What sort of tricks do you guys use to get women to be more comfortable with initiating physical contact with you?

ImJustAMan · 2012-11-14T07:32:44+00:00

Initiate the contact with her. Tap her arm when you tell a joke, guide her with a hand on the small of her back or, if things are going well, push back her hair. She will naturally mirror your touchy behavior if you seem confident, smile and build attraction.

SwissPUA · 2012-11-14T09:10:01+00:00

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DoctorPancake · 2012-11-14T13:42:44+00:00

Drape myself in velvet.

idimmu · 2012-11-14T12:08:30+00:00

This is the second question I've seen in the last couple of days asking about 'tricks'.

If you're approaching this from the mindset that you are 'tricking' a girl in to being comfortable with you then I feel that comes from a place of dishonesty.

You both want to be honestly comfortable with each other, and that won't happen if you feel you're tricking them in some way. There are techniques you can use sure, but never 'tricks'.

The advice everyone has given is spot on, but I'll add another technique, women love guys that lead so when I venue change I'll often grab her hand with a 'Lets go this way!', then make off in the direction intended, this works fine even if, say due to logistics, I haven't managed to touch her in any way before.

themanbat · 2012-11-14T18:41:55+00:00

If you're meeting up for a date, give her a big friendly hug right away. Everybody likes hugs.

When you bring her back to your car, open the door for her, and put your hand on her upper or lower back as a way of gentlemanly ushering her into the car. If the hug happens near your car, you can even lead her by the hand over to it. Opening the door for her is a small easy gesture, and you'll be surprised by how many girls have never had a guy do it for them. It only takes five seconds, makes them feel like a lady, and most importantly gives you an excellent excuse to touch them.

On the date, ask for a booth, and sit next to her instead of across from her. This cuts way down on awkwardness. Sitting across from someone can be very confrontational and make the entire situation feel like a job interview. Sitting next to them makes you feel like friends, and if there's a lull in the conversation you don't have to awkwardly stare at each other. Plus it makes physical contact a ton easier. Lean in and bump shoulders when you make or laugh at jokes. As you talk occasionally let your legs touch. If she doesn't pull her leg away that's a very good sign. If she does, that's no big deal, just get to know her a little more, and try touching your legs together again later and see if her temperature has changed.

If she comments that it's cold out, instead of offering her your coat, share your coat. Open half of your coat like a big batwing and wrap it around her. This gets your arm around her, keeps her warm and is very comforting/cuddly.

Comment on their jewelry and then grab their hand to better examine it. Lightly caress their hand while you look.

If she tells you something semi-serious and sad about herself, reach over and squeeze her hand. Or if it's a self deprecating funny story, you give her the over the top treatment, by taking her hand in both of yours and saying in a snooty accent, "Oh you poor dear. We'll make it through this your time of trial together!"

Secrets are excellent opportunities to touch as well. Say, "Want to hear a secret?" The answer will always be yes, because who doesn't love a good secret? You can just lean in and whisper it in her ear. Better yet, you can gently hook hear hair behind her ear and then cup your hand around her ear for extra secret whispering. Having trouble thinking of fun secrets to share? Make your secret a compliment. Lean in for the "secret" and then say, "You look lovely tonight." "I love your dress." "I really like your nose. Yeah, that's right, I'm way into noses, and yours is perfect." (P.S. I've never known a girl who likes her nose. If you like her nose say so. She'll eat that particular compliment up.)

Ask them over to watch a movie (preferably scary) on the couch (maybe even right after dinner), and jokingly warn them you are a big cuddler. Then when you get them over for the movie, you deliver on the cuddling threat in a big way. Don't sit far away from them and then have to waste time gathering up enough courage to slide over and put the moves on them. Sit right next to them on the couch and put your arm immediately around them as you sit down. You lean against the arm of the couch and she leans up against you. If they have already retreated to the other side of the couch before you sit down, just grab her by the hand and say something like "C'mere teddy bear I need you to protect me from the monsters in this movie." Then pull her over so she's right next to you on the other side. If she still has her shoes on, say, "No shoes on the couch." Then take her shoes, and then yours off. This encourages her to recline, leaning up against you, and increases the chance of some extra intense cuddling as the movie progresses.

The thing to remember here is that most girls actually want you to touch them. Girls are very touchy in general. Look at a group of good girlfriends. They are all over each other. By the end of the first date she should be comfortable with the idea of you being all over her too. If a girl has agreed to a date with you, she at the very least wants a hug. If a girl has agreed to come over to your place and watch a movie she at the very least wants some cuddling on the couch. So make sure you give her what she wants.

squarehouse · 2012-11-14T13:36:33+00:00

"What sort of tricks do you guys use..."

This is why this subreddit catches so much flak from people who accuse of us being creepy and manipulative. We don't teach men 'tricks' to get women in bed. We just teach men how to be men, not how to be manipulative nice guys, but how to be men that express themselves and their attraction to women. All this other stuff like kino, negging, disqualifying is all ancillary in creating a mindset to be comfortable around women. In this way we become the least manipulative and deceitful kind of men out there. We're not nice guys who orbit around women, catering to their every whim and being their emotional tampon while hoping that they'll accidentally have sex with us. Those guys are manipulative, because they feign friendship and eventually they attack the girl for dating any guy that is not them. If we are attracted to you though, we'll let you know.

Stop perceiving interactions between men and women as adversarial.

