Need advice

whoisgodiam · 2024-03-26T14:15:03+00:00

Just go overseas bro.

Everyonelookatme1 · 2024-03-26T09:16:33+00:00

I filed 7 years 11 months in. No lifetime alimony. Short term marriage. I spared myself financial hell.

AdventurousTrash1645 · 2024-03-26T06:42:09+00:00

I'm in California 47 years old. Was married 20 years and she never worked. Divorce is final in a few weeks and I have to pay $3k in child support and $7k month in Alimony. The Alimony is indefinite so if she does not get married again (which she won't). And she gets half my 401k. I'll most likely be paying her alimony the rest of her life. I can't even think of retiring now. She will be in a nice home (her parents are rich) and I'll be scraping by to life on a 2 bedroom apartment close to my son. It's crazy and makes me feel like it's impossible for me to get ahead and try to start a new life with a girlfriend etc. I won't have extra money to date. Seems like life is over in my head. Working my ass off so she can maintain the standard of moving we once had while i struggle to get by. And forget about having extra money to take my kids on vacation, ski trips ect. I'm made as hell. Maybe convince her to move with you to a state that does not force alimony before you divorce. I had a friend that did this and planned his divorce for two years with a move to a different state to circumvent this. Us guys who went above a beyond so our wives could stay hike and raise our kids get the worse end of the deal. I always took pride in the fact she did not have to work but it screwed ne in the end. I'm her working slave now.

DivorceRecoveryMen · 2024-03-26T03:15:55+00:00

My experience, same situation. Due to an illness of hers, I'm on the hook for alimony until I retire and then it is renegotiated. Interesting. Set up for a cluster. Depends on how the judge feels and what the laws and formula is in your state. Just be ready to bend over, but bending over is nothing to the priceless gift of moving on without her!

bluephotoshop · 2024-03-26T02:49:25+00:00

An alternative: Move to a state that has weak alimony laws.

Least_Winter9632 · 2024-03-26T02:11:25+00:00

What state do you live in?

azwildcat74 · 2024-03-26T01:32:50+00:00

Talk to a lawyer, sometimes if you’re officially retired for some period of time before the divorce it can give you protection as it relates to alimony. You’ll want to ensure you’ve got your ducks in a row though so you’re not working until you die.

Reflog1791 · 2024-03-26T01:26:39+00:00

Results vary. But yeah it’s common that you split the assets 50/50 then pay alimony on top of that. What you’re ok with and your retirement plans are irrelevant. If you’re serious about this you need to talk to like 4 or 5 lawyers in your area. There’s no real protection for you and your retirement plans in divorce court. You could also talk to a therapist to get a realistic non legalese idea of divorce after 26 years.

Might be better off taking that early retirement then filing divorce. They’ll probably send you back to work but it might save some $.

CornelParent · 2024-03-26T02:30:01+00:00

If not able to work, how can I pay for alimony and buy her insurance?

Title	Need advice
Author	CornelParent
Upvotes	4
Comments	21
Date	March 26, 2024 1:00 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1bnusgi/need_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/need-advice.1513165 https://theredarchive.com/post/1513165

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