Forgiveness impeded

Reflog1791 · 2024-04-22T16:31:52+00:00

Use divorce as a springboard to improve every single aspect of your life. Leave no stone unturned. Health, wealth, career, spirituality, emotional intelligence, parenting, appearance, etc.

Then it will be easy to forgive her. You’ll thank her. From where I’m sitting having my kid 3 times a week is awesome. I look forward to it. I take that time very seriously and cherish it. Then I have tons of free time to play golf.

My bank account got fatter even with CS obligation. Made 100 new friends who dgaf I’m divorced.

What anger is left for ex wife “tearing up the family”? None. My kid gets good grades and is happy. My gf is hotter and I get way more dome.

Thank you ex wife, I forgive you.

DivorceRecoveryMen · 2024-04-21T15:09:34+00:00

That's all ok... forgiveness is for you forgiving yourself first. Forgiveness for her might not ever come and that's ok. Giving her no more parking spaces in your brain and occupying precious space is the goal. Moving on is your job here. The bitterness will subside. And your kids will be ok. They are more resilient than you think.

Potential_Item610 · 2024-04-21T07:42:36+00:00

Fuck forgiving her mate, she destroyed your family and caused your kids lifelong pain - she does not deserve forgiveness, forget that new age bullshit. Don’t wallow in hate, just get on with your life and give her not a single thought.

Severe-Substance-142 · 2024-04-20T21:30:18+00:00

I think it may be possible (in some cases) to forgive cheating, some bad behaviour and so on.

But if she lied in court that's a whole new level. I would never forgive my own mother if she lied in court about me.

savage_cabbages · 2024-04-20T21:09:20+00:00

You archive. Place those memories and feelings in an archive and live in the now whilst planning your future.

Subtle-Catastrophe · 2024-04-20T19:40:31+00:00

It's a con that you have to "forgive" to move on. Forgiveness is a real thing, but it is not required. You can "release" and reap most, if not all, of the same benefits. I've written this before in this sub. "I release you" grants you the same power as "I forgive you," but without the implied humiliation.

CrazySanta7 · 2024-04-20T19:33:13+00:00

Forgiveness is over-rated. You'll get to a point where you don't care anymore. If anyone needs forgiveness, its you. As men, we often get and take the blame 100%. My ex was out banging dudes, but of course, everything was 100% my fault. GTFOH. Be kind to yourself, but your goal is no emotion towards her, and it takes time.

Fickle-Cap4370 · 2024-04-20T17:53:37+00:00

You absolutely don’t have to forgive her. The other important part is do not tell her that you don’t.

dday_throwaway3 · 2024-04-20T15:56:13+00:00

Forgiveness isn't for her, it's for you so you can move on with your life. It's letting go of anger, resentment, any desire for any type of revenge, any thoughts of hoping she will fail because of her decision, etc.‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬ She couldn't care less about your forgiveness because she believes she didn't do anything wrong. When dealing with a high-conflict spouse, it doesn't matter what you do or could have done, it will still be wrong. A wise man once said, "You could walk on water, and she would still complain that you cannot swim."

You need to have an age-appropriate discussion with your kids. This is what I told my 7 and 11 yo when I divorced:

We will still be a family, but not all families live together. We loved each other very much in the beginning and wanted to make our family always be together. But we were wrong. We’ve made some mistakes and haven’t treated each other the right way. We’re going to live in different houses. And we think we’ll be better parents because then you won’t have to hear us arguing with each other.

You didn't cause the divorce. There is nothing to you can do to make it better. Parents don't fall out of love with their kids, like they can with a spouse. Your dad will always be your dad. Your mom will always be your mom. There is nothing you can do to make me stop being your dad, or to make your mom stop being your mom. We will love you forever and always. We just won't be doing it in the same house. Though we'll be living apart, we’ll still take care of you together.

Less-Chemist-9909 · 2024-04-20T15:52:22+00:00

If she doesn't deserve forgiveness, then don't forgive, but forget. Work on your recovery, build your worth back up and move on. Concentrate on you and your kids and the rest will fall into place. Never settle and keep building your empire king!

TechnicalAd5152 · 2024-04-20T15:34:10+00:00

Forgiveness is overrated eventually you'll just not care

Ptsdveterannavy · 2024-04-20T15:23:55+00:00

It'll take a little while for forgiveness to kick in for her, but most importantly, forgive yourself and let the kids know they will always have the both of you, but time will be spilt between the both of you. Good luck

Title	Forgiveness impeded
Author	LeftySmithy
Upvotes	11
Comments	13
Date	April 20, 2024 3:15 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1c8sdy6/forgiveness_impeded/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/forgiveness-impeded.1515815 https://theredarchive.com/post/1515815

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