Feeling the need to rack up a high n count as a man to compete with women on dating apps

GladysSchwartz23 · 2024-08-03T14:56:50+00:00

You need to calm the fuck down sir

The vast amount of women have slept with fewer than 15 people, but more importantly, the fact that you care how many men a hypothetical lady you haven't even met yet has slept with is a PROBLEM

If we're happy with someone, we don't compare. Make your next girl happy and attend to what she enjoys in bed and it will not matter if she has fornicated with an actual factual elephant. You are creating a problem where one does not exist.

IbrahIbrah · 2024-08-03T15:08:04+00:00

A relationship is way more than the sum of it's part and sex is only one part of it.

If a woman loves you, she will not live in the past and her past experiences will slowly fade away. Same for you. Communication and love make for a good sex life and 99.99% don't ask for more than that to be happy.

This line of thinking is really really shallow and one day it will come across to you as really immature.

TallyTruthz · 2024-08-03T15:57:10+00:00

I’ve never met a woman who has that high of a body count. At this point you’re not trying to compete with women on dating apps, you’re trying to compete with other men.

I’d also recommend that you get off the dating apps. They’re obviously negatively impacting your self-esteem. Meet women in real life. Go to social events, start new hobbies, etc.

Asleep_Wish3839 · 2024-08-03T16:04:58+00:00

You're not ready to date if this is how you see women and relationships. Work on your own happiness and self esteem, because you will likely not attract or keep a good woman and have a healthy relationship with this mindset.

AssistTemporary8422 · 2024-08-03T16:43:55+00:00

I myself have slept with around 15 people and I’m 28. Which I consider “normal” or even “high” for around my age.

Most people have slept with 4-10 partners in their entire lives. So your partner count is a little high but not crazy.

However I go on the internet and see women treating dating apps like window shopping and just sleeping with the most attractive most available option only to get dumped.

So around 10% of the population is highly promiscuous and has a far higher partner count than most people. You are on the edge of that population yourself. These women who are constantly sleeping with new people are a minority and most women on dating apps are going out with very few people. Given that men outnumber women 3 to 1 on the apps the vast majority of women aren't even on the apps.

Generally I do not want to sleep with a bunch of random women, I just want to find my girl. And now I’m thinking of how I would handle if I learned my future wife had an n count of 35+. I don’t think I would be emotionally ready to handle that.

Nobody is forcing you to marry someone who has been especially promiscuous in the past. Why do you feel an obligation to date them?

Assuming roughly 3 guys a year, that’s 36 dicks,

A woman can say that you are 15 vaginas of other women. Given that most people have a sexual past I don't think its helpful to think about the sexual organs of your partner's past partners.

baggage, and potential competition to deal with.

I think you are generalizing here and not everyone with a past has problematic baggage.

The majority of women I know are definitely over 10 by this point (which is fine, no judgement) I just have no idea what their totals are

Thats more than the average person so your experience isn't reflective of the average.

After that I would start to question intentions and how she views relationships.

Thats fair but don't jump to conclusions.

Inareskai · 2024-08-03T16:47:22+00:00

for some reason can’t wrap my head around that. That’s why I consider my count of 15 to be average at this point. Relationships are at an all time low, temporary situationships are in

That's because it's something you've made it up. You don't need to wrap your head around it because it's not real.

curiiouscat · 2024-08-03T17:21:53+00:00

Why would having sex with a lot of people change the way someone views relationships? Sex can just be sex, not related to a relationship at all.

watsonyrmind · 2024-08-04T04:10:56+00:00

Some of you really just make shit up in your head then convince yourself it's true and it's absolutely wild.

I am begging y'all to practice just a little more critical thought than this.

Abject-Interview4784 · 2024-08-03T15:36:43+00:00

Body count does not necessarily equal a good experience. Some people have low body counts but really click well with someone and have a good time together. I friends with high body counts where the experiences were not very good. Low body count with good partners and good experiences is better.The body count thing is just stupid. I feel like it was invented by soldiers as a less depressing alternative to kill counts.

Allusionator · 2024-08-03T14:18:23+00:00

Sex is a physical not a chemical change lol. We don’t get sex ghosts, it’s aaaaall in the past and meaningless.

Immediate-Ask-8910 · 2024-08-03T15:45:25+00:00

I’m reeeally confused .. 15 average?, I don’t get outside much but I’m 22f with 2…. And the “promiscuous” girl of my friend group has 5.

camellight123 · 2024-08-03T16:14:05+00:00

I have no idea how many people my exs or current bf have slept with. I'm confused about how even you'd go around knowing that. For reference we're the same age, and I've slept with less people than you have, but still I couldn't at the top of my head give you an exact number, just cause I'm not there counting them in my head every morning.

Statistically speaking women fuck less random people on average, so I really don't know where this paranoia is coming from honestly.

