how do i learn to do "party" conversations?

Jorando · 2012-12-20T16:24:18+00:00

"and just saying and doing a bunch of clowny shit that doesn't make sense."

I think your view on these conversations is a bit warped. That's like saying basketball is stupid because you aren't good at it. "Party conversation" can be as simple as asking people how they know the host and talking about the people at the party. Or reading the news a bit and bringing up interesting stories. Hell, you could even bring up any of the various interesting TIL facts from Reddit and probably be fine.

psaluva · 2012-12-20T12:18:21+00:00

Find out what's fun for you. Then bring it to the party. If nothing is fun for you, you need to work on yourself.

skiz1 · 2012-12-20T11:45:22+00:00

To Alcohol! The cause of and solution to all of life's problems.

fashin_throwaway · 2012-12-20T19:38:06+00:00

Start by getting off your high horse. Your mindset of this being below your standards has to go.

I can bet your intellectual conversations aren't interesting whatsoever to me because I've already thought and talked about all of it. But you know what I'd do? Talk to you anyways and have a good conversation.

Conversation is more about the people you're talking to than the topics. This is key.

It also really helps to be happy to do this. Meeting new people when I'm not feeling good is never good

kronehya · 2012-12-20T18:59:29+00:00

Read this and in a month or two you are going to be a fuckin machine at banter http://www.alphamaleplanner.com/Trigger_Banter_Guide.pdf

konestar · 2012-12-20T21:15:11+00:00

Party conversations are the best. Stop hating that's how

konestar · 2012-12-20T21:15:57+00:00

Get drunk

ServingSize · 2012-12-21T08:21:01+00:00

A great conversation while at a party is that time that you got "so drunk" and did xyz. It's a perfect conversation considering you're drinking already. Just make sure it's stupid and funny. Ask her if she has any or her craziest college story.

Myan_Calendar_Maker · 2012-12-20T18:23:51+00:00

You seem like the type of guy that likes to research things that you wish to improve upon. In that case, I recommend finding some threads that discuss how to tell a good story. It doesn't matter what you are talking about as long as you are doing it well and the audience (your peers) are engaged and are listening. There are certain elements of story telling that will drastically improve your conversation skills.

leakproofgrain · 2012-12-21T02:51:12+00:00

Get drunk and meet everyone, you will find someone you have something in common with and can talk about that

User_0 · 2012-12-20T16:19:01+00:00

I do this conversation kind of stuff. Here's my secret. Actually it's the secret behind quite a lot. Seek out amazing experiences.

I've done all of these. Go to concerts. Go to great art museums. See the Grand Canyon. Visit China. Go skydiving. Go to war. See a marathon showing of a movie series. Now you have all these crazy experiences that you can retell.

You can't do it like bragging, let it come up naturally. Someone says they had a strange experience traveling. Reply "Ooh, I visited china once, that was some craziness. Let me tell you..."

bonerfleximus · 2012-12-20T20:08:33+00:00

Let yourself get absorbed by the atmosphere and turn off your brain. If you don't have anything to say then don't force it, but at the same time do not hesitate to blurt out anything that does come to mind. Say something stupid, it doesn't matter and nobody is judging you. If they are then fuck them. You need to let go of control, alcohol definitely helps here.

Edit: It sounds like your problem is a fear of consequences for being an idiot in front of others thus you only allow yourself to engage in "intellectual" conversation. You can't approach this issue only when it's convenient - you need to talk to everyone all the time to make it second nature to tell your brain to shut the fuck up while your mouth does the work. Talk to the lady who rings you up at the grocery store, to your mother, your co-workers, and whoever else you encounter. If you are only doing this when it suits your needs (i.e. only you want to participate in party banter and get involved in the fun) it's never going to click. It has to become part of your nature. Also, its a lot easier to engage in these conversations when you have no goal in mind other than to just have conversation. If you only engage when you have a goal in mind you're going to stumble because you're outcome-oriented. Do it for the sake of doing it, open yourself to people, be honest, and just stop giving a fuck.

imacarpet · 2012-12-21T23:49:18+00:00

Cultivate the mode of consciousness called "having fun".

Getting out of your head and into your body, the present moment and "fun mode" is a thing that can be cultivated. For you, this will take time and effort.

Start doing things that get you out of your head: theatresports and dance might help. Something like latin dance, where you can get into "fun mode" once you've acquired some skill.

Expose yourself to lots of standup comedy.

2012-12-22T14:56:08+00:00

Party conversations are when you learn who's actually interesting because it's the time to tell stories about things you've done. This is where I, admittedly, tend to flop a bit because I haven't really done much story-worthy stuff.

If you really need to, make up some shit beforehand.

renee4 · 2013-03-14T01:09:58+00:00

You seriously should read a book, called: " How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnige. It teaches you the art of conversation. In a nutshell, it's getting involved in others, finding what interest them and asking them questions. People love to talk about themselves and their world. If you can take the focus off what you want to talk about, you may actually learn thing about others and be an engaging person!

nittutt · 2012-12-20T11:47:04+00:00

If you do not enjoy those conversations, why would you want to know how to act like that? Find somewhere where you can be in your right element instead. If you are trying to learn something you don't enjoy for getting girls/making friends, you've got the whole point of game all wrong

Birdman68 · 2012-12-20T19:16:30+00:00

be confident
be cool
be yourself
be alpha
social frame***

Title	how do i learn to do "party" conversations?
Author	thryy
Upvotes	22
Comments	50
Date	December 20, 2012 10:26 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/155ts2/how_do_i_learn_to_do_party_conversations/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-learn-to-do-party-conversations.1344583 https://theredarchive.com/post/1344583

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