If you don’t try then you’ll never know...

sixfeetunder98

September 22, 2020

2892 upvotes

/r/seduction

Archived from /r/seduction

r/seduction is a subreddit for dating help, with focus on how to get something started up, whether the goal is casual sex or a relationship.

TheRedArchive is an archive of Red Pill subreddits and blogs. This page is our copy of the original post.

/r/seduction archive

Download the post

Want to save the post for offline use on your device? Choose one of the download options below:

PDF TXT EPUB

Support the archive

Everything here was supposed to disappear. Banned subreddits, deleted communities, cancelled blogs — much of what is archived here survives nowhere else.

It stays free — no paywall, no account — for the next man who comes looking, the way it was free for you.

I pay for the servers, the storage and the bandwidth myself. If you want this record still standing in ten years, become one of the people who keeps it online.

Support the archive

Post Information

Title	If you don’t try then you’ll never know...
Author	sixfeetunder98
Upvotes	2892
Comments	72
Date	September 22, 2020 5:22 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ixhcxd/if_you_dont_try_then_youll_never_know/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/if-you-dont-try-then-youll-never-know.1502592 https://theredarchive.com/post/1502592

[–]Spectersy 171 points172 points173 points 5 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

[–]bestxinxbad 26 points27 points28 points 5 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

[–]Spectersy 57 points58 points59 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]khiyamixd 50 points51 points52 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]dawidwojcik141 17 points18 points19 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Dnemesis123 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]bestxinxbad 8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Spectersy 8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]KingCeddy24 10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]LNER_Nerd 5 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]5baserush 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]YahYeer 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]cyrusol 82 points83 points84 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 69 points70 points71 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Fxxlings_22 20 points21 points22 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Dannyboi93 36 points37 points38 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]throwawayyyy2247 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Shieldless_One 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Dannyboi93 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]misterandosan 12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (30 children) | Copy Link

[–]paddywacknack 6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (27 children) | Copy Link

[–]misterandosan 13 points14 points15 points 5 years ago (26 children) | Copy Link

[–]paddywacknack -5 points-4 points-3 points 5 years ago (25 children) | Copy Link

[–]misterandosan 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (23 children) | Copy Link

[–]paddywacknack 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (22 children) | Copy Link

[–]crystalcastles 9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]rhofire 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]WildestParsnip 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]misterandosan -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (17 children) | Copy Link

Got a degree, and a solid job

bare minimum.

Spent thousands of dollars on programs to improve my social skills, joined classes to meet people.

Have you picked up any actual hobbies? You need to have an awesome life separate from your romantic interests. If you don't have an awesome life by yourself, you can't expect to invite others into it, whether it's friendship wise or partner wise. Hobbies also give you a leg up in that you can meet people more like you, and bond over it.

If you're going to be alone, at least make it awesome.

Went to therapy twice a week for 2 years to work on my underlying emotional issues.

That's good, keep it up. This stuff isn't quick. I've been working on myself for 9+ years, and it isn't a straight path.

Lifted weights and tired and failed to lose weight over and over and over again.

If you're struggling the lifting thing by yourself, join a powerlifting or weightlifting gym or some community (e.g. crossfit) you can draw from. They can give you better advice than the internet can, and since everyone is there to improve, or have been in your position you'll get better mentally and physically just from being around it. Now that I think about it, weightlifting, is THE sport for short fat people.

Find people who are better than you and be around them.

That said, weight is a kitchen thing, not a lifting thing. lifting just makes it slightly easier, but the bulk of it is your lifestyle/food.

The list goes on. To be fair to myself my in person game isn't bad im just short, fat and balding and when it comes to online people make snap judgments.

Wear a flat cap, or shave it off if you're insecure about your hair. I've met lots of short, fat balding people (e.g. one of my mentors) who made do with what they had, and have had way more success than I have. If you can hold a conversation with competency, you can definitely improve the above to the point where you'll be attractive overall.

[–]paddywacknack -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link

[–]misterandosan 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago* (6 children) | Copy Link

I don't really care if it's insulting. It's the truth. Don't expect to get laid because you have a job and a degree, self sufficiency is a starting point, nothing more. Either way, if you're proud of achieving it, why the fuck do you care what I think?

