I'm that SAP on the bus. I'm not subscribed to this subreddit but it keeps getting mentioned in posts and PM's. Thought I'd give it a try.

_tweaks · 2012-05-26T22:27:33+00:00

I am so glad you came on here. Ignore the dickcheeses on here or the one's that messaged you after you posted about the bus thing. A lot of the people who were giving you shit probably wouldn't be able to talk to that girl either. I'll admit, reading it myself was kind've painfully hilarious, but I sympathize with your pain, because we've all been there before. You should definitely read the sidebar but I want to tell you some quick things that should should keep in your mind at all times:

You're not better than anyone but at the same time you're still the coolest motherfucker alive. Always.
Stop worrying about what everyone else is thinking about you, and they will start to like you more.
There are more than 3 billion women on this planet, and more of them want to fuck you than you can deal with in one lifetime. Your job is to go out and find them (Credit: 60 years of challenge). There's another hot redditor girl out there and she probably likes you more (especially if you mention that post lol).

Welcome to seddit.

well_it_looks_like · 2012-05-26T20:05:47+00:00

That post was highly entertaining. Your updates had me gut laughing. Try and take some of that great personality you have and display it irl...

TofuTofu · 2012-05-26T20:36:25+00:00

Hi OP. I suggest you subscribe and check out some of the sidebar content. Welcome!

boolaboola · 2012-05-27T00:43:55+00:00

Well hey, if nothing else, at least he wrote a very thorough and detailed FR.

dotcomedy · 2012-05-26T19:43:07+00:00

Stick around for a while and keep reading. Eventually you'll learn from seddit.

kruunch · 2012-05-26T22:26:33+00:00

Does anyone have a link to the original?

squarehouse · 2012-05-26T20:36:29+00:00

My suggestion: Forbid yourself from trying to pick up women on that bus. At best, just have friendly conversations with people, men or women.

I guess at one time I was scarily close to your state. You're looking for an easy way to combat approach anxiety, but you don't realize this is turning you into a creep. You can approach women anywhere, just not on that bus, or in any other sort of closed environment.

You need to combat your approach anxiety head on. Right now, you're being too timid. Be bold, be cool...but not on the bus.

thelastormsbee · 2012-05-26T21:34:57+00:00

I think these are probably some of the main lessons you learned. Just learn from this and be a more courageous man next time.

Don't overthink it. Just be casual and say "Hi, my name's _____." That usually is okay with women. There's nothing creepy about it, and you'll be able to tell from their tone and body language if they're interested in talking to you.
The regret of not talking with a girl or making a move is much worse than messing up or getting rejected. At least you learn from the experience that way. Getting rejected really isn't that bad. It usually has something more to do with them and their situation than you. Most girls aren't rejecting you right away because you're hideous. Well, unless you are 300+ pounds and have severe body odor and acne. Then that's a different problem.
Just relax. This is supposed to be fun and enjoyable.

Chrono803 · 2012-05-26T19:43:11+00:00

I didn't see the story, but it's ok, man. I have a feeling that we are quite a bit alike and the best thing I can tell you is baby steps. Do something small that's more confident or something small that you were just too nervous to do before and all that will build up. Has helped me quite a bit.

Toolazytolink · 2012-05-26T22:04:05+00:00

I work out and have a decent job and i still have a hard time finding girls. This sub Reddit will definitely help you. Remember read and apply what you have learned. Practice makes perfect.

MetaSnow · 2012-05-26T20:33:04+00:00

Read the sidebar. Then read it again. Then go start talking to people, EVERYONE, before you consume more material. By the way, Seddit is massive these days and the main page is not all the good advice it used to be. Stick to the sidebar and the most upvoted posts of all time.

I will say right off hand I read hardly any of the busride thread. Maybe you could have made something happen, maybe not. Either way, read ore here and go forth confident. Cause shit, you already accidentally made the front page.

2012-05-27T00:36:00+00:00

Glad to see you came here. Hopefully, that experience has stained your mind so much that you will now seek to resolve it and have a killer fucking success story months down the line.

