So a girl tried to put me in the friend zone yesterday…

cliffwolff · 2020-03-08T17:54:39+00:00

Funny how that works, isn't?

A true friendship won't work unless both are on the same page. You're not obligated to settle for less than what you want any more she is.

Strange how suddenly some become interested later on, but by then, it really is too late. Once a girl shows she's not interested at first then becomes interested later (after I move on), who's to say she won't suddenly become "disinterested" again later for whatever reason?

I'd rather a girl stick to her guns and never be interested, then to be interested when it's too late to be and I literally no longer care.

But it's exactly this energy that makes them attracted to a guy in the first place.

Ah well.

Humpzelot · 2020-03-08T17:42:19+00:00

Good move. Now follow through and move on. Fuck one of her friends.

strandedintime · 2020-03-08T21:21:05+00:00

Seems odd saying that. Why can't just be friends and then date people who actually want to be with you? Being friends with her could actually lead to meeting other girls. I never understood the fear of the friend zone.

Chanceuse17 · 2020-03-08T21:32:26+00:00

Sounds like you were wounded from her first rejection & haven't really gotten over it. You said you threw her friend suggestion back in her face but clearly you're still checking for her because you 'couldn't help but notice' she was looking your way throughout the night. It's ok to not want friendship with someone whom you want in a different way thus making it difficult for you to see past sexual desire for them. In the meantime perhaps give yourself more time to move on & when that happens you won't have to go tit for tat because you truly won't care or give it this much thought anymore.

Logic_Fellatio · 2020-03-08T17:59:12+00:00

She seemed to be trying to figure out how you value yourself. If you agree to it, then she knows you're low value and feels validated for having "called" your low value and be seen as the chick who bangs low value dudes. What you did was perfect, because you invalidated her assumption, which fazed her, and she was trying to figure out what she got wrong about her gut feeling of her attraction to you. She probably felt dumb and like damn, I missed a high value guy. She was still trying to figure out your value by watching you. She was also probably jealous of the others around you in the high state you probably had after this and "calling her out" on her bad judgement. Wtg!

poseidons_other_son · 2020-03-08T21:18:11+00:00

I can never tell if you guys are douchebags or geniuses...

Upvoted anyway

JaraCimrman · 2020-03-08T22:36:40+00:00

Joke is on you, you put yourself in the friendzone. She said it to your face only because you needed a vocal reminder to ease off/stop pursuing her so much.

Now you just looked like a dickhead instead of being on top of it. You cant be petty with girls, be fun, lighthearted, playful at all times and you will get your girls...

LiftingJourney · 2020-03-08T20:49:59+00:00

What's so wrong about being friends though? If you like her as a person you can still be mates even if you aren't romantically linked. Why is the separation necessary?

Anti-Satan · 2020-03-08T22:09:21+00:00

I feel like a discussion about 'the friend zone' is necessary here.

Girls face two problems when it comes to forming platonic relationships with guys: Many guys will take being friendly or interested in them as the same as being sexually interested in them and will then self-destruct themselves and take the friendship with them. Others will intentionally lie about their motives and enter into a friendship without ever to be a friend.

The two are the vast majority of friend-zone situations, especially where the girl gives a speech like she gave OP. It's not some kind of power move to force OP into becoming a submissive cuck, it's them trying to keep guys from interpreting her being a friend as her making moves and then throwing a fit when they turn out to be wrong. A girl might even give a speech like they without meaning to become friends. Simply because you are a part of her social network and does not want you to spread negativity about her if she says she has no interest in you.

There are of course outliers like girls trying to keep you on the bench while she shops around. Those are easy to spot. Those girls do not want you to go after girls while she's going after guys. If she tries to cockblock you and also not put out, then you've got yourself this situation. Otherwise, probably not.

So what should you do in that situation? Well this is one of those cases where it is based on your experience level and your personality/gaming type.

I would recommend something in the spirit of 'alright, but I think you're cute and that's not going to change so I would totally be up for something if you change your mind.' you follow that up with being awesome and still showing interest (while also chasing other girls) and you might still get her. If not, well you now have a pretty friend that is hopefully interesting. That's a plus in my book.

It is perfectly acceptable to do what OP did and move on. Personally I feel like it doesn't signal abundance and is too angry a response, but that's it's own way in game. I would also recommend that kind of response if you aren't very experienced. It is easy to go into a relationship like that and then develop feelings if you aren't very active and having some success, even if you do everything right.

