I am a 23 year old man and I had a burning question after looking through the sub.

DaKingOfDaTRAP · 2024-10-14T05:05:12+00:00

23 is nothing, you’re still very young. Even if you were 33, you’d still be in a great place in life but you’re (unfortunately) dating in a shitty age range. Women are more shallow & pickier, the younger they are.

You can thank the popularity of influencers, internet porn, dating apps & social media for causing a bigger dating imbalance between men & women. But there’s no point complaining about it. Guys are still out there getting with girls at your age, they just have to put in a little more work as all.

If by paying, you mean investing in your self so that you dress better, look better & behave better? Sure. If by paying more, you mean paying for women to spend time with you or to sleep with you? Honestly, I think that’s pointless. Save your money & your dignity.

r_gui · 2024-10-14T05:20:17+00:00

Forget "leverage" - whatever that means. Forget girls. Read "Models", and then read "what every body is saying." Implement what you've read. Learn to walk, smile, and conversate properly. Ditch the dating apps. Touch some grass and talk to actual women. Experiment. Before you know it, you've dated 3-5 girls within two months with very low effort; a lot more if you're serious with dating. The problem now is that we have too many guys reading but not implementing.

One thing I wish I knew starting off was the stares. You will get stared at. Even if you're in a rush, get the number and close the deal. Good luck!

auntLIITTiya · 2024-10-14T05:01:54+00:00

Start with social circle (outside of the friends that have given up) and work your way up from there. Also physique is arguably just as important (in some cases more important) than money. If you stop talking to girls now, it’s only gonna be that much harder when youre older and even more anxious about it. I’m a dating coach for men and I meet with SO many men that decided to focus on making money and they’re all in their forties that’s gone up in wealth but also with social/flirting anxiety.

In short: if you don’t lose it, you lose it. Yes it’s harder, but that mindset isn’t going to help you. Reframe it to believing that harder = less competition.

Men care so much about money but the truth is, women make the same if not more than men (example: single women are buying more houses than men) so women are looking for different things: an attractive partner with a fun lifestyle and funny sense of humor. Those are all reachable (yes you can learn to be more attractive)

Focusing on solely money is a recipe for a lonely 40s filled with prostitutes and trust me - no guy ends up being fulfilled by that.

norwegiandoggo · 2024-10-14T06:12:26+00:00

Women got this "leverage" millions of years ago when the early mammals evolved in a way so that the female would have just a few big babies. In a painful, and risky child birth. And the male mammal risked very little by having sex, and the male could have far more babies than any female could.

This gave the female plenty of reasons to be pickier about who she mated with. And it gave reasons for the male to be less picky. Hence, giving the female more leverage in choosing mates. Women became the sexual selector. You see this type of interaction in a lot of different animals. Including birds. Male paradise birds have to do a fancy dance. The female paradise birds are the selectors and decide if the performance was worthy of a fuck.

So it has nothing to do with "this day and age". It is built into every human from birth. It's our biology. It has nothing to do with social media or dating apps.

What do you mean by "paying to get women"? Prostitution? Don't recommend that, especially at your age.

Rather than giving up, i recommend you take a break from trying. Meanwhile, use this time off to find out why you're failing so much. Try to take responsibility for the outcome.

Don't blame women.
Don't blame "this day and age"
Don't blame dating apps
Don't blame social media
Don't blame who you are.

Blame your actions and tactics. Blame your strategy. Blame the way you're presenting yourself. Evaluate it and see what you can learn from your past failures. Only once you understand them better can you go back to trying to date women again. Best of luck!

ManaDeus · 2024-10-14T06:05:47+00:00

Nah it’s easy, have a job, be fit, be hygienic, go out and socialize with both men and women, then learn seduction skills as a side, you’ll have women in no time

hal64 · 2024-10-14T06:34:17+00:00

23 is one of the worse age for a man nowadays. You'd have more success at 13 or 33.

every dude I know in my ethnicity is shooting to make as much money as possible. So I wanted to ask is it really that hard to get girls in this day and age and is it fine to lay down the sword and focus on money?