HAHA so much editing of "edits" on reddit! Anyway, here's some suggestion to get started:

Start cold approaches with strangers, both male and female, but definitely with women. At your level, I'd go indirect despite the popularity of direct. Direct to me is a level for people who have strong inner-game and have built their skills up.
If you need help with conversation, (obviously this fucked you miserably on the bus) I would highly recommend Carlos Xuma's Alpha Man Conversation and Persuasion. Its on thepiratebay. That shit really breaks everything down and gives you a legitimate framework to build off of. Helps not just with women but in every social aspect.
Know this, success is at the far end of failure. You just made a milestone failure my friend and now you have all the reason to learn and better yourself from it. You will get more and more understanding as you begin your research and pick up various PUA material. Applying it will be your biggest challenge, it is still my biggest challenge.

Good Luck & Learn Much.

gocougs11 · 2012-05-27T02:23:49+00:00

I'm really bummed that you deleted it.

plushsicle · 2012-05-27T02:46:32+00:00

Hey, very glad you made it here, well_it_looks_like. When I saw your post originally, all I could think was, "wow, he posted in the wrong subreddit."

Anyway, like everyone has said: sidebar links. There's tons of stuff here to learn from, so you hopefully don't find yourself in that situation again.

SenorSpicyBeans · 2012-05-27T03:53:14+00:00

I'm mostly a lurker here, and I highly recommend the same to you.

Because while there is certainly some good advice to be had here, a lot of the other users here are complete douchebags about it.

Learn what you can to better yourself, but take it all with a pinch of salt.

2012-05-27T06:59:39+00:00

To be honest, I also subscribe to /r/sysadmin and thought this was about SAP.

What I'd take away from this subreddit is to boost your self confidence and some opening ways to talk to girls. Self confidence can come from dressing better, working out, being awesome in what you do for a living, or just thinking you are kick ass.

Once you have the self confidence down then it is just a matter of time before you report back and say, I got my 10 and I am happy but here is some advice...

2012-05-27T15:07:54+00:00

Don't beat yourself up.

Hobbes86 · 2012-05-28T02:07:46+00:00

"how to win friends and influence people" is the title of a book that would be a good starting point for you. I am presuming your not a complete troll and have serious social anxiety.Take the advice with a pinch of salt as you should with all self help books but listen to the morals and it will help you deal with situations such as this. If you are real I wish you the best, not of luck because luck is out of our control. I wish you the best in the truest sense of your best self. Fact is whether you mean to be or not your a funny mother fucker and that is golden. You just need to find a chic that digs your style. It doesn't matter how banging hot she is, if she doesn't dig your style it will only lead to misery. Hobbes out.

Dread_Hayze · 2012-05-26T23:51:05+00:00

You seem like a smart guy. Theoretically our "art" can be easily trained by smart guys. This is because it is strategy, and strategists are smart. Hope you learn well smart guy.

blitzik · 2012-05-27T00:09:49+00:00

Hey man. I read your post. It was pretty pathetic, but almost all of us have been in your shoes so it's really nothing to be embarrassed over. Read over the sidebar, and take any specific questions you have over to r/askseddit.

This community is really about bettering yourself and becoming more socially competent - it just happens to be through the lens of getting laid. It sounds like you're trapped in your own head, so let's find a way out of there, shall we?

oneAngrySonOfaBitch · 2012-05-27T00:51:24+00:00

i dont know anything about seduction or game or anything but i think you were way too focused on an outcome and fucking up chances of the outcome which made you even more nervous. its like a snowball creating an avalanche.

Terny · 2012-05-27T01:35:09+00:00

First you should do is work on inner game. No tricks will work and will end up fucking you over if you don't have our inner game in shape. http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/gjqim/the_definitive_seddit_inner_game_collection/

penguinv · 2012-05-27T03:00:57+00:00

Hey, you complain about what you got. Rather you might THANK people for taking their time out to try to help you. Attitude is everything in life. An attitude of gratitude goes far.

Are you equally shy with men? I doubt it but I'd like to know.

Do you have any interest in another person, what they are like? Any human might be a person you'd like to get to know. If you dont know how to do that, if your conversations are all so trivial, it's time for you to get real.

Any person, man or woman, is a good place to start. Evaluating their beauty is not a good place to begin.

