What if a girl reachs out but then doesn't actively partecipate to the convo?

user12345678654 · 2020-05-15T09:51:19+00:00

Either she just wants attention or she wants you to come up with plans to get together.

If she's texting you, shes thinking about you. Shes leaving the convo on your end because your not taking the hint.

Try it. If she texts you out of the blue again, invite her to join you in whatever. If she declines but doesn't try to reschedule. She was just looking for attention.

rwtf2008 · 2020-05-15T12:02:32+00:00

Either she sucks at texting (some people are just horrible with texting and better at communicating in person) or she’s kicking your tires.

Typically when a woman reaches out it’s a good thing and shows she’s interested but if the conversation keeps dying then why bother? If she’s more communicative face to face then up to you if you can handle it.

Next time set a Skype/FaceTime date if you can’t meet up in person for an actual date.

jmaman · 2020-05-15T15:15:59+00:00

You answered your own question in the comments. Not all women are bitches. If you're experienced, and your gut is telling you she's just a bad texter, trust yourself. Being a dick will backfire if she's not doing it on purpose.

streetsmartsocials · 2020-05-15T17:00:04+00:00

Probably you should just take the fact that she is reaching out as a big IOI. But that does not mean you should leave the conversation up to her. NEVER LEAVE THE JOB OF LEADING A CONVERSATION TO THE GIRL. That is my personal opinion anyways.

With that said, you probably made one of the two following mistakes:

1: The girl who texted you asked you a question or found a random topic to reach out, and instead of taking the hint that she wants to talk, you went deep on the question/topic she proposed. The right move there was to start leading the conversation. Unless it was actually a great topic you and the girl genuinely wanted to talk about.

2: You did follow your heart (as cheesy as it sounds formulated that way) as to what you wanted to talk about in the conversation. In which case, you probably fell in interview mode, asking boring questions both of you did not want to talk about.

Both those points lead to the same lesson, which I would recommend you try out just for practice and experience: Be at the cause, not the effect of your world. -- Know what you want to talk about, where you want to lead the interaction, and go in that direction. SERIOUSLY. That way you will automatically be leading and you will never find the interaction boring because you are talking about what you want to be talking about. And if you are leading the interaction in a direction you enjoy, chances are it will be fun and flirty for the girl too.

This is something you should try for yourself, and it is a very vague concept, so you might not resonate with it. It is not a technique really. But if you want to be attractive by being yourself and attract people whom you have chemistry with, it's the way to go.

*** Everything is a paradox. Yes I said you should never leave the job of leading to a girl, but that does not mean you can't do "vacuums" and let the girl invest and come up with things to say at some points. Of course you can, that is just being normal.

continous_confusion · 2020-05-15T15:53:49+00:00

Participating in convo means she's into you , if she isn't participating she isn't , as simple as that. If she reached out to you maybe it was something that attracted her but now that's moot.

33jeremy · 2020-05-15T17:11:50+00:00

She either just wants attention or is playing hard to get or her interest is low. Whatever it is she’s disqualified herself. We’re all grown ups and I don’t know about you but I’m tired of these games. Guys know your worth and stick to your principles.

Umbran_scale · 2020-05-15T17:41:22+00:00

At one point I thought that women initiating the conversation would solve a lot of problems, but after seeing the lack of effort they make in maintaining that conversation even after initiating on the likes of bumble...

If all she's making you do is carry the conversations she starts, then she's clearly just bored and wanting you to entertain her.

lolking9191 · 2020-05-15T14:55:43+00:00

She’s wasting time

YowanDuLac · 2020-05-15T15:59:30+00:00

As soon as you notice that she is not answering back, simply close the convo in a funny, unexpected way ( a joke or a funny photo).

BlindTheThief15 · 2020-05-15T16:44:37+00:00

Always assume that if a girl reaches out to you of the blue, she wants to spend time with you. Ask her out. If she says no, then she was just bored or wanted attention.

Peear75 · 2020-05-15T18:14:54+00:00

Make her work for it. If she doesn't then forget it. If she's boring now imagine being married to her.

tortilladelpeligro · 2020-05-15T19:44:25+00:00

I've had this happen a few times, what I've gathered so far is they're typically either a follower (more comfortable letting others lead), they're insecure (believe they aren't interesting/have much to offer), or are self-focussed people (they don't realize they're communicating disinterest, likely because they're satisfied with the level of interaction). Just my 2 cents of personal deduction so far.

My advice (from putting up with a lackadaisical person for waaaay too long) is communication style is important, it's ok to not persue someone because their habits aren't compatible with yours. It's not rejection, it's respectful and mature to not lead someone on (or pity them).

notcrazy_justtired · 2020-05-15T23:18:21+00:00

A girl who likes you and is interested in you won’t confuse you bro

igotmojo4uall · 2020-05-15T14:43:27+00:00

she could be busy dude. or she might not be that interested. always give it a couple days and reach back out. then you’ll have more info to base a decision on

xfyre101 · 2020-05-15T15:08:10+00:00

you just have to tell her... [Girl..stopp plaayin games with muh heart! oohhh oh](https://youtu.be/Ug88HO2mg44?t=55)

selfishnun · 2020-05-15T16:06:19+00:00

You’re in a good spot. Merge the conversation into plans.

whittyninja · 2020-05-15T16:25:21+00:00

Something similar that I’ve had happen someone’s been interested we’ve gone out 5 times. And now it seems that she blocks ideas for plans I have to Hangout but suggests ideas for future dates but never goes through with the half put together plans,

Ps don’t know if this helps or not but good luck

bobtheseal · 2020-05-15T16:50:25+00:00

shes doing this to another 10 blokes...

stainlessflamingo · 2020-05-15T18:20:06+00:00

Some people just aren't the type to get into long texting conversations. If you think she's interested see if she wants to facetime/video chat. If it still feels dry after that, it may be time to move on.

