15 Texting Mistakes That Stop You From Getting the Date

MGcubed · 2013-11-20T18:22:07+00:00

This is a really good article. It's about time the seduction community moved away from the always call her mentally that is just not how the under 30 crowd works any more. The only thing this article was missing is don't get to know a girl to well over text or else you'll have nothing to talk about on your date, I almost fell into that trap once.

nobody2000 · 2013-11-20T19:02:14+00:00

Asking for a date rather than suggesting

This so much. One reason why the friendzone exists is because of the unsavory position of having to reject someone. If a woman can ease a boy down to the friendzone, she can have her cake and eat it too - having a great "friend" while not having to formally reject him.

And many guys are too afraid to clarify where they stand with a woman. Additionally, it's kind of a dick move to put that pressure on her: "durrrr do you like me?"

When you take charge and suggest using strong language "Hey, let's go bowling tonight" or "Why don't we go grab dinner and see a really great band play?" You're forcing action. Not only are you being very decisive, but you are putting the ball in her court.

She will either go:

"Great! What time?"
"I'm sorry I can't, I have a serious engagement"
"I'm not really interested"

Do you want to know where you stand? This is how. If she's enthusiastic with a positive response, then she's pumped. If she says sorry she can't make it, she's probably not lying, and there's something she has to do (also, it's possible that she's up in the air about you). If she says she's not interested, you need to begin investing time in another girl - you're probably wasting your time with this girl in particular, and maybe pulling away will have her coming back to you...who knows?

puaCurveBall · 2013-11-20T22:44:12+00:00

Really good advice that summarizes a lot of separate theory, and boils it down to a list of practical action items.

Wish more seduction authors could simplify this well.

joshsway · 2013-11-20T16:31:05+00:00

Great article. Saved me the time having to write this!

2013-11-21T00:03:09+00:00

I feel like there needs to be a new rule on replies though. Here is why: We all have our phones in our pockets all day. We feel phantom vibrates. We pull it out to check time and then check Facebook. We all know that the phone is within fingers reach 24 hours a day. So replying in a timely manor is important.

Doesn't have to be 10 minutes or even one hour but some times less than 12 hours is a good start.

I have been in the room with people who check their phone ever minutes and then when I text they say they didn't see it right away. This was from friends. It is a given that they saw it. But... they (WE) don't reply for a day and you can't help but feel a little snubbed. Sure this article was about the early days of flirting and dating but can we not agree that we read into these texts for hours after they are sent. Even when we have defined the relationship.

"Why didn't they text? Did I offend them? Did I say something I oughtn't? Am I boring?" Oh, now I have the anxiety sweats. No. No I don't.

JohnnyFlaunt · 2013-11-21T06:56:58+00:00

Read the correspondence he linked to in that article. It's quite interesting.

Link for you lazy

jimmyayo · 2013-11-20T18:28:55+00:00

Holy crap this is awesome. I think good text game is mostly about not fucking, and this addresses the ways 90% of guys fuck up. Thanks man, love all of your articles. Keep em coming!

hotvision · 2013-11-21T04:05:37+00:00

I can vouch for this article its a good one. Im on the first hot streak ive ever been on and Im talking to like 5-7 girks at once via text, dating 2-3 of them.

Text game is critical. Dont even worry too much about answering too quickly or whatever, or texting too soon -- text when you want. Do avoid the consecutive unaswered, no more than 2-3, and this should be dine rarely.

I always assertively come up with the plan. Girls fucking love this. Also I am always joking around, possibly too much. But you gotta stay focused too, dont get all personal, dont spew details, keep it fun and focused on seeing them again and/or making them smile.

Also, texting 4-5 girls at one time helps :) they can sense that shit. Last note, sparingly use emoticons, but a well placed one can work sometimes, everytime ;)

Didnt work that time. In short, great article. Thanks OP.

hotvision · 2013-11-21T04:11:00+00:00

Also, do you want good text game practice? Join plenty of fish, online dating. Gives you a pool of girls to randomly text and engage. Didnt respond to that statement? Try this. Then try this out. Literally its fun as shit, I do a lot of it just to amuse myself, but its great practice I think.

Aside from the different dynamics of online meet ups vs real person, theres obviously big differences. If nothing else itll get you more comfortable, perhaps even give you the illusion of abundance with women.

dasmev0012 · 2013-11-21T04:51:06+00:00

An extra one would that you don;t have to have the last word. If you're not adding anything and the conversation has ended, and you've set up the date, let it lie and pick it up pre-date

2013-11-21T12:07:27+00:00

Good read. Very helpful.

mpm4 · 2013-11-21T19:02:45+00:00

Pretty solid advice - overthinking coming up with the perfect first date idea is another I'd add. You're still getting to know her, you don't need some elaborate, unique idea to get this girl to go out if she's already given you her number. I'd like to see an article like this for after the first date - anyone?

reigorius · 2014-01-22T08:26:50+00:00

Old post so I suppose this will be overlooked by Nick, but here goes:

Whenever I get a girls phone number, I always quickly push to actually use a phone for what it is meant for, talking to eachother. I find that asking a girl out on a date is much, much easier once you talked to them. This is especially true for online dating, because you become less like a threat and more like a human. Girls screen, and they screen hard. Talking to them on the phone, making them laugh and you become interesting to them.

I'm no superseducer. I'm average in all conceivable ways. I don't have a special voice, in fact, girls complain I mumble too often and my phone is being a dick as well by being bad in voice quality. But yet, once I call, the girls always say yes when I ask them for a date.

Texting is nice, but sometimes it seems to me it is a substitute for real life conversations. Picking up the phone and calling a girl for the first time is nerve-racking, but do it often and it becomes fun. Fun because you beat your anxiety and fun because it's nice to talk to girls.

I use texting to keep the fire glowing in between the phone call and the date.

Balabol · 2013-11-20T18:43:35+00:00

Spot on

Title	15 Texting Mistakes That Stop You From Getting the Date
Author	NickNotas
Upvotes	338
Comments	25
Date	November 20, 2013 3:29 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1r2aga/15_texting_mistakes_that_stop_you_from_getting/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/15-texting-mistakes-that-stop-you-from-getting-the.1361831 https://theredarchive.com/post/1361831

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