Look up menshe. Be one.

lycosa2008 · 2012-05-27T03:29:44+00:00

cool, ignore the rest of the noobs on Reddit, they wouldn't even approach either and make an excuse to cover it

id just like to say welcome. there are many people like you that start here and have improved their lives dramatically

quick points: 1) read sidebar 2) afc stands for average frustrated chump 3) fr means field report. 4) don't give a dam what anyone else thinks, strive to be alpha and happy for who you are

have fun, and good luck

TurningItIntoASnake · 2012-05-27T05:03:33+00:00

All I can say is if your story is truly legit and you decided to come here for legitimate help and advice, then welcome and I really hope for the best for you.

Im sure as many others said, start on the sidebar, work your way through that. You'll get a feel for a lot of the stuff here. Some of it might be up your alley, some of it might not be. Either way, the material here can be truly beneficial to everyone. Find what's right for you and I wish you the best of luck on your journey.

GoldenWarrior · 2012-05-27T05:52:11+00:00

You should probably subscribe... Don't have to post, but this isn't just a subreddit about picking up people. It's about bettering yourself as a person, and then creating meaningful interactions.

GanasbinTagap · 2012-05-27T05:53:19+00:00

Lol the nun on the bus story was the creme of the crop.

2012-05-27T12:53:30+00:00

Hey OP, I was on your post and I kind of felt embarrassed for you, to be honest. But now that you're here, I'm kind of proud of you. Now, just like many of the other posters have said, simply start reading all of the sidebar'd content and you will begin to have a basic understanding of how to get along with members of the opposite sex. I also want to answer that third question of yours. You see, there's something in the community called the 3-second rule. It's about approaching a person that you are interested in as soon as possible (if 3 seconds pass after the moment you first see that person, then you have already lost your opportunity). With that said, the reason why the girl in your story refused your offer for coffee is because by then, you were already way way WAY past the 3-second window and although she seemed friendly, probably found you to be somewhat creepy. So there. Anyway, welcome to seddit. Apply and learn!

2012-05-27T18:02:39+00:00

Hey man. I just want to let you know that IT TOOK BALLS to ask that girl for coffee no matter what the outcome. So good work!

That's all this stuff is really. Taking action and observing results, then repeat.

Hobbes86 · 2012-05-28T01:54:12+00:00

You are a funny mother fucker. I mean that purely as a compliment. Respect and peace. Hobbes out.

2012-05-30T21:44:36+00:00

OP, I really need to thank you. I am pretty much SAP on a similar level as you, but I hide it and secretly hate myself for it. I would have similar thoughts as you when I saw a beautiful woman I wanted to talk to.

I read almost all the replies in that AskReddit thread. Many of the posts made me realize that I couldn't even talk to a girl, and put it in perspective. I felt enraged at myself and it broke me through a limiting belief barrier.

In short, I have been way more social these few days after reading that thread. I realize it's really no big deal to talk to people. The more people you talk to, the less SAP, the more likely you'll meet a woman you like.

The posts were actually more beneficial than some of the material here. I knew the benefits of talking to everyone, but it wasn't until I read something like "just grow a pair how hard is it to talk to another human being" that I realized my serious inadequacies.

Conradfr · 2012-05-27T00:12:38+00:00

While reading that thread I thought you needed help from a psychologist.

Not because you didn't really speak with her, but because of what you posted, your thoughts during the whole thing.

tmackattak · 2012-05-27T06:52:45+00:00

Trolls trolling trolls ITT

SniXSniPe · 2012-05-27T06:05:49+00:00

You're 26 years old and you struggle to talk to a beautiful girl sitting next to you on a long bus ride?

Wtf man... Start working out, dressing nicely, etc. Build some confidence if you struggle in the easiest scenario to talk to a chick. You were basically handed one of the easiest situations ever, and you failed horribly. Stop analyzing ever small detail and JUST GO FOR IT.

Title	I'm that SAP on the bus. I'm not subscribed to this subreddit but it keeps getting mentioned in posts and PM's. Thought I'd give it a try.
Author	well_it_looks_like
Upvotes	288
Comments	80
Date	May 26, 2012 7:32 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/u6bni/im_that_sap_on_the_bus_im_not_subscribed_to_this/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/im-that-sap-on-the-bus-im-not-subscribed-to-this.1333214 https://theredarchive.com/post/1333214

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