I have no problem meeting girls and talking to them, but I have no idea how to cross the "just friends" state and escalate things further romantically.

belgarrion · 2014-12-13T13:06:29+00:00

Kino, physical contact, makes all the difference.

Bigfudge89 · 2014-12-13T09:42:35+00:00

Never allow yourself to be in the "just friends" place always be upfront and forward with your intentions.

SteveDaygame · 2014-12-13T17:21:26+00:00

I'm a full time daygame coach in nyc, so I've helped alot of guys out.. this problem is fairly common with good guys. Everyone is different and every situation unique but my overall guess is that you have a subconscious habit of acting as a friend from the beginning, this is usually from a fear or lack of understanding about how to express your sexual interest. It's easy to say "stop being a bitch" or "just escalate" when you are a guy that already escalates, etc... but that doesn't help the guy out that's still learning. My suggestion is do some honest reflection on your actions in the past when first meeting new women, try to see if you can notice how your actions were perceived as friendly (non sexual) as opposed to teasing her and flirting sexually right from the start. most nice guys are afraid to "mess things up" so they act totally non sexual and friendly.. by doing that you basically put yourself in the friend zone and have zero chance for getting sexual.. you ESTABLISHED yourself as the friend.. its 100% your responsibility there. What's ironic is that by trying so hard not to mess it up, nice guys actually mess it up lol. Guys that get women are confident in their actions and just go for it.. tease her, give compliments, have fun, etc.. you want to be a good mix of everything but bottom line is you need to EXPRESS SEXUAL INTEREST from the very beginning.. this way you establish yourself as a potential MAN in her life, not just a friend.

2014-12-13T09:48:20+00:00

Once you are in just friends state it's difficult to escalate from there, because first impression is already formed.

Idea is to show that you have intention of being more than just friends with the girl that you are talking to.

That intention can be expressed through eye contact, the way you talk (not what you say) and physical contact.

Physical contact is one of the key things that shows you are interested in her and should be established from a very beginning. After physical contact has been established it should be escalated to be more and more sexual and less and less just friends type of touch.

Learning not to overdo it and freak the girl out is like learning to keep the balance on the bike. You can't learn it by reading or hearing about it, or even seeing someone else do it as well as you can by trying it for yourself.

Truongxlong · 2014-12-13T09:47:00+00:00

Show interest in something more. Make it known you're available and ask them to go out with you to places where you guys can have fun and talk casually. It's much better dating someone after you get to know them first you're less likely to face rejection. Most of the time after that first "hangout" you can get a good idea if she's interested or not. If she starts communicating with you differently after the first date then something either went wrong or right. Either way you took a stab at one girl out of many more.

BlaqkJak · 2014-12-13T15:16:37+00:00

You have a lot to learn and practice, but at first stage: "sexually", not "romantically". When you understand the difference, you will understand why you are being thrown in the no-sex zone.

2udaylatif · 2014-12-13T16:25:22+00:00

Flirt, sexualize the conversation, kino escalation ladder. Boom Done.

theCHAMPdotcom · 2014-12-13T13:44:37+00:00

Yeah from my experience...physical contact and compliments do mean a lot.

2014-12-13T13:36:19+00:00

I think you need to have a "sexual" atmosphere around the girl and yourself, and make sure its a "you -> girl" connection, I have seen a girl look more at you in a sexual way when you directly meet her not with the help of you friend or someone. And you need to have a connection with the girl i.e. she needs to think you understand her world.

it could be that you need more help than to get out of the "friend zone" creating that "sexual" atmosphere can require a whole persona, where she needs to "feel" sexual emotions around you. That's why a father of a girl don't like boyfriends that much, he knows they have sex with the girl. But you shouldn't give her that sexual feelings to early it can scare her off and all of that.

Sometimes I think dating and love is delusional because because the girl needs to feel before she is "sure" and you can never truly know someone, in that way you can generate the right emotions in the girl to "move" her to your desired state.

2014-12-13T13:45:45+00:00

Friendship is a dirty word, how do you define friendship ? "Somebody who will be here for you when you are in trouble" i would say. But the real things is : You don't want to go towards a friendship with your target, what you want is complicity !

Complicity is hard for me to define in english, but commonly it's : All the little things that make you remember somebody. Typically, all these little private jokes you'll make together, when she tells you she don't expect herself to tell you. It stays in her mind.

You don't want romance with her, just complicity, because romance is exclusive, you can 't have romance with everybody, so you get to stay focused on your target when you shouldn't.

hnkhfghn6e · 2014-12-13T15:17:02+00:00

1 word. Kino

falafin · 2014-12-13T18:09:01+00:00

escalate sexually

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3Z4Nq0OrrM

SociallyOkwerd · 2014-12-13T13:13:06+00:00

Tease and kino IMO.

StkColeTrain · 2014-12-13T17:53:36+00:00

Be physical with them in flirty ways. Little tickling (don't make it awkward kids) play fighting; girls like to be teased and doesn't like to be the teaser once and while. Just have fun and don't be afraid to look like a fool. Be vulnerable.

BridgetheDivide · 2014-12-13T19:03:08+00:00

Kino and subtle innudendo. Thats how you express intent while remaining interesting.

The_Punned_It · 2014-12-13T19:50:22+00:00

This is a problem that I have too, and the textbook answer is kino escalation and having a sexual tone. I'll be at a party and hold a girl's attention bantering, teasing, yelling jokes and whatever for an hour and get her number. Game over right? The problem is when text her the next week to get coffee or something, my flake ratio is off the charts.

From my reading and experience, I think that if you don't get physical in some way with a girl you meet at a bar or party, the only place you can go is to the friend zone. That's what I'm working on now, I recommend you do the same.

Dgremlin · 2014-12-13T20:23:35+00:00

Have you tried doing things that romantic interests do? Like dates?

kptknuckles · 2014-12-13T20:39:15+00:00

Stop worrying about rejection and just see what happens, its been said a million times here but you have to put yourself out there to get past "gee, he's really nice"

R3cko · 2014-12-13T21:29:10+00:00

Be clear with your intent from the jump. The way you look at her. Approach her. Body positioning. Conversation can be whatever your heart desires as long as you are assertive and not ass kissing. Though, make sure you're still approachable. It takes time. You'll get it.

2014-12-13T21:47:24+00:00

Touch them with your hands

santereality · 2014-12-13T22:25:55+00:00

God damn people just ask them out on a date.

Crusty_Dick · 2014-12-14T07:43:09+00:00

I have a small penis so I can't really escalate anything further either :( I'm scared when they find out..

Chubby_Bunnies · 2014-12-13T17:31:38+00:00

Bxzzzx

newguy57 · 2014-12-14T03:00:45+00:00

Whip it out.

2014-12-13T15:08:38+00:00

Im gonna say this nicely, STOP BEING A BITCH. Your worried about losing their friendship dont you have enough friends. Just mack that bichita you like hahaha

Title	I have no problem meeting girls and talking to them, but I have no idea how to cross the "just friends" state and escalate things further romantically.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	101
Comments	47
Date	December 13, 2014 9:15 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2p5tq9/i_have_no_problem_meeting_girls_and_talking_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-have-no-problem-meeting-girls-and-talking-to.1380853 https://theredarchive.com/post/1380853

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