Should I ask my close friend if he'd be ok with me dating his ex?

Hakametal · 2016-07-09T15:17:22+00:00

[permanently deleted]

vegabond198 · 2016-07-09T15:11:30+00:00

[permanently deleted]

MyConscience · 2016-07-09T15:14:56+00:00

Been there, done that. It's not worth it mate.

shitting_frisbees · 2016-07-09T16:49:32+00:00

I've learned this lesson. do not do it.

markyLEpirate · 2016-07-09T17:14:52+00:00

Nope. My "bro" hangs out with my ex. It's safe to say I don't consider him a bro anymore

jmacauley1 · 2016-07-09T16:03:31+00:00

If that was really your close friend, this entire idea shouldn't even enter your mind.

john_dune · 2016-07-09T15:20:33+00:00

Don't ask him. That would imply you are desiring that. I would suggest saying something like "hey dude, your exy McExerson is trying to date me, what do?" and let him tell you what he thinks. If he's cool with it, he'll say something like "go dick punch her right in the pussy" and if he's not, he'll say something like "if you date her, I'll punch you in the pussy, dick ." then go out for some nachos and beer and maybe some whale watching.

enkae7317 · 2016-07-09T18:30:40+00:00

Ouch dude. This is where that saying of "bros over hoes" comes from. If you date his ex prepare to lose him as a friend. And what if you and said ex doesn't work out? Then you've lost everything.

So unless you've prepared to risk everything I suggest you nope the fuck out of that.

The_Turbinator · 2016-07-09T19:31:55+00:00

Are you really that fucking thirsty?

2016-07-09T20:06:07+00:00

Unless you're in love and think you'll spend the rest of your life with this woman, you should pass.

2016-07-09T22:02:01+00:00

Done it.

It fucked with our relationship. Took 2 years to heal.

Be careful.

Messisfoot · 2016-07-10T02:36:15+00:00

not sure why this is on seduction...

are you having trouble getting with her or something? why are you posting on here?

jamesgfilms · 2016-07-10T03:43:44+00:00

Metro2005 · 2016-07-09T17:32:45+00:00

I wouldnt care and mind so go for it.

nike747 · 2016-07-09T18:03:07+00:00

It is not worth it. There are 3 billion other women as someone else said. Pick a different one.

Overnight_Delivery · 2016-07-09T19:02:33+00:00

2 years ago is a long time. Unless something half particular was between them seems like it COULD be ok, especially if its not serious. It depends on your mindset really. One could easily do a friend's (very) old girlfriend and it be cool.

mrgregorio · 2016-07-09T19:12:17+00:00

Don't be a bad friend. She's trying to get between you! Girls come and go. Plenty to choose from

mtbyea · 2016-07-09T19:16:35+00:00

dont open that can of worms man

cocobandicoot · 2016-07-09T19:37:35+00:00

If you do this, prepare to hurt your friend drastically. I cannot stress this enough: it is not worth losing a friendship over. If you need to explain that to this girl, then do so — but don't do this to him.

Sanitypurged · 2016-07-09T19:54:46+00:00

The main thing that bothers me with all these answers is the lack of interest backstory.

A friend of mine is married to an ex of another friend right now and they all still grab drinks every weekend.

If it was a completely mutual breakup, then I'd say just ask him. If he went through a rough time, or if she spent a lot of time bugging him after they broke up, then I'd back away and avoid the drama.

The_dude_21 · 2016-07-09T21:22:48+00:00

For me it depends entirely on how close your friend is. Personally i've been on both ends. I also had a girl, who i liked and was an ex of my best friend, but eventually i didn't make a move, mainly because i knew my friend had still feelings for her, althought he said he was fine. On the other hand, another friend of mine (not so close) liked a girl i had a thing with. I told him i was ok with him dating her, but after some time i had to spend some time with them, i felt really weird and depressed. Finally, if i were you, i would let it go and move on. You might lose a girl but you will be in peace imo. Good luck with your situation.

tarlack · 2016-07-09T21:44:41+00:00

To many variables, depends on break up and how they interact. Do not even think about it if they are on bad terms. If they are both cool low drama people you could. If this is not your dream girl I would just say pass, it is not worth it.

ArcticCelt · 2016-07-09T21:56:35+00:00

I once got that option the friend in question noticed it without me even bringing it up. He told me to go for it that he didn't care.

I knew that even if he said he didn't care I knew somewhere he would end up caring somehow and was just being a good friend.

So I didn't made the move because I also wanted to be a good friend.

24pg13 · 2016-07-09T22:05:41+00:00

One thing that nobody here seems to be acknowledging is the relationship between your friend and his ex currently. That would honestly be the biggest factor in my opinion.

TurtleMOOO · 2016-07-09T22:24:14+00:00

Don't do it man, it isn't worth it, I've lost too many friends because of similar situations

vbp0001 · 2016-07-09T22:32:52+00:00

If you do it, keep us updated.

NukerX · 2016-07-10T03:14:14+00:00

2 years ago is a long time. A lot of people here are too quick to shout the "bros before hoes" mantra, but the only thing you need to do is be considerate of your friends feelings. Would he even give a shit?

I dont consider EVERY GF ive ever had off-limits to my friends. If it didnt work out then so what, maybe it will for them.

Of course, I live in a small town where the circles are small so theres that.....

edit: want to add that generally the messier the breakup the worst it is to hook up with her.

2016-07-10T12:26:50+00:00

The mere thought of taking my friend's sloppy seconds has always disgusted me. Feels too beta/incestuous.

JackThreeFingered · 2016-07-10T20:15:12+00:00

There are plenty of women out there, why risk a friendship? Even if you ask him and he says it's ok, he may not realize how he feels until you two are together.

Why are you even considering this, man?

This is anything but gentleman/alpha behavior. This lowers the value of your entire social group, if you ask me.

vipernick913 · 2016-07-09T14:38:00+00:00

You said t yourself. If you value your friendship more, then don't pursue her. But if you truly feel like there's something between you guys, then by all means you should ask your friend.

ALetterFromHome · 2016-07-09T18:24:50+00:00

Wait a few months and hit it on the down low. Don't date just smash.

NoGnomeShit · 2016-07-09T17:56:44+00:00

I'd ask first but there's a certain bond with an Eskimo brother that could make your friendship stronger

Aarondhp24 · 2016-07-09T19:23:07+00:00

Op, your friend may have history, but this is not a question of betrayal after they broke up.

I assume everyone involved is an adult. Then everyone needs to act like it. Neither you nor her belongs to your friend. I would draw the line at relatives dating my ex's, but not my friend.

If I broke up with someone that means we no longer are together. I am not so insecure that it would even begin to bother me if a friend of mine dated any one of my ex's.

If you like her and she likes you try it. If it's not that serious and you just don't want to deal with even the risk of drama well then call it off. Honestly a friend who would make a big deal about something like that is probably not worth being around anyways.

meh613 · 2016-07-09T20:04:10+00:00

Inform him once you've decided whether to pursue her. Don't phrase it like a question:

"Hey, $CLOSEFRIEND, your ex is making overtures towards me, and I'm accepting her advances"

Title	Should I ask my close friend if he'd be ok with me dating his ex?
Author	Hakametal
Upvotes	62
Comments	57
Date	July 9, 2016 2:28 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/4s0i8e/should_i_ask_my_close_friend_if_hed_be_ok_with_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/should-i-ask-my-close-friend-if-hed-be-ok-with-me.1409323 https://theredarchive.com/post/1409323

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