If you think your mental struggles are unique, or that the people you talk to haven't experienced it, you're wrong. Don't be a snowflake. I even told you to keep it up with your mental health, so don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

Yes I've done the standard "just get some hobbies" bullshit.

It isn't standard "just get some hobbies" bullshit. This is your life. If you don't enjoy life by yourself, then no one will. Your desperation for human affection is fucking you over.

Im so incredibly lonely that literally nothing interests me.

So what do you expect when you finally get a girlfriend? To suck the life out of her by depending on her for your entertainment and fulfilment?

Frankly, if you haven't found anything that interests you without the ulterior motive of finding girls in 5 years, I call bullshit that you've been trying. You've been wallowing in self pity so much you've barely made progress to cultivate an interesting life because you can't name a single thing you do for fun and fulfilment. Fuck girls. Force yourself to try random shit out and find something fun to do.

i really don't need to hear "just work harder!"

All I gave you was advice and ask some questions. Not a goddamn thing more. Don't read things that aren't there. You're being defensive and trying to fit things into your world view of how shit works.

Ive been doing that and all that its done is leaving me feeling like I'm never going to be good enough for someone to love me.

You're always going to feel that feeling until you do something about it. Accept it and push forward.
What you're doing right now isn't working, so you're going to have to accept you need to change things up, or be alone for the rest of your life.

If you choose the latter, then make your life alone awesome.

Speak about this shit with your therapist, because your biggest hangup are your mental struggles. Find one that specializes in relationship hangups. Read the book "intimate connections" or "feeling good" by Dr David Burns (a clinical psychologist that deals with this shit).

I'm not replying to this any further. Take my advice or don't. It's your life. You've told me what's wrong with your situation, now work on it.

^ You came into this thread saying you need to work on your attractiveness, but these thoughts are the things you need to focus on with your therapist. It's fucking you over more than anything else in your life guaranteed.

[–]paddywacknack 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]paddywacknack -2 points-1 points0 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]PlottingOnTheComeUp2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]paddywacknack2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]freethinking1231 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Listen we all have strengths and weaknesses, you've done 100% more than I've done to improve your life, here's the difference, you're obviously not surrounded by girls you like, right? I'm surrounded by like a thousand, probably more than anybody on this thread, but I'm picky, not into tattoos or extra pounds, or piercings and so on, the hottest ones are with guys here that spend more time than a women does getting dressed, it's impressive to see the outfits, but I'm a blue jeans guy, and I'm NOT surrounded with thousands of down to earth girls let alone American women, it's daytime all foreigners so that's a zero, and at night lots of flashy, or trendy or the worst of all BOTTLE SERVICE HO types of people, I'm titillated looking yes, into it? no. So I scratch my head at the end of every week and think I just dealt with a few hundred more women, definitely on the wild side and I do many events and cool activities myself and I STILL go home alone. So it doesn't matter whether you're working on yourself or that you have the bald head or perfect teeth, I'm actually writing you this while I'm in the dentist chair, it really matters if you're EXPOSED to people that are like-minded, that's the only thing the guy touched on, the rest, meh, at the end of today, I'll have been around some beautiful girls, but even if I remove myself from the problem of this equation, there are still very few that are the type I'd want to be with, and that is a bummer, and that does bring desperation or sadness or futility feelings.

[–]PlottingOnTheComeUp0 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]burningscarlet 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]paddywacknack 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]misterandosan 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted]1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]misterandosan1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]paddywacknack -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]animatedw00d 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]MajorWorrying 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]anonymocities -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]shinn497 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]misterandosan 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]_infinity_stars_ 18 points19 points20 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]about_vivek5 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]thahotboyingrey 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Bierdopje420 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ithinkoutloudtoo 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Udeepta1 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]MrDownhillRacer 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]iaintprobitches2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Heroeinterno 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]dreday42069 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]MeeloP 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]geekchic924 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]CorneliusHardcastle 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]TonyDCoaching 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]minma_marin 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]xfjeanvaljeanxf15 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]sixfeetunder98[S] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Dauntless11911 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Expensive-Fig 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Lord_Gudda -5 points-4 points-3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]theojamesdickcheese 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

Comments