Is it bad to admit to a girl you haven't had sex in a long time?

A_Suffering_Panda · 2015-02-08T08:58:16+00:00

First of all, there's no need for numbers to be involved in that conversation. She doesnt care about the numbers, she is judging your personality with this topic. But even if you're a virgin you'll be fine if you just own it. People only care about your number if you care about it.

omark12 · 2015-02-08T08:46:45+00:00

Although there's nothing wrong with being honest I don't think you should use your infrequent sex life to prove you're not a player. You shouldn't have to prove anything to her actually. If she's callin you a player and you're not then just do what ya gotta do. Behave like she doesn't know what she's talking about, and she doesn't. Agree and amplify.

Whyver · 2015-02-08T12:21:59+00:00

No. Just say you're really choosy about who you have sex with. She secretly digs that you're a player

DaygameCoach · 2015-02-08T18:57:11+00:00

Yes, bad, TMI. You are failing a shit test. Look up "shit tests." It's on the sidebar somewhere. Or google it.

2015-02-08T15:17:40+00:00

If she thinks you're a player, and you try to convince her otherwise, it will only prove to her that you are a player. You're better off saying something like "and why do you think you're into players?" turn it into a conversation that centres around her.

Throwaway_d · 2015-02-08T16:40:48+00:00

Girls will say on the surface that they don't want a player. But actually what women are attracted to is the traits of the most attractive men, ie men who are successfull and good with women. I've had this happen before - it's actually a good sign.

The correct way to deal with this girl is to show her that you don't really care what her opinion of you is or whether she fucks you or not. And you also have to show you're willing to lose her.

'Ok if you don't want to sleep with me, that's fine. I like you, you like me, but you've obviously got some opinions about men that are getting in the way here. If you think I'm a player fair enough, I can only be myself so I don't know what to do about that. Maybe we'll get close enough to get past this in the future'.

Then pull yourself away, i.e don't contact or see her for a while. You might lose her but it's a risk you have to take.

Do not confirm or deny that you are a player - just show her that you don't care and it's her issue.

masterplan2020 · 2015-02-08T11:03:16+00:00

bad. every single time. unless you're try to scare her away(prolly bad, even then).

lofiharvest · 2015-02-08T21:44:54+00:00

I wouldn't share that information. It comes off a very desperate as it basically translates to 'Please, feel sorry for me. I haven't had sex for so long and I'm so eager to end my dry spell with you'. Women are attracted to confidence not need. A classic move from the nice guy playbook is to try and make the girl feel sorry for you in hopes she will comply. A friend of mine recently got friend-zoned and his response to her ' I just want to be friends' was this desperate verbal diarrhea of 'Whoa is me, why do women only ever see me as friends!? I know you don't feel it now, but Im sure someday there will be sparks, etc etc' It's really pretty sad. Don't be my one friend...

johnnymaddick · 2015-02-08T10:56:13+00:00

Only one answer:

Girls are attracted to alpha-males. Alpha-males have sex all the time. If you don't have sex for long - you are more likely not alpha. This would be her thinking process, maybe subconscious.

Her question or remark is a simple shit-test. And you should treat it as such.

I would say, what kind of player am I? I haven't had sex for a looong time now. (And look at my watch). Like 4 hours. Soo you should be careful.

For example.

Johnny Maddick, The Man, The Legend

blunt_monger · 2015-02-08T23:13:44+00:00

What about the other way around? I'm worried to admit to a guy I like that I haven't had sex in over 8 months...

blunt_monger · 2015-02-08T23:19:04+00:00

In my opinion, if she wants a relationship, she won't care how long it has been since you've had sex. She won't want a guy who sleeps with every girl he wants to sleep with.

If she just wants to have sex no strings attached, she will be looking for a guy who gets all the ladies.

Fingersofsalad · 2015-02-09T01:13:41+00:00

Yes! What's wrong with you? That's what she'll be wondering, it's a shit test, never give a straight answer

gexxx007 · 2015-02-09T20:11:05+00:00

It's better to say that than to say you had it yesterday.

tif2shuz · 2015-02-08T08:59:20+00:00

Actually it makes me feel better to know that. Means they aren't some gross player or something

PowerSeductionWar · 2015-02-08T10:43:55+00:00

Give an illogical response/shrug her off.

If you admit you haven't had sex in a while, she might form a lesser opinion of you.

If you qualify yourself to her by proving you aren't a player to her, she will lose attraction.

The girl: "yay, I win :/"

dodged_that_one · 2015-02-08T23:11:04+00:00

If she thinks you're a player, anything is going to seem like a line.

Best I can think of is "I'm flattered that you think I'm great at attracting women, but you're the only one in my life right now. You know it's the right time to take the next step <pause> or for us to move on. It's your choice <girl's name>."

Apparently saying "it's your choice" increases the probability of a "yes" by something like 20%.

I don't see that fessing up is going to help. Either she believes you and wonders what is wrong with you, or she thinks you're lying and further reduces your opportunity.

I actually quite like /u/johnnymaddick's line

2015-02-09T03:07:10+00:00

It all depends on the type of girl really. I was a virgin until I was 22. I had girls lose interest in me after I told them I was a virgin, and I've had other girls beg to take my V-card.

I guess it depends on how you address it too. I told all of the women who I admitted being a virgin to that it was by choice. I said that I didn't want to just have sex with anyone, I wanted to lose it to a girl who's cool that I have a good connection with, not saying I need commitment if they take my v-card.. I just wanted them to be someone I can hangout with and just shoot the shit, not some random hook up at the bar. I think this will appeal to most women a lot more than "I'm not getting laid cause girls don't wanna fuck me waaaaah waaaah waaah".

IE: Let her know that you haven't had sex in a long time by choice, because you have standards for who you want to engage in sex with.

You'd be surprised, a lot of women will grow a lot of respect for you after telling them this, as long as you're not full of shit and your behavior is congruent with your statement. Sure a few might walk away, but who cares.. Have an abundance mentality.

Don't let some chick's opinion of you scare you off from being honest (if you want to be honest). I haven't had sex now in about a year and a half and have no problem letting someone I'm interested in know that. If they don't like it and decide to walk away, perfect. People should only have sex with people they want to fuck no matter how stupid and shallow the criteria might be.

Title	Is it bad to admit to a girl you haven't had sex in a long time?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	39
Comments	30
Date	February 8, 2015 8:20 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2v6dve/is_it_bad_to_admit_to_a_girl_you_havent_had_sex/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-it-bad-to-admit-to-a-girl-you-havent-had-sex-in.1383589 https://theredarchive.com/post/1383589

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