What do you talk about in the first 10-15 minutes of a date?

1z1z2x2x3c3c4v4v · 2017-01-30T18:31:26+00:00

As soon as you see her give her a hug. Not a handshake. A hug is more personal, more physical, and sets the tone for more physical escalation later. Plus...no one ever turns down a hug.

Here is a great video from Tripp on what to talk about:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HwBY9spKt8o&t=0s TrippAdvice What to talk about

Here is another in how to ask Open questions. (questions that don't end in a yes, no, maybe, fine, ok, etc)

https://youtu.be/2GtcM_ob1Mw?t=23m55s

The goal is to ask her about her. And to listen to her answers and to try and get more information about that topic. Find something interesting she is holding, wearing, or doing, and ask her to tell you about it. Ask her about her hobbies, or what she does for fun. Not like an interview, more like you are really interested.

The goal is to get to her dreams, goals, and accomplishments. From here you can maybe make an emotional connection with her and find out:

Who she is.

Why she does the things she does.

The "why" is the big part. SO just ask her about her. Girls love to talk about themselves, so it shouldn't be too hard. Listen to her answers...and think about a deeper question, or story you have that can tie it together.

She is also going to be just as nervous...so don't be afraid to bring that up. Tell her you are a little nervous, ask her if she is too? This might lead to some common bonding, and joking about first dates. The goal is to get comfortable with each other, so you can find out if you have more in common.

You also want to physically escalate from the start. Simple, innocent touching is easy and accepted, and expected if you are to take things to the next level.

So when you sit with her, you sit next to her in a booth. You touch her foot with yours. When talking, you touch her arm with you hand, you touch her leg. All of this is simple, innocent, and non-sexual, but required if you expect to kiss her (or more).

Here is a great video on how to initiate the innocent touching:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RLY2yVPh1fo TrippAdvice How to touch for the first time

You will also need to verbally escalate a bit, otherwise known as flirting. Some type of teasing, simple, playful back and forth, is all that is required. If you can tease her, and her her to smile, its a great opportunity to tell her "you like her smile..."

Here is another video from Tripp on Flirting:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jmEcPPJMtH0 Tripp Advice Flirting – Verbally and Physically

As with everything, always maintain good solid eye contact when talking to her. Try to give her all your attention and turn the phone off.

lame questions like "What do you do?" or "Where are you from?"

They are not lame questions, if you build upon the answers she gives you. Maybe you ask her what she does for fun. Or what is the most exciting thing she ever did... but you might need to start with some basic questions to get things moving.

You: "Where are you from?"

Her: "[a small town in] Ohio"

You: So why are you here in [big city]

Her: "I came here for school"

You: "whats your major" BAD BORING QUESTION

You: Oh...so how did it feel to move to a big city from a small town?" MUCH BETTER QUESTION!

Her: "It felt great...I always wanted to get out of my little pow-dunk town...and I wanted to see the world"

You: "Very cool, so what exciting things have you done since you arrived?"

See the difference in asking a "how does it feel [feelings - emotional] types of questions?

So now you learned that she is an outgoing type of person who wants to see the world.
or...you could now know that her major was communications....

Deaner_ · 2017-01-30T19:21:11+00:00

Congratulations on your first date! You're going to be nervous and scared, and that's alright. There's only one way to get better at dating; experience.

First off, I wouldn't worry too much about bringing up boring subjects like "What do you do?" because if you leverage her answers you can use these simple questions to start an interesting conversation. The key is to listen to her response and expand on what she says in a meaningful way.

For example:

You- What do you do?

Her- I'm a waitress at Such&Such (boring response)

You- Oh man, I'll bet you deal with some real characters there. Do you ever have any off the wall customers?

Her- All the time

You- I've heard the craziest stories about the service industry... do you have any?

The point is that you can make any conversation interesting if you express interest. If a girl is being short and giving you uninspiring answers then it is up to you to spin the conversation into something interesting.

She is going to be nervous too, everyone is on first dates (and 2nd, 3rd, 4th...) so help her keep the conversation going. If you are struggling focus on asking a WHAT or WHERE question followed by a WHY or HOW question.

WHAT's your favorite band?

The Jonas Brothers

WHY do you like their music? HOW did you first hear about them?

nobody2000 · 2017-01-31T01:47:53+00:00

15 minutes?

Finish the minor logistic points - where you'll be seated, picking out a bowling ball, all that garbage
Cracking jokes. I'm naturally a funny person, and it's hard for me to turn off. This is a strength of mine, so that's just me. If you have any social strengths, introduce them now.
Topical shit. Humor, current events, anything. Yeah - it's a date, but I just find myself and my date in a much more comfortable situation if we just kind of rant about our environments ahead of the serious shit.
Drink orders. Also - making fun of lame drink orders/praising good ones. My current LTR - she ordered some sort of craft brew that was super good and delicious. I was impressed. I told her. We clicked.

