Advice for a College bound 18 year old guy?

AegisPrime · 2012-07-10T10:06:24+00:00

Real talk: No matter how set you are on getting girls, don't neglect your grades or your attendance.

Personal experience from my first year in college. There is no worse feeling than realizing you pissed the better part of ~$15,000 down the drain.

imseanpatrick · 2012-07-10T10:18:59+00:00

When I was your age I felt like I was truly on the path to becoming a man. I'm nearly 26 now and the truth of the matter is you are really young (hell, people tell me I still am). It's good you play music. If I were you I'd concentrate on three things: getting good grades, being even better at whatever instrument you play, and becoming physically fitter. If you do that with a PASSION then the girls will come by themselves. Trust me, it's all bout passion and you being on YOUR OWN path to self improvement. This brings you confidence. Combine passion and confidence with a tiny bit of cheeky humour and you're good to go.

One more thing though, girls who see you on your path will test you, they will try and get you off your path. All I'm saying is if you have your routine, say 9-5 in class and 5-7 training, don't ever give up any of the things you're doing to please a girl or to go on a date. Tell her, 'sure but maybe after I finish training' or whatever, you know?

policeandthieves · 2012-07-10T15:50:40+00:00

Don't stay in your dorm room / apartment and play video games. Always be out and about and meet people, regardless of gender.

I wish I didn't waste my 1st and 2nd years staying inside and not socializing.

Pugilanthropist · 2012-07-10T17:07:01+00:00

Don't. Give. A. Fuck.

If I could go back in time and talk to 18 year old me before I headed to the wonderful world of Santa Barbara, I would tell him to focus on his studies, take classes he really enjoyed, join organizations that allowed him to utilize his strengths and build for a career doing something he loved, not play so much damn video games and never give a girl more than a second's thought.

College is an amazing place. There are so many opportunities to meet interesting individuals that it will astound you. And that's the key, interesting individuals, not "hot girls." If you view them as "hot girls," then you're going to fetishize them, creating outcome dependency as you try to size up "what's this conversation going to lead to" instead of enjoying the genuine joy of human interaction.

That's going to be self defeating, both because it's a completely robotic manner of socializing, but also because it'll make you nervous, it'll stop you from approaching individuals of the fairer sex. Don't let it.

Just don't give a fuck.

Go talk to people just to talk to people. Say outrageous things just to judge reactions. Do things because you want to do them, not because "that's how you meet girls."

In other words, as I've seen others say here: be awesome. Be a magnet, say "yes" to opportunities, and everything will work out just fine.

jj_ped · 2012-07-10T14:43:38+00:00

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punksfirstbeer · 2012-07-10T15:37:05+00:00

Don't put the pussy on a pedestal.

colourz · 2012-07-10T18:17:16+00:00

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2012-07-10T14:32:38+00:00

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itsmevichet · 2012-07-10T15:59:00+00:00

Grades. Totally true.

Also, find what you really want out of life.

There is no place like college, true. You have resources. You have diversity. You will meet people there that, unless you really try, you will rarely meet when you enter the work-a-day world.

So, find your place in the world while you're there.

I discovered dance while I was in college. It defines my life, now. I also started taking my writing seriously, because I happened to take electives way out of my major (Mech Engineering) and got noticed by some faculty for having a colorful way of saying things (read: dick jokes).

Anyway, I ended up switching majors, and am now, 5 years later, figuring out how to have a life of adventuring and writing about adventuring.

Find yourself. The girls will come and go.

AwkwardAbe · 2012-07-10T13:50:14+00:00

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imalwaysreddy · 2012-07-11T02:11:00+00:00

Join Clubs, Network, Go to Parties and meet people there too. Unless you know exactly what you're looking for in a girl, don't get in a relationship, meet lots of different girls and get to know them. Make friends that are girls, not just to hook up with them, but because girls -good looking to you or not- always have good looking friends, another way to get out there. Don't be too available either. Make your own schedule, do your own thing, hang with the buddies, and spread out your time with the ladies.