Date who you like, don't date who you don't like, if a woman telling you something about her sexual past makes you go limp in the pants, whatever, don't date her.

You don't yet have a girlfriend but are worried about the ipotethical where she was promiscuous, but she is the perfect angel good for you etc etc...but do you even know how to make a relationship work with a woman who didn't have loads of dick? Cause I'd start with the more realistic scenario of being dumped for other reasons beside not getting over the amount of dick a girl took, which is waaaay more likely of a scenario.

SweelFor- · 2024-08-03T16:41:04+00:00

Good lord, what have you done to be this brainwashed?

You have so much unlearning to do. This sex count competition is not going to lead you anywhere. You live in some kind of fantasy, simple, game theory world.

"If my sex counts is less than hers divided by 1.5 plus my age minus 4, she won't be attracted to me!!". It's pathetic to read. You need a real wake up call. You sound like a virgin teenager trying to imagine what the real world is like, who gets all their information from Andrew Tate and other trashbags.

If you were the kind of woman you are attracted to, and you were reading this, would you be attracted to yourself?

You have to relearn everything about human relationships. Wake up and be a real person.

bluemagex2517 · 2024-08-03T16:53:10+00:00

Realistically, I would be comfortable with ANY woman who was with less than 35 people. After that I would start to question intentions and how she views relationships.

And

The majority of women I know are definitely over 10 by this point (which is fine, no judgement) I just have no idea what their totals are

So, most women you know have slept with some number of people that's higher than 10 and you don't have an issue if they've slept with under 35...

Sounds like this isn't an issue. Sounds like most of the women you're interested in are in the 10-34 range, but your own admission. So, reject the odd woman who has more than 35 partners. I doubt that will even come up very often.

Personally, I don't think number of sexual partners correlates with any negatives. My current partner has more than 35, I'm sure. But, she's awesome. I've dated plenty of women with low experience, like 1-3 partners, who were terrible partners.

I think assuming someone is going to be bad partner because they were slutty when they were younger is dumb. Lots of people with zero or a couple of sexual partners suck at relationships. I just don't see the correlation. Zero chance there's causation.

PlantHag · 2024-08-03T15:39:38+00:00

Firstly, how the hell do you know how all these women are using the apps, let alone who they are sleeping with? Do you have a special crystal ball for sluts? You are just projecting your crap onto women and assuming they’d bang any guy that reciprocates interest, because that’s what you would do in their shoes, like most men.

Secondly, if you think dating apps are representative of real life, you need to spend less time on the internet and go outdoors more. Most women don’t use them.

Every statistic I’ve seen suggests that men generally have a significantly higher number of partners than women. And anecdotally at 37, I don’t know a single woman who’s been with more than 6 partners (not that I would give a shit), and most women I know well enough to discuss the issue with would have been fine stopping at 1, had their partner not dropped the ball in other areas of the relationship.

Promiscuity is a symptom not the problem. The reason dating is a horror show is because men are generally bad partners and need an entire patriarchy for women to be willing to put up with them.

Lovedchastitychic · 2024-08-03T14:29:21+00:00

I don't know anyone in my life who has slept with more than 1. Granted could be my circle or where I came from but know this the people who are the loudest in the internet are usually in minority, it does not really translate in real life.

SufficientDot4099 · 2024-08-03T23:45:13+00:00

Temporary situationahips aren't any higher than they were in the past, this is a huge historical misconception. Everything you say here isn't reality, it's just things that only exist in your mind

Personal_Dirt3089 · 2024-08-04T21:34:56+00:00

It sounds like you made up a scenario and use it to drive some rivalry which exists only in your head.

By the way, no one other than losers cares about your "body count". You're 28 and you do not live in a cringey teen sex comedy.

wonkyfringe · 2024-08-06T02:41:19+00:00

Do you honestly think sleeping with more women, when deep down you don’t even want to, will solve or improve a problem you don’t even have & might never have? Plus what happens if you feel worse afterwards? What if it increases your low self esteem & makes it harder for you to “pair bond”? Also, why’s OLD culture such an issue for you, when you’re now thinking of doing the very thing you despise?

Astrotheurgy · 2024-08-03T19:57:29+00:00

That's why I'm out of the game. Just be happy you've had that many. The quality isn't there anymore and if you find it, you can easily be replaced by a single download of an app. Best of luck in your endeavors.

Title	Feeling the need to rack up a high n count as a man to compete with women on dating apps
Author	Rasta-Grandpa
Upvotes	0
Comments	47
Date	August 3, 2024 2:05 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/1ej45cw/feeling_the_need_to_rack_up_a_high_n_count_as_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/feeling-the-need-to-rack-up-a-high-n-count-as-a.1526206 https://theredarchive.com/post/1526206

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