Having trouble going from the funny guy to a serious sexual option

t1mman · 2018-04-05T20:09:04+00:00

Sex is not meant to be serious, dating is not meant to be serious, heck, life is not meant to be that serious. Don't suck the fun out of this!

Chill, relax, escalate and explore (but not without her consent!)

ethical_pa · 2018-04-05T22:23:04+00:00

Most of the answers here mention escalation. I agree. In your situation, because you are a funny guy and make girls laugh, you have a HUGE advantage.

A good way to think about it is that making a girl laugh is pretty much an emotional spike. A great way to escalate is on emotional spikes. So try this:

After you make her laugh, touch her on the arm. Next time, do it again. Maybe on the shoulder or lower back. Keep using emotional spikes to escalate. Try a high five, then hold her hand for a bit. Try a hug or the classic high five to hug. If you get a firm negative reaction, don't say anything and wait a while (5 mins say) and try again. You'll be surprised at how far you will get. Trust me.

My personal escalation/touching "hierarchy" is the following (not set in stone of course):

arms, upper back
lower back, hands, knees
hair, face, thighs, kissing
ass, tits, fucking

ghlibisk · 2018-04-05T22:33:14+00:00

There is a difference between being funny and being a "clown". A clown is funny for the sake of amusing others; you should be funny for the sake of amusing yourself. A clown willingly jettisons his own self respect for a laugh; your self respect should be unquestionable. No girl is going to kiss or have sex with you if they don't respect you, and no one will respect you if you don't respect yourself.

EZ-Pizza · 2018-04-06T02:15:19+00:00

I’m seeing a lot of replies that suggest physical escalation, which I think is good advice for someone like you, but I think everyone is glossing over the fact that you’re still in high school.

“Why does that matter?” you might be asking.. well, idk how it is now, but when I was in high school, kids were “labeled” or belonged to a certain clique for the most part. Theater kids, football jocks, band nerds, etc. Think about it, there’s probably someone at your school with a nickname like RollerBackpack Randy or someone that you only know about because someone told you a story about them, and every time you see or hear about them, you just automatically connect that stereotype to them even though you’ve never actually met them. Even if your the nicest, most compassionate person, you probably can’t help stereotyping that person subconsciously because it’s something humans do naturally.

My point is: just be careful if you’re going to attempt physical escalation with girls at your school. The last thing you want is to be labeled Creepy Touchy Guy for the rest of high school because you escalated a bit too fast. With the exception of middle schoolers, high schoolers are probably the least forgiving people on the planet. I’m not trying to fear monger you about picking up girls at school, I’m just warning you cause I kinda fell into a label in high school. Another person in this thread mentioned being a funny guy instead of a “clown” and that’s exactly what I was: a clown. I would let my friends pick on me cause I’m pretty non-confrontational, girls would notice this and feel bad for me, and by the time I was a junior there was no way anyone of them would talk to me because they knew hardly anyone respected me in a serious manner.

My advice would be to make your attraction to a girl obvious when you first meet her. In the book Attraction Formula, Paul Janka talks about how girls put guys into “bins”, or categories, after their first impression of them; friend, classmate, coworker, funny guy, creepy guy, etc. Once you’re in one of her bins, it’s really really hard to move to a different one. First impressions are everything, right? So when you’re meeting a girl, or talking to a girl you’ve never met before and you find her attractive, just let her know. Obviously, this much easier said than done, but you’ll end up wasting a lot less time. Probably the easiest way to do this would be through compliments. I’d list some examples but this comment is already way longer than I intended haha.

Worst case scenario: she’s flattered (girls love attention and compliments) but doesn’t reciprocate attraction toward you. And no one is going to label you as “That Guy Who Said Taylor Was Cute One Time.” Hopefully this can help girls see you in a different light, instead of just throwing you into the “funny guy” bin every time.

Magicmatt352 · 2018-04-06T00:46:33+00:00

Don’t worry about the sex yet, just have fun.

