How to get confident sexually?

2014-12-15T14:18:43+00:00

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TroubleWithTheCurve · 2014-12-15T15:02:01+00:00

Sexual anxiety is cured purely by having more sex. Your post is unclear because you insinuate your experienced in the bedroom by mentioning your previous "long term girlfriends." So, one of two things is going on here:

You're embarrassed about how little sex you've had (silly thing to be embarrassed about)
There's a greater issue here and you're not being clear enough in explaining it.

My guess is it's some variation of #1. The answer again is, have more sex. I used to have terrible sexual anxiety and the one thing I wish I could go back and say to my younger self is, "Dude, sex isn't fucking rocket science. Stick your dick in and thrust." If you're with a girl that actually likes you too, she'll accept your shortcomings and after just a few lays, the technique will come much easier to you.

There are 0 ways to get around sexual anxiety other then to just do it. So, take advantage of your ability to approach and escalate and finish the job because calling yourself a "very confident guy" whose scared of intimacy is really, an oxymoron.

You'll also probably find that as you sleep with a more girl and you both get more comfortable things will get WAY less boring. My girlfriend and I do all different positions, dirty talk (so fucking hot) and fuck in public places all the time. You just gotta man up and take that initial plunge. Good luck bud.

SomeOtherNonsense · 2014-12-15T14:56:18+00:00

Female here. Let me tell ya, it sucks when a guy talks a big game but then is inexperienced and boring in bed. As far as getting more confident, practice makes perfect friend. Fuck buddies are great for that. Get some reading material. I once bought a book all about blow jobs just to work on making my technique better. Practice new techniques and positions, find your kink. I love it when I guy wants to explore every inch of my ample body with his mouth. Just dive in. If sex is a line you can't get past, you're going to have a bad time.

js5678 · 2014-12-15T15:42:10+00:00

Have fun with the ladies. I'm not going to repeat what others have brought up here... Much of what everyone else has mentioned is pretty solid advice. Enjoy them, explore them, tease them, experiment with them; see what works, if she likes it she might give you verbal/nonverbal cues. If she doesn't, she'll definitely let you know. Don't let it bring you down, move on to something else. Every woman is different, try out women in different age groups. I've noticed that older women in their mid 30's tend to be most receptive and fun and open minded. The most important thing to remember is to keep them wanting more. And keep practicing. And remember that NO means NO.

SteveDaygame · 2014-12-15T17:22:20+00:00

Ok 17 is still really young dude.. even if you are a super pimp you prob don't have enough experience in general and that's fine.. you'll get there soon enough. The girl that bit your dick and then did it again after you told her you didn't like it is just weird, thats her fault not yours.. its common sense when someone says they don't like something you don't do it again.

For the anxiety around escalating physically, I would suggest 2 things.. firdt, look into affirmations, they are very powerful positive statements that you write down and read every day and they will program your subconscious mind to develop the new beliefs you want.. so an example could be: "I am comfortable escalating with beautiful women", "Getting physical with women is fun and easy", "Women enjoy being sexual as much as men", etc. And second, look into escalation ladders on google, you will find methods that break escalating into smaller steps, this way there are no "big jumps" that seem awkward, but instead one smooth slow progression and more comfortable for both parties.

Good luck dude!

http://www.nycdaygame.com

Https://www.youtube.com/nycdaygamecoach

SteveDaygame · 2014-12-15T14:13:57+00:00

I'm a little unclear about your situation frim the post.. are you a virgin or you've had sex and didn't enjoy it? What is your age would help too? And also, what is the imaginary line? If you are alone with a cute girl and are thinking escalating will be more boring than watching paint dry.. my only guess is that you masturbate to porn too much and your dopamine receptors are all messed up.. if that's the case (it's pretty common these days actually).. check out Your Brain on Porn on youtube and quit porn all together.

http://www.nycdaygame.com

https://www.youtube.com/nycdaygamecoach

philosarapter · 2014-12-15T17:34:48+00:00

Hm. Well first off, do you find yourself desiring sex with the girl before anything happens? Or are you just 'going through the motions'? Either your issue is physical (low sex drive) or psychological (performance anxiety). You'd be wise to honestly question yourself and find out where it stems from.

If its anxiety, just focus your attention on their pleasure and not yours. Once you get her super horny and see how badly she wants you, the anxiety normally melts away.

Tjamandearl · 2014-12-15T18:07:56+00:00

A German friend said to me that sometimes you just have to 'Genieß es' (enjoy it). Enjoy her body and yours, the sounds, and the sensations sex provides.

Immersion is what makes great sex, when you are so into it that nothing else matters and you become part of each other. That is intense.

Maybe you need more foreplay, maybe you need to be teased before, but I think you just need to find a girl you want so bad that you don't care how she sees you, you just have to have her

TheBadGod · 2014-12-15T19:08:44+00:00

Keep having sex. Have lots of sex with a lot of different kinds of girls.

Once you figure out the type of girl you have good sex with versus the ones you have mediocre or bad sex with, you'll be able to confidently gauge your sexual compatibility on-sight.

Then you'll start having nonstop amazing sex because you won't be guessing whether or not "this one" will be bad.

2014-12-15T19:14:57+00:00

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baguette180 · 2014-12-15T20:04:42+00:00

Someone said you are 17. are you on Adderall or some other ADD medication? That's probably your problem. A potential side effect of adderall is to take the fun out of sex. I bet If you are on Adderall that is the root of your problem.

As far as the dick infection, I think you just need to have sex again to get a better fresh memory of sex.

joshsway · 2014-12-15T20:24:21+00:00

Sex = watching paint dry?? I could see it slowing down with a long term girlfriend, that's normalish, but a one night stand being like watching paint dry? That is not normal at all. Is it just during that you lose interest, or you don't feel you even want to sleep with them in the first place?

SheepKing · 2014-12-15T21:30:29+00:00

rule #1 : dont be afraid of rejection, or to fail.

Just do it until you get confident, it might comes with some fails but should you care?

smegma_enthusiast · 2014-12-16T00:28:16+00:00

One way is to learn how to be more expressive.

At first it will be very awkward to you, but it's going to help in the long run.

The best people at sex are good because they are expressive. Even with a girl you have dated for a long time. "Does this feel good"..."I like that".

Also just watch some videos on how to do things. It doesn't matter how long you "last" when you know how to finger a girl, how to eat a girl out, how to lick their ear, how to pull their hair. After all of that the penetrative sex is the easy part.

Hope this helps. I can find videos if you are interested

superyay · 2014-12-15T15:36:03+00:00

Closet gay? Serious question

masterrod · 2014-12-15T14:50:10+00:00

Usually, I'm a very confident guy, in every aspect of my life.

How? Do you mean courageous?

I think you should just have more sex, and not concern yourself with the outcome. Experiment and explore..

IpickupGrandmothers · 2014-12-15T15:00:46+00:00

Practice makes perfect!

2014-12-15T15:09:24+00:00

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SahinK · 2014-12-15T14:46:34+00:00

Try /r/askseddit

2014-12-15T18:06:02+00:00

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2014-12-15T16:18:43+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	How to get confident sexually?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	53
Comments	78
Date	December 15, 2014 1:28 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2pcvgp/how_to_get_confident_sexually/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-get-confident-sexually.1380959 https://theredarchive.com/post/1380959

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