BlankImagination · 2020-05-15T19:14:13+00:00

Facetiming is great. Honestly.

sammyrae90 · 2020-05-15T19:31:32+00:00

Some girls are better at being talkative, flirtatious, and engaging when they are ACTUALLY talking to someone. If you genuinely want to talk to this person ask if you could call her, or face time with her. If she says no, then it sounds like she isn't your type. Hope this helps!

KickedInTheDonuts · 2020-05-15T20:00:46+00:00

She's got you on her hook

PopeIzalith · 2020-05-15T20:38:40+00:00

Whenever she reaches out, send 1-3 texts max then ask her out. Text convos are not great, you should be working to get some face to face convo because that’s where attraction is easiest. If she can’t see you due to COVID, offer a FaceTime date.

2020-05-15T22:47:00+00:00

Attention whores gon beg for attention.

itsbennybitchhh · 2020-05-15T23:10:03+00:00

My ex boyfriend is like this. He’s super introverted and can’t hold a conversation via text or in real life. I would always send long messages or ask him questions to try to keep the convo going via text, and he would reply with only a few words and I’d get frustrated and not reply back. Then 30 minutes later he would text again “so how was your day” or “talk to me”, etc. We were on and off for three years. If you guys had good chemistry when you were in person then I’d think she just doesn’t like texting. The next time she gives you short answers say “would it be better if we talked on the phone?” and see what her response is. If you guys end up going on more dates and her communication with you doesn’t improve to your liking, you could talk to her about it or just move on. It’s much easier to find someone who you feel content communicating with rather than trying to change the communication style of a current partner.

youngkurd420 · 2020-05-15T23:37:47+00:00

Send her a dick pic

ggh175 · 2020-05-16T01:21:31+00:00

well my crush may be thinking the same as OP

the problem is im so nervous i just dont know what to write, i need to overthink every single word, its terrible

i feel like if he'd write to me i would get rid of that feeling and the conversation would go on naturally

cacknibbler · 2020-05-16T02:32:47+00:00

She might be interested and just a really bad texted

jazzy3113 · 2020-05-16T16:01:34+00:00

She’s just bored and looking to pass the time. I did this all the time when talking to / dating several chicks at once.

The girls who respected themselves would stop responding to me.

The ones like you who were interested or desperate would always respond to me.

NachosPR · 2020-05-15T14:56:09+00:00

If you can't meet because you live far from each other, you could just call her out on her lack of responsiveness. I don't know what the tone of her responses are, but if they're dry feel free to let her know "Hey, you don't really seem interested in talking." That's worked for me when talking to girls who weren't putting much effort into the conversation

Play-Mation · 2020-05-15T15:12:27+00:00

When the conversation turns to you interviewing her and her giving one word responses she is not interested take the hint

Brochaho · 2020-05-16T01:21:04+00:00

Just ask her to hang

7Saturn7Saturn7 · 2020-05-16T10:20:50+00:00

If you are live texting and you are the one who stops, unless you're actually busy you're making a mistake.

Measure her interest in terms of presence and compliance. For every interaction with a woman push compliance until she ejects from the interaction or you (or her) have a logistical necessity to eject or you got everything you wanted from her compliance. Ejecting for no good reason sends the message that you are boring, or scared to pursue, or not interested in her.

So in this specific example if you are live texting then test her compliance by flirting, or going to a video chat, or making plans to meet. If she doesn't comply then just go back to texting and try again until she does. Then from there you got what you wanted or test again for sexting or whatever.

So at the end of the interaction you got what you wanted or she ejected. If she ejects don't freak and multi text or whatever. Since you have good rapport with this girl her ejecting from the interaction isn't bad since now she knows what compliance you want and when she comes back again (she most likely will) she'll be more willing to go along.

The big take away is never eject from an interaction, no matter how small, for emotional reasons. The exception of course is if you're just turned off and don't like the girl anymore.

2020-05-15T15:21:30+00:00

That means she has no personality even worth getting to know. I hate when people think texting is a one-way street. If they don’t want to actively contribute to the conversation then don’t even bother. That’s a reflection of her communication skills which are most likely sub-par.

Wander1900 · 2020-05-15T16:45:04+00:00

She is boring. Ghost her.

LeFlyingMonke · 2020-05-15T12:18:27+00:00

it takes supreme mental effort. there is no short cuts. you say it gets boring right? to me youre saying SHES boring. stop going through the motions of having a conversation and actually have a conversation. get to know her. if its boring you aint trying hard enough.

ChadWPotter · 2020-05-15T16:18:28+00:00

Around what time does she usually send these texts?

tsk_badaboom · 2020-05-15T17:30:59+00:00

she wants something from u

francispgrimaldi · 2020-05-15T14:41:34+00:00

Ghost her, she is emotional vampire

Title	What if a girl reachs out but then doesn't actively partecipate to the convo?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	331
Comments	84
Date	May 15, 2020 9:30 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/gk5ytv/what_if_a_girl_reachs_out_but_then_doesnt/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-if-a-girl-reachs-out-but-then-doesnt-actively.1495689 https://theredarchive.com/post/1495689

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