I am finally on the way out of a 15 year (8 years married) relationship 3 young kids (8, 6, 5). Leaving has me questioning everything, she came home on our 8th Anniversary from work and with flowers and a 4 carat tennis bracelet on the table waiting for her and said to me “I am divorcing you and I do not need to explain myself to you”. For weeks I would try and talk to her and try to understand why she is doing this and “blowing it up” as she called it. She would simply say that I did not deserve an answer and she now has boundaries I must respect.

I am the lead caretaker and work from home. She went back to work after kids were established last 3 years and was fully devoted to work and had no time for us. We have fought for years bc I asked for help with our kids and for her to be present and be a spouse. She emotionally abused me and continued to call me emotional and a pussy. She would then turn on the “your gaslighting me” “you are mentally ill and need to see someone” “our kids are going to need years of therapy from how you treat me and them”.

Eventually she filed for separation and my response was a counter file for divorce. I had asked for weeks while waiting for her separation petition that we sit and talk with the kids to explain to them what is happening to their family, she refused. Within 3 days of receiving my divorce petition she staged a false DV incident and cut herself while attacking me, got me arrested on DV assault, now there is a restraining order preventing me from seeing her or my kids until after the DV assault trial in December.

Just venting here… but how can these ppl live with themselves?