is catching feelings, what should i do?
Author	thebluehippo
Upvotes	24
Comments	64
Date	April 28, 2012 4:38 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/swx8w/so_ive_been_fucking_a_coworker_of_mine_i_think/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/so-ive-been-fucking-a-coworker-of-mine-i-think-she.1331907 https://theredarchive.com/post/1331907

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