What element is missing in my personality?

GO_Zark · 2024-05-15T14:30:41+00:00

I was talking to a female friend of mine about why I don't get any girls, what's wrong with my personality. She said that I am more of a "friend" personality. Now obviously I am her friend and not interested in her but that got me thinking as to why girls don't ever consider me that way

I'd say I am pretty social and outgoing, I am quite funny and witty, I am smart and articulate, not the best looking but decent. I could come off as a asshole or rude or self absorbed from time to time but I try my best to tame those sides of me when with a girl I like and turn the sarcasm to maybe 20%, just enough that it's just light banter and not straight up roasts and insults.

Sounds like you're not in the habit of going for it when you first meet/hang out with a girl. You can be a great all around dude but if you're not taking the lead and trying to kiss her / date her / get her naked, she's not gonna do it for you and that means that you're her friend because you didn't create or act on the tension between you two.

You'll get rejected more often when you make more attempts but that's better than sitting around as her friend full of unrequited feelings and "what-if" ideations.

Also if your part of your personality is that you like sassy girls who can roast you back, start hanging with people who can hang on that level with you.

SaaSWriters · 2024-05-15T15:09:31+00:00

There’s nothing at all missing in your personality.

You think there is, therefore you try to act in ways that are not yourself.

In addition, you are scared of women, when it comes to being sexual. For this reason, you haven’t developed that side of yourself. And you haven’t had much experience.

Now, this is a common problem. That’s one of the reasons a sub like this exists. Most guys are looking for some kind of trick and tactics to attract women. They ask different question, but essentially the issue is the same.

So they think they’ll use money, looks, status, humour, or tricks.

And, they will do a LOT to avoid rejection.

The question becomes, how do you do things differently?

The fist thing is, you have to be clear on what you want. Mind you, this is not about what you think you should want, what you thing you can get, or what the society thinks you should want.

When you know what you want, you meet women. You weed out those who want different things. You keep those who do.

Of course, there are some additional things you need to know. But that’s the start. That’s most important thing.

Fuzzy-Bottle-4138 · 2024-05-15T15:07:19+00:00

Just read the book No More Mr Nice Guy by Robert Glover…it’s highly recommended here

DaygameCode · 2024-05-15T16:01:59+00:00

You lack expressing sexual desire. You are not behaving horny in front of woman. You are sexually restraining yourself to avoid making them uncomfortable so the result is women see you as a nice friend they can be comfortable with.

If you want a girlfriend the woman must not feel totally comfortable she must feel the tension that arises when a man shows (instead of hiding) desire for a woman.

You need to act more horny, you need to look at women like a fat kid hungry looks at a cheeseburger, or like a lion who hasn’t eaten in weeks would look at a fat juicy pork.

The woman must feel that you are actually seeing them in a sexual way.

When you act like a friend the woman nevera gets the feeling you are even into her, let alone being turned on sexually by her. It’s like they forget you even have a penis because you keep hiding it metaphorically speaking.

Your interactions about women are mostly done in a “playing it safe” kind of way. Never daring to make any sexual expression that could come on too strong because you do t want to risk being called a creep or a perv and making them uncomfortable which is exactly what makes you a friend rather than a potential lover.

The woman must feel desired, wanted, and feel like she has an effect on the guy’s penis. If she feels like she has absolutely no effect on the guys’d penis they see him as a teddy bear or a sibling. An inoffensive dude that won’t try anything with her ever.

How often do you tell a woman that you find her so sexy, you are tempted to kidnap her _. (not that you would literally kidnap her, it’s more of a sexual insinuation), how often do you lick your bottom lip with desire while looking at her? How often do you tell a woman that _the way she smiles is so sexy, that your heart ate is increasing? How often do you tell her that “you are trying so hard not to kiss her right now, but it’s getting harder and harder” while kinda invading her personal space closely and seductively?