I don't do the Family/Occupation/Desires discussion until much later.

jakdak · 2017-01-31T04:41:14+00:00

Avoid talking about RAPE (Religion, Abortion, Politics, Economics)

Avoid this in general small talk as well.

Scherzkeks · 2017-01-31T05:17:50+00:00

Memes.

Worked for me! Dude on my date is now my husband.

baranomania · 2017-01-31T10:21:09+00:00

I certainly hug her first and then in the first minutes I usually talk briefly about how I got there and maybe tell an interesting/funny/weird thing that happened before coming. It's just for setting up the vibe right in the first impression.

After sorting out logistics, where to sit etc, when I finally sit in front of her, I say...

"So, how was your day?"

She starts telling what she did that day, and it's pretty easy to escalate conversation because she can tell you anything. For example, if she mentions going to school, you can talk about school, ask her major, how does she like it there etc etc.

the_christian_grey · 2017-01-30T18:54:56+00:00

Or better yet, since it's your first date ever, ditch all the fancy PUA advice, since it's likely to make you overanalyze everything, and just focus on being comfortable and having a nice time. Once you get comfortable on dates, then you can start introducing strategy.

davegoldblatt · 2017-01-31T06:38:48+00:00

If you've touched briefly on a topic, and want to get deeper, ask about emotions! Start off by being vulnerable, and letting her know how you feel about something.

And leave space for her to respond, letting her know it's ok if she feels uncomfortable getting too deep :)

Examples:

"Oh, you just moved here. How does moving feel? I know when i first moved to X I felt really Y. (maybe tell a story) " "How are you feeling about z? I know I feel abcd" (cite specific examples as to why you are feeling that way!)

Blablaplop · 2017-01-31T10:55:09+00:00

Just talk if you don't really know what to say. Experience will tell you, but you need to fail a little bit to really understand.

Schhwing · 2017-01-31T11:01:28+00:00

Without getting into a shit ton of bullshit, ask yourself "why am I on this date?". The answer probably is to develop a connection between you and the girl. Hopefully a sexual one, maybe even a long term relationship. So analyse your motivations for being there. Could be plainly sexual, that's ok try and get it there by touching talking about sexually directed things and playfully tease her. You also want to know her and listen to her a little bit so she doesn't think you are just using her. But if she likes you enough she will want you to use her. Think sex first, then relationship maybe.

All in all, you're there to develop attraction. Don't try too hard, be confident and natural. Speak about whatever the f you want to.

FUCK_YEA_GLITTER · 2017-01-31T12:47:44+00:00

If you could be anything in the world, what would it be? Why?
Are you cool? What do you do for fun? (Idea here is to be teasing a little)
Tell me something interesting about yourself. (You can get away with asking this twice to the same person if you add: something I don't already know. Avoid asking twice on the same date tho.)

Some ideas. Anyways. The first 10 to 15 minutes however should be mainly light conversation. Hope this helps a bit even tho I sort of didn't really answer your question. :)

2017-01-31T14:05:46+00:00

Myself.

Merco64 · 2017-01-31T16:54:23+00:00

One thing that might make you feel a little more comfortable is to just know the first thing you're going to say after introductions (which should open with a hug). It could be some casual observation of the surroundings you noticed or maybe some experience you had there before. Just a one sentence thing to relieve that tension, and the topic might go somewhere too.

Little gaps in conversation are going to happen, but the only time it can be awkward is if it's immediately after saying hello.

letsgetrandy · 2017-01-31T18:27:07+00:00

Immediately greet your date warmly, as you would an old friend. Give the impression that you've been looking forward to this all day.

Tell a story about something funny or unusual that happened to you today.

Order a drink. Discuss what looks good on the drink list or menu. Discuss your preferences on gun/bourbon/tequila/beer/etc

Smile.

Make a semi serious remark about how lucky your date is to finally get to meet you.

Avoid interview questions.

MindsEvolve · 2017-02-01T19:22:15+00:00

There's a guide on first dates here if you'd like an extra one in your pocket: http://www.honestattractioncoach.com/

I personally like to have a game ready - more specifically, the cube. It's a great conversational game that has never failed me.

More in depth guide: http://www.getinhermind.com/sure-fire-routines/five-minute-personality-test-the-cube

PM me if you want to talk before the date.

ForeignInUsA · 2017-02-05T23:56:53+00:00

Dude listen on my first dates I read all the shit online and really it was just freaking me out. For the date have a clear plan on pulling. Literally, lead and the girl will like it. Know that since she is there she is already invested and interested in getting to know you, act as if you were meeting a buddy and talking about whatever. Don't be afraid to fucking escalate do it, it comes natural, don't overthink it.

Title	What do you talk about in the first 10-15 minutes of a date?
Author	amanhall
Upvotes	276
Comments	39
Date	January 30, 2017 6:25 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/5r2ipq/what_do_you_talk_about_in_the_first_1015_minutes/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-do-you-talk-about-in-the-first-10-15-minutes.1419460 https://theredarchive.com/post/1419460

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