Oh and smile, and always have a positive outlook on everything. Helps a lot for me!

Good luck in college dude!

From one college kid to another!

aloeveraone · 2012-07-12T06:11:14+00:00

Take advantage of the gym (look up Starting Strength by Mark Rippetoe) and actually try in your foreign language courses.

librarian666 · 2012-07-10T09:52:38+00:00

I know it's hard to see women as more than a target for sex, you need to be able to look at us like people to get anywhere. Respect is key. We have like this radar for "guys just looking for sex" and you are not going to get it that way.

(and seddit, as cool as they are, unfortunately can encourage a kind of unhelpful thinking)

Just be natural, don't worry about your virginity. Fap if it helps you be less tense and worried about sex, and hang out with women, constantly, in nonsexual situations. We're actually great people to know!

steveish · 2012-07-11T05:04:58+00:00

you're too young, but if you find yourself in a bar, never, never buy introduce yourself to a girl then ask to buy her a drink. it is the biggest mistake guys usually make.

poetryrocksalot · 2012-07-16T08:32:52+00:00

Dorm and join fraternities.

JihadDerp · 2012-07-10T11:57:10+00:00

Play rugby. Be funny.

austingoeshard · 2012-07-10T10:06:36+00:00

I am 18 year old attractive guy as well but going to a local college and staying home. I guess i dont have any more knowledge than you but I can tell you that scoring with girls is all about recognizing an opportunity to fuck and going for it. Sometimes you only get one shot at things, and once it's gone... its gone forever.

jewiger · 2012-07-10T15:43:09+00:00

First off congratulations. Going to college is an amazing opportunity that many people in this world don't get the privilege of experiencing.

For me college was a lot of fun and great learning experiencing, however it was also a massive and sometimes painful adjustment. There are many parties and girls, however mommy and daddy aren't there to take care of you anymore and you'll have to be responsible for getting your own food, dealing with bills, doing homework on you own, etc. That realization hit me a couple of weeks into college and I had somewhat of a panic attack. This might happen to you and it might not, but be aware that this is common and you'll get through it.

My three words of wisdom would be:

1) Study what you are interested in Finding what you are passionate about isn't easy, but studying something you despise because you think it will get you the best job or for because of family pressures is even worse. You could end up in something you totally hate and will fail because you don't have the motivation or passion to push through. If you like Art History then do it! This will eventually lead you to a more fulfilling and successful career than a supposedly acceptable career path or study.

2) Be a Leader No other time in your life will you have the opportunity to learn how to lead than in college. Run for student government, RA, volunteer, manage a student organization, host a radio station, do whatever! These leadership skills will shape how you interact with people and will help you the rest of your life. It gets much harder to learn these things when you are working 40+ hours a week.

3) Join a fraternity I agree with some of the people on this board that joining a fraternity is a great experience. College isn't just about your book education but also about developing your social skills. Fraternities are not only great for parties and meeting girls but also about learning how to interact with people and overcoming any social awkwardness. One caveat is that I would wait at least one semester to do this. I think it is important to get your feet under you first before going through any pledge period, which may or may not involve hazing. Pledging is a great bonding experience, but can be a little much for a wet freshman.

Get ready for a great adventure and good luck!

2012-07-10T16:42:23+00:00

Have fun.

2012-07-10T16:04:40+00:00

If you're avoiding Greek life, you need to be the guy.

First night, gather up some cash from everyone on your floor or whatever and get a senior to buy a keg or something for your residence. You throw the party. Make as many friends as you can, but don't spread yourself thin. ALWAYS be making friends, college game is like 99% social circle at parties.

Ideally, your residence will be a reliable party dorm, and you'll develop a (good) reputation among ladies. If you make enough friends and throw enough parties, you'll be playing "just don't fuck it up" game with girls (i.e. they're DTF as long as you don't do anything stupid).