This is an example of the attitude where you express sexual desire and the woman feels that you are horny and acting on your sexual primitive instincts, rather than repressing them and acting civilised and polite.

You want women? You need to stop acting like sexual desire must be hidden at all costs. You need to stop acting like women don’t want sex. You need to start creating sexual tension without being apologetic about it. You need to be more dominant and sexual.

This thing needs to happen face to face not over the phone. Don’t try to be sexual over the phone. It always needs to be done in front of her face in real life. You need to play the game in person, and avoid the phone conversations as much as possible, keeping them to a minimum which is to use texting for dates and nothing more.

TRTGymBro1 · 2024-05-15T17:22:57+00:00

I've read your other posts and you are thinking t about this incorrectly. You do not have to be a liar and manipulator to have women. As a matter of fact, being honest with them is much more powerful.

At the end of the day you are just a typical nice guy. Painting by the numbers, toeing the line, going with the crowd. You are part of an army of hundreds of millions of guys like that. Good guys, who never break the rules, who dress in shades of grey, dark green and brown so they can blend on with the environment, who behave like the gray masses.

There is no easy way to do this, but you have to start challenging your fears. Start by dressing and looking sexy so you can start feeling sexy. Get a new haircut. Get it from a female stylist who is young and attractive. Don't go to a $5 barbershop. Take one of your attractive female friends and ask her to help you shop for a new wardrobe. Spare no expense. Buy new clothes, new shoes, new underwear, new sunglasses. Look sharp and sexy.

Start practicing speaking your mind more. Don't be offensive but don't be afraid to disagree with people, to offer different opinions. Don't blindly follow your friends. Start taking charge of social activities and suggesting places to go.

When it comes to girls, start by giving them some compliments and flirting. Don't have any expectations or flirt because you want something out of them. Do it just because you enjoy it.

With time, you will get out of your nice guy shell, but it will take time and effort.

SnooHesitations4922 · 2024-05-15T16:30:00+00:00

Just have a base blueprint and develop yourself into it.

You want to be indifferent, polarizing, and pre selected. These are the traits that demonstrate you ain't a "friend" personality.

Friends care. You can't care. It's actually ethical not to if you are looking through the woman's lens of reality.

You can care about all human beings but you can't care about the outcomes of interactions with girls. You cannot care about their beauty. Adopting this mindset will automatically dial in your behaviors so u don't make anyone feel like a deer in headlights when you talk. You basically are carrying yourself like you already have women.

Women want what other women want. Think about how a man with multiple options behaves, and start like that and create perceived preselection for a rolling start until it becomes realized preselection.

BarryBold8 · 2024-05-15T14:38:10+00:00

It seems like you’re not advancing. But without something you it’s impossible to tell.

WinningCommunication · 2024-05-15T16:57:04+00:00

Teasing with a strong frame most likely. Also perhaps setting boundaries and "holding court" like being a leader. You probably have your comfort game down it sounds like and just need to add in attraction game. So look into attraction, breaking rapport etc.

therealwoujo · 2024-05-15T18:44:10+00:00

You could be making three possible mistakes:

1) You are not showing yourself to be a sexual being, which causes women to put you into the friendzone category right away.

2) You are not taking the lead, which makes you look passive and unattractive.

3) You are being needy.

yashar_sb_sb · 2024-05-15T19:14:18+00:00

epimpstyle · 2024-05-15T15:17:19+00:00

You cannot add a new element to your personality like a missing puzzle piece. Everyone is different, your personality is created based on your education, friends, family, and experiences.

. I could come off as a asshole or rude or self absorbed from time to time

Everyone can be like this, you are not "special"...so don't worry, you are good as you are.

Title	What element is missing in my personality?
Author	Chitr_gupt
Upvotes	21
Comments	42
Date	May 15, 2024 2:23 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1csm2fq/what_element_is_missing_in_my_personality/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-element-is-missing-in-my-personality.1518561 https://theredarchive.com/post/1518561

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