But to answer your question. I like to look at her nails and compliment them. I just ask to see their nails and grab her hand. Grab a few individual fingers and compliment her manicure or painted nails.

uberafc · 2012-11-14T15:32:21+00:00

In my experience with women it's very important that emotional contact comes before physical contact. I've been on 3 dates with a girl who upfront told me she had issues with people touching her, and being in her space, that she just didn't really "trust" people that much. And, although we didn't get into it, I'm certain it has something to do with past relationships, etc.

Anyway, a few things I've done over the last 3 dates to escalate each time, and rather successfully.

The first date, I didn't touch her - or even get in her space, I made her dinner, and we sat on the opposite ends of the couch to watch a movie. I engaged her in conversation, was always respectful. When the night ended and I walked her to her car, I didn't force an attempt at a kiss, hell, we didn't even hug!
The second date went much like the first one, except we watched the Presidential debate, she sat closer to me, and did light Kino. Grazed her arm, touched her when we were both laughing, made eye contact (Note: This doesn't mean that you stare long and creepily)
- She responded very well, and seemed to be much more comfortable.
On the third, and most recent date, she came over. I again made her dinner (home made pizza!) we bought a puzzle (she mentioned she loved doing puzzles) and started working on it, after a bit, we watched a movie. She was much, much more comfortable with me at this point. The night ended with us on the couch, her laying down with her legs across my lap. And me rubbing her legs gently. We talked for a few hours, and she seemed very happy.
- After the date I walked her to her car. Again, I didn't try to kiss her, or anything. We have a 4th date planned.

The thing that's important to remember is every girl is different but they all are emotional beings. How you approach each unique personality is going to be dependent on the information they convey to you, and you convey to them. Remember 67% of communication is non verbal. What you do with your body, and how you do it, and women pick up on that subconsciously.

TL;DR: Women are emotional beings but raise and lower their comfort level off of physical cues. Match their emotional expression and their physical responses.

DenStoreJungelen · 2012-11-14T10:02:48+00:00

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NETZahualpilli · 2012-11-14T14:45:56+00:00

Took a nice looking and sexy woman for a leisurely cruise on my motorcycle (first time out on a date) and when she didn't know where to hold on I just grabbed her hands and put them on me letting her know it was okay and she took the lead from there. She ended up kissing the back of my neck at random times. If this doesn't work I use the throttle to get women to hold on tightly and squeeze thier boobs for dear life.

youguysgonnamakeout · 2012-11-14T17:20:32+00:00

Assuming I already have rapport and we're talking. I casually change the conversation to a more sexual subject. Then eventually I'll just simply ask "show me how you seduce a guy". It's really fun because obviously she won't seriously try, she'll humorously do so and you two can laugh about it. Then go from there.

superchibisan2 · 2012-11-14T19:10:04+00:00

Stop thinking of it as a trick. Be authentic in your desires and express them. When you feel it, do it, don't hesitate 'cause your ego wonders if it is okay. She will tell you if it is okay or not.

captshady · 2012-11-14T14:39:31+00:00

Once kino is flowing freely, and you're on a date, don't initiate it all the time. Let her. If she's not, then start, and after a few minutes, take it away. Hold her hand after you park your car. Then let go, and say, "There'll be time for that, later, I'm not that kind of guy". It'll make her want it more.

Starkkk · 2012-11-14T14:53:36+00:00

Offer to give her a massage. If shes okay with that you can easily rest your arms on her shoulder and transition to a back hug. By then if she doesnt resist, you have a fish on the hook!

Oblikx · 2012-11-14T15:15:08+00:00

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RP-on-AF1 · 2012-11-14T19:10:04+00:00

Tease her enough and she'll get "violent".

Cynique · 2012-11-14T19:40:00+00:00

I always "take them on an adventure" if it's in a party.

It works every time and they seem to love it (I've had girls say to me that "it had been a long time since anyone made them wander around a party like that" and that "it was really fun").

Just tell them to help you find your friends or the bar or something. This part can be a bit tricky but once you convinced them everything is really easy. Usually, insisting is all that is needed.

Once they said it's okay, take them by the arm or put your arm on their backs. Then it just goes easyyy....

SwissPUA · 2012-11-14T15:15:10+00:00

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Exulted · 2012-11-14T14:10:26+00:00

Magic tricks that involve touching my hands,picking a card, or for me to touch their palms. Nifty things like that work wonders, or learn how to "read" palms and tell her you can tell her fortune. Easy way to hold her hand for a least a minute if your captivating enough.

2012-11-14T16:12:51+00:00

A black eye.

2V-R8 · 2012-11-15T02:18:57+00:00

I whip out my massive dick and helicopter it around while LMFAO plays from the sky. And then I shout "IT'S TIME TO D-D-D-D-DUEL!" before beginning to run at them full speed.

EDIT: Sorry, I misread the question. I thought you were asking what tricks we use to get arrested.

2012-11-14T13:03:03+00:00

Something that worked well for me last weekend was moving the girls bangs off her forehead with one finger and making deep eye contact. Soon after I told her to kiss me 'just to see what it was like' and we were making out soon thereafter.

isiah1979 · 2012-11-14T18:33:26+00:00

My trick is doing nothing at all. I play with her mind and manipulate the conversation to where she turns her self on. I just sit back and respond to everything she says with no lines, just trigger sentences that make her brain go "wow". Fine art of mind foreplay my friend. Plus always help to wear a very inviting scent, since women are turned on by that.

Title	What sort of tricks do you guys use to get women to be more comfortable with initiating physical contact with you?
Author	wji
Upvotes	85
Comments	96
Date	November 14, 2012 7:13 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1366ea/what_sort_of_tricks_do_you_guys_use_to_get_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-sort-of-tricks-do-you-guys-use-to-get-women.1342773 https://theredarchive.com/post/1342773

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