BaconMeTimbers · 2018-04-06T00:30:11+00:00

Quit jerking off. You'll literally drip with sex appeal after awhile

pstlvee · 2018-04-06T00:03:40+00:00

If the time is right, it never hurts to make an innudendo about something and throw in a slightly more suggestive comment, especially if you lower your voice slightly.

Also, just casual touching. E.g when you walk past a girl you know, poke her (not aggressively haha) and say hi or try and throw in a high five somewhere. It's subtle but makes all the difference.

Just make her feel like she's special and you're giving her extra attention.

Danjoe4 · 2018-04-08T04:10:58+00:00

I'm basically you except a year older. Crack some jokes during sex. Dirty/flirty jokes that create sexual tension will often work in your favor.

-refer to messy hair as thigh ticklers

I'm sure plenty of people can offer you more material.

authenticsociallife · 2018-04-05T21:56:07+00:00

At a certain point in the conversation you have to change your methodology. Lower your voice, ask questions, make comments about her preferences, stand closer, touch more, then kiss.

You can't be the comedian the whole time as it'll get draining from you. Also, if you go direct from the beginning she'll know you're interested and then you can joke with her to a degree while she still knows your intent.

Zoidberg22 · 2018-04-06T01:09:37+00:00

I have issues with this too as a 20 year old

acquired_ · 2018-04-06T01:45:43+00:00

Humor releases tension

You need tension for passionate kisses. You must become comfortable with tension, and create it

Dakota_Bryant · 2018-04-09T15:33:26+00:00

Keep being funny even with the flirting. Use cheesy pick up lines.

I'm 17 and my ex would always do this. It wasn't super sexy, but it let me know he was interested. Just make sure whoever you use this on has a good/silly sense of humor.

Then when you get to the point of actually having sex just be yourself. Tell her its your first time. Take it slow, give her compliments, and show appreciation to everything that happens. You don't have to be serious. You just gotta be nice.

vztekly · 2018-04-05T19:08:17+00:00

Have same problem, but im 14

x64L · 2018-04-05T20:46:17+00:00

Physical escalation. It is difficult to do right, I am not the best at it either, but once you learn physical escalation you'll have a fuck ton of power on your hands.
Another problem that may arise from you being funny all the time is that girls (and guys too) don't see you as someone who can be serious at all.
My suggestion is that yyou talk every now and then about something that interests you, preferably controversial, and have a little debate about it.
Let me give you an example:
Jordan Peterson, a clinical psychologist, said in an interview that he thinks women who wear make-up to work and don't want to be raped are somewhat hypocrit. What do you think? Why would you agree or disagree? Try to think in the most morally independent way you can, and when you have a debate with someone try to keep an open mind.
Be well read (be it news or things that interest you that you read), and you won't have a difficult time expressing yourself.

ScoopJr · 2018-04-05T19:18:48+00:00

What are you looking for exactly?

RomanDad · 2018-04-06T00:27:02+00:00

There are no lack of jokes about sex.

Oh_Debussy · 2018-04-06T02:05:45+00:00

Try this https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/8a53ul/how_to_challenge_girls_to_kiss_you_huge_succes/?utm_source=reddit-android

SpaceS4t4n · 2018-04-06T03:52:37+00:00

Know when to not make a comment and let silence do some of the work for you.

Brostory_com · 2018-04-06T12:50:57+00:00

Be funny but also be sexual.

yoproldn · 2018-04-06T13:50:23+00:00

I was like you at that age. You aren't showing enough intent. She has to know you want her and aren't just her funny friend.

africanpyjamas69 · 2018-04-05T20:34:19+00:00

be flirty, and masculine

Title	Having trouble going from the funny guy to a serious sexual option
Author	meltedmicrowave
Upvotes	111
Comments	53
Date	April 5, 2018 6:53 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/8a2f4r/having_trouble_going_from_the_funny_guy_to_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/having-trouble-going-from-the-funny-guy-to-a.1444336 https://theredarchive.com/post/1444336

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