Change country if you're not motivated to get your local girls. You should be doing both there is more reason to not pursue your ambitions goals and money while meeting girls on the side.

Many of my friends have other ways to get girls as well with payment but I haven't tried those ways properly yet.

Don't do that. It will not solve anything.

HomelessMilkman · 2024-10-14T10:06:40+00:00

The true fact of the matter is that getting results is either 'very easy' or 'impossible', there's no in-between.

You either have and therefore demonstrate you have self-esteem or you don't/can't.

You can always develop your self-esteem, using the proper mindsets and techniques, to 'move up' and be on the level to get results but anything other than that is messing around.

It doesn't just stop with women, it's why are you asking us? You want to forge your own path, be the leader, be influential and whatever you choose is the 'right thing'. At the end of the day, there are no 'right' answers, just more influential people.

Silent-Row-9684 · 2024-10-14T05:17:47+00:00

The women who are looking to you to fund their lifestyle are not worth your time. When men post their vehicles, etc., on dating apps, I know they’re trying to show their worth as a provider. But I never swipe right on those. I pay attention to smiles with character that show in their eyes. Is their profile witty? Funny? Goofy? Do I see a personality? That’s what I care about. Pics are a snapshot of who you are trying to put forward. Often, I can get a good judge of who you are if you put more effort in the bio. (Then, if we match, can you hold up your end of a conversation? Do you ask me any questions? This is important before I agree to meet in person.)

roakmamba · 2024-10-14T06:35:52+00:00

Dating apps and social media blew up their egos and out went their morals

HadToAsk10001 · 2024-10-14T05:07:36+00:00

Dating apps, the rise of social media, and the fact that each generation of men has less testosterone than the last. We’ve had to adjust over time. It ain’t hard to get women, but the landscape has definitely changed.

You can focus on yourself and the money, that’s great. You don’t need women as your #1 reason for existing. However, if you only pursue money (and are successful at it), whenever you finally try to talk to women, you’ll be wondering if they’re after your money or if they like you for you. Sucks, but it’s better to at least get the basics of dating down, while trying to work on yourself. At least, in my opinion

therealwoujo · 2024-10-14T05:28:53+00:00

No. You want a woman to like you. You don't want to buy a prostitute. You should make money because money is important for a good life, but for your relationships you should focus on becoming attractive and a fun, interesting person.

Sudden-Conference-65 · 2024-10-14T06:45:39+00:00

Do both. Girls and money 🤷‍♂️

mal_one · 2024-10-14T07:04:52+00:00

If you get a girl because you have money, shes the wrong type of girl, and you’ll regret having dated her. meet people organically as others have said, and work on what makes you happy. people are highly attracted to someone who has a passion for life - like if you really enjoy your job, sport, craft, hobby etc others feel that so work on your skills, and improving yourself at what you enjoy doing.

Ok-Training-7587 · 2024-10-14T13:33:55+00:00

women have always had leverage. Men's sex drive peaks at 18. Women do not GAF at that age, and have to be actively cautious to boot bc some men are dangerous.

Worried-One2399 · 2024-10-14T13:53:39+00:00

A man’s goal should never be a woman… a man’s goal should always be striving to improve their lives.

Does that include a woman? Possibly, but that depends on wat his goals are, right?

U said ur friends are shooting to make as much money as possible. Those are goals, they understand that if they make as much money as possible woman will naturally enter the picture @ some point.

I mean life is balance, also remember that. If u r lucky enough to find the ONE woman. Focus on her, she will be your best bet for the future & success.

She will be your rock, but if u can’t find her. Don’t worry about it. Find the strength to keep going on your own. Many people in this sub are single for the most part. (Men & woman)

To answer your question, when did woman get so much “privilege”.

They got the privilege that they did when society started understanding that women are more important than the man. (lol jk), sort of… & honestly a society cannot function w/ out both.

