Approach anxiety. Yes I know…

ChicoBrillo · 2024-03-09T23:42:17+00:00

My mantra: I'm a harmless, social guy who is very friendly and talks to strangers. If people don't want to talk to me that's fine, I don't need them to like me and I'll still wish them well with a smile. Everyone has something interesting to teach me, I just need to find out what it is. I'm out to have fun, I don't take myself that seriously, I can laugh at myself. Im fun loving and chill, most people would like me if they got to know me.

I know that's a lot but that's the kind of frame I try to be in. I try to emphasize that I'm respectful and harmless, only trying to have light hearted fun.

The more you emphasize the stakes, the more serious you take it, the harder and more anxiety youre going to have IMO

SweetJellyHero · 2024-03-10T00:58:41+00:00

I once watched a fake TV show featuring a virgin guy. This guy wanted to get laid so he could show off to his mom and friends that he got laid. Something about this guy rubbed me the wrong way. As he tried talking to women, it was pretty obvious from the way he spoke that they were just means to an end (sex).

I realized that I was doing this too, but less explicitly. I was attached to an outcome when approaching women and people in general (to become friends, get a girlfriend, phone number, sex etc.) Once I stopped having expectations on how things would turn out, it helped me to have more fulfilling connections. When we approach a woman in hopes of them eventually becoming a date, we're no longer thinking about the living breathing person in front of us. We're thinking about the idea of them as a date. My advice is to try to let go of expectations and to just live in the moment. Act as if you may never see this person again. Try to look inward and find any attachments you have or any expectations or ideals or ways things "should" be and let them go

SnooHesitations4922 · 2024-03-10T00:15:17+00:00

You cannot eliminate approach anxiety because it's hardwired into all males.

In the far past getting rejected could get you exiled from the tribe or even executed.

Our DNA is still programmed to prevent these consequences, but this hardwiring no longer applies in modern times.

While you can't get rid of the anxiety, you can disregard it. Same way you disregard laziness if it's time to work or go to the gym. Approach anyway. it's all awkward. steer into the skid. If the girl is interested she will laugh even if you fail to be funny. When the clothes come off it's even more awkward.

DPJKOG · 2024-03-10T04:05:26+00:00

I generally give myself a 7 second rule to just go up and approach after making eye contact with a smile, honestly those two indicators is enough for me to know that they’re curious as well. Just have fun and don’t have any expectations, the chase is always the best part.

Mysterious_Pickle_78 · 2024-03-10T09:07:21+00:00

AA will never go away.

Just approach quickly and spontaneously and say "Hi". The more you wait the more it becomes uncomfortable.

EP_CJ · 2024-03-10T16:55:28+00:00

I did a whole post on strategies for AA about a week ago, check it out. Might find something useful in there https://enhancedplayer.com/index.php/category/dating-relationships/approach-anxiety/

epimpstyle · 2024-03-10T17:18:20+00:00

Would you have AA if you knew how to approach a girl and what to say to her?

Traditional-Mix1643 · 2024-03-10T18:11:36+00:00

Once I gave my buddy 60$ and said keep it if I don’t approach at least 10 women

Title	Approach anxiety. Yes I know…
Author	Onzalimey
Upvotes	2
Comments	25
Date	March 9, 2024 11:12 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1bav5e6/approach_anxiety_yes_i_know/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/approach-anxiety-yes-i-know.1427204 https://theredarchive.com/post/1427204

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