Most importantly, your grades are the biggest concern in college. If you are struggling at any point, you need to fix it at the expense of anything else you could be doing.

nicklestutor · 2012-07-10T16:00:56+00:00

Part 1

Large city = lots of opportunities off campus

College in large city = lots of opportunities on campus, but dorm life will be less important the more downtown the campus is

Honestly, YOU ARE A MUSICIAN!

Find a community of like minded musicians.

Develop your musical abilities by creating music that you truly love.

Expose yourself to new forms of music. Go to shows and events that have the sort of music you enjoy, and be open to new shows.

Become a more interesting musician.

Part 2

Learn to let yourself loose.

Learn to be more of what you really are, and bring that out to the new groups of people you're interacting with.

Talk to them about what they love, and what they enjoy. Find out what they enjoy.

Part 3 - EXTREME ARTIST CHALLENGE

Indulge in the artist/musician lifestyle.

Experiment.

Avoid addiction.

iceazn187 · 2012-07-10T18:37:47+00:00

Go out and find a cafe or a restaurant that will let you play and maybe make some extra cash. This will give you value and you can invite girls to come see you.

Get good grades (seriously) you can't afford to get a shitty gpa freshman year and lose scholarships or internship opportunities.
never skip class and get to know professors on a personal level. They grade your tests! They can let you slide past the due date
Video Games sparingly or close to none
interact interact interact. Talk to anyone and everyone you don't know. This paves way for invites to parties, night outs and a great social circle.
Staying up late is overrated. Don't do this unnecessarily, it messes up your sleep schedule and ruins your entire day and game. Unless you need to, get a good nights sleep.
Have a sexytime play list, and also have a comfortable atmosphere. Christmas lights make the perfect ambient lighting that just makes miracles happen. Also invest in a good bed topping, tempurpedic or not.

Blackmoxa · 2012-07-10T19:06:15+00:00

Introduce yourself to as many people as possible during the first weeks when everyone is still getting used to the transition. I mean seriously go out of your way to do this, not just people you naturally find yourself around. Fewer cliques or groups will be established and it will be much easier to make new friends. This will get you a strong social foundation to build on later.

Jayizdaman · 2012-07-10T19:46:12+00:00

1st.) Do your school work and do it well. A high GPA and actually learning your shit will go a long way whether it be grad school or a job.

2.) But don't forget to have a good time. That doesn't mean drink a ton or blow coke but that does mean experiment. These experiences will shape you and your life. Cherish them

3.) Be genuine. You're going to meet a bunch of shitty people but you're also going to meet a lot of awesome ones. If you can be true to who you are you will find people that you connect with and are worth spending time with and carrying for.

4.) In terms of seddit in college, just know how to have fun; be active in your community, be active in sports, clubs, etc. It'll be really easy to meet people that way and you will be too focused on being awesome too care about what girls may think about you. You still need to make an effort though, but you're in a point in life where everyone is looking to meet people and that makes it easy.

DirtyPanda · 2012-07-11T00:11:46+00:00

(This is for anyone who is going to college and lives in a dorm)

Go around your building and there will be names on the doors (girls will decorate their names and doors) NO ONE KNOWS ANYONE. so this is a perfect senario to introduce yourself and make new friends, and most importantly meet new girls. Just knock on the door and introduce yourself "Hi, I don't know anyone, let's be friends" or if it's a girl that interests you "Hi, I don't know anyone, I think you're pretty, lets me friends, and by friends I mean more than that." Say it with a smile, the worse that's gonna happen is I already have a boyfriend, or i'm seeing someone, but you will meet everyone and people will know you and you will get invited to events.

Good Luck.

ghostofpicasso · 2012-07-10T16:31:29+00:00

RSDhotseat. It had an amazing impact on my life. Jesus christ... can't recommend it enough.

Title	Advice for a College bound 18 year old guy?
Author	ghostofpicasso
Upvotes	15
Comments	88
Date	July 10, 2012 9:34 AM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/wbk5w/advice_for_a_college_bound_18_year_old_guy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/advice-for-a-college-bound-18-year-old-guy.1335491 https://theredarchive.com/post/1335491

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