You can also answer yes to the friendship and simply gain a female friend. Those are great for a lot of different reasons and should be something you should be cultivating Esther than turning away. But again I wouldn't recommend that for novices for the reason above. It is also very dangerous in that you are entirely blocked from making a move. Almost always making a move after telling her you'll be friends will do nothing but destroy the relationship. Unfortunately I speak from experience there. I misread signals, listened to bad advice and then ruined a friendship. Not only did that cost me my friendship with that girl, but she was consistently bringing around 5 hot girls (hot girls flock together) to my parties and now those were gone as well.

I'd love to hear what other guys would recommend doing in that situation and the reason behind it.

dryo · 2020-03-08T22:16:58+00:00

I'm gonna bring up dickonomics book here, there's nothing wrong with having girls to talk to at a house party or whatever, this is and has been a numbers game, nobody ever reinvents it you can't force anyone to like you, it's all on you, wether or not you got to date her, your personality didn't match, as simple as that, not giving a fuck is a trait that most people with confidence has a permament jewel, there are aaaaaalot of hot girls out there, so gather yourself with enough Female friends and your social worth will be that, worth something then you leverage on that, you don't have to be an asshole, you just gotta have the right mindset and good vibes and evreything will come to you, as simple as that.

lilyhbie · 2020-03-08T23:16:39+00:00

I had a dude do the exact same thing to me recently so I was like fuck it. I’m not here for wishywashy people!

dayton8399 · 2020-03-08T23:33:28+00:00

I've got a crisp dollar bill in my pocket that says she's going to start talking to you about things other than friendship.

Women will never admit this, but they love it when people put down their bullshit and tell them how it is in such a straightforward fashion when it comes to situations like this. They love it and they know, somewhere in their brains, that they need it. They just don't like it.

Well played, guy. But for real, lots of people have been saying to get with her friends, and that's wonderful advice.

alexdiezg · 2020-03-08T20:03:48+00:00

I wish I saw this post 4 days ago, because then I would've learned what I should've done 3 days ago when I was in a similar situation as you, OP.

ddredden · 2020-03-08T20:00:05+00:00

Good man. Male people: do this (minus letting them lecture you or what-have-you)

justmeOKD · 2020-03-08T20:26:49+00:00

Damn right . Confidence is everything

Idabfordayz · 2020-03-08T19:12:44+00:00

Good on you, now go find a hotter girl to be with.

amway5 · 2020-03-08T23:33:13+00:00

“Tried” to put you in the friend zone???? She did and straight up told you. You’re the one reading more into it And not willing to accept it.

2020-03-08T22:18:26+00:00

Good on you. You know your own self worth. That in fact, is a quality of a high value person.

DajuanKev · 2020-03-08T19:42:25+00:00

I'mma learn from this, bruh.

blatherskiters · 2020-03-08T23:21:55+00:00

That sounds like something I would say. Guys who play the friend card in hopes of it becoming something more sicken me.

aliengirlie · 2020-03-08T23:38:51+00:00

From your comments in this thread, you refuse to be friends with girls you are romantically interested in because they give "nothing in return" for your friendship (except that she is giving you HER friendship in return). If this is how you plan on going through life viewing women, you are going to be lonely and miserable for a long time.

P.S just because she was looking at you, doesn't mean she suddenly wants your dick. I regularly keep tabs on guys I have rejected to make sure they are staying far away from me.

ProductivityMonster · 2020-03-09T00:07:09+00:00

There's lots of pretty, smart, charming girls out there. If they don't reciprocate and want to be in a relationship with you, who the hell cares about their attractiveness? I agree - don't waste your emotional energy being "friends" with someone who you really want to date.

ithinkoutloudtoo · 2020-03-08T20:36:22+00:00

If she isn’t around when you are interested, then you aren’t around when she is interested. It’s all about timing.

ForeignFlash · 2020-03-08T20:54:57+00:00

Sounds like she wants you on the back burner just in case.

kubistonek · 2020-03-08T21:19:06+00:00

because you just said cringeee xdd

sledge54321 · 2020-03-08T23:02:57+00:00

Deleted.

So a girl tried to put me in the friend zone yesterday…

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Title	So a girl tried to put me in the friend zone yesterday…
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	485
Comments	106
Date	March 8, 2020 5:40 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/fffxu7/so_a_girl_tried_to_put_me_in_the_friend_zone/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/so-a-girl-tried-to-put-me-in-the-friend-zone.1492046 https://theredarchive.com/post/1492046