BUT woman carry the future of society. So I think they inherently gained importance from that alone. Only 1 man is needed to make society prevail. (Not intentionally putting our sex down BTW)

But it’s the truth…

existentialdread-111 · 2024-10-14T15:16:13+00:00

Hey brother, best advice I can give is to you focus on yourself. Focus on making as much money as you can and focus on developing yourself emotionally, mentally and physically and everything comes naturally. Don’t seek woman, you’re the prize brother, keep your head up and stay focused.

Broad-Cranberry-9050 · 2024-10-14T16:19:26+00:00

Best way is to work on yourself and try to get your "glow up" sooner rather than later. I didnt get my glow up until I was like 25-26 becaue I was the type that I didnt see the necessity in growing my beard or getting a cool haircut. Now I do and I wish I had done this at 19-20 instead of at 25-26. If you have trusted females in your social cirlce, listen to their style tips. I was told by a friend black was my color so I bought a bunch of black shirts. I was then told backward hats make me look good so now I make an effort to wear more hats. I was told by alot fo people to grow a beard and I did that. Slowly but surely I started to feel girls were staying around me more. Obviously I have to still work on social skills but these things help. The number one thing I noticed is you have to try and be a social butterfly and take risks. Girls see a social butterfly as interesting because he doesnt give the vibe that he is trying to get with them, just that he is having a good time. If you are having a good time with a girl, dont be afraid to go for the kiss.

KoleSekor · 2024-10-14T17:21:10+00:00

That's all in your head. You must seriously challenge your thoughts and beliefs. When you believe women have leverage, they are intimidating and challenging. When you believe you have more attractive power, they are easy and accessible. And whatever you believe becomes your reality. So internalize this, "I'm the prize."

"Whether you believe you can or believe you can't... You're right" - Henry Ford

mister_k1 · 2024-10-14T18:32:40+00:00

yes it is very hard, and yes focus on making money you will thank me later

Miserable-Swing9275 · 2024-10-14T18:59:06+00:00

Women always have the leverage bc they got a vagina

RobbyResidue · 2024-10-14T20:59:08+00:00

You still very young don’t focus on getting girls…put that focus into yourself learning making money and your appearance do things that make you happy. Constantly make yourself better. When you are happy healthy and thriving that energy will make it much easier

BrandiYourSissySlut · 2024-10-15T02:02:58+00:00

Here's my input: First, notwithstanding the obvious answer, why do you want to get girls...particularly in the West (assuming)? Age 23 is very young, if it were me (and I'm 20+ years older) looking back on what I know now? I'd do the career/money thing and wait until late 20's to even worry about dating, if not early 30's. And when that time comes? Two words my friend: Passport Bro's. It's not that women have made themselves unattractive and useless, it's that Western women have made themselves unattractive and useless.

Here's another reason to wait and something to do in preparation: Family courts (and women begin over 70% of divorces) have been traditionally very female biased...but that is changing. Things are emerging like mandatory paternity testing at the babies' birth and getting rid of alimony. These can all help YOU. But jumping ahead, if you ever consider marriage, just...protect your assets. Lots of ways to do that but DO IT.

And please, never...NEVER simp. Men are getting the upper hand once again but...their efforts are being thwarted by the ever present simp. Don't simp.

Chicagoj1563 · 2024-10-15T09:26:47+00:00

Your over thinking it and looking for a source to teach you. Look at game as a form of self development where you are testing yourself in a range of social challenges. Improving over time by interacting with women is the process.

You have to be interacting with women. Go do that, then read the theory.

To be good with women you don’t just start doing it. You have to become someone who is good with women. It’s a new identity and you have to go through trials and tribulations to get there. You need reference experiences. You will have new habits and beliefs if you see it through.

If you don’t go through the process, then build a large social circle. Meet alot of women. You will find someone you match with if you meet enough women, as long as you show intent.

Historical-Case9201 · 2024-10-14T05:26:44+00:00

Focus on your money, girls will come with patience and practice. If you just want to lose your virginity then try your luck at a club or bar approaching as many women as you can without looking and feeling desperate.

Title	I am a 23 year old man and I had a burning question after looking through the sub.
Author	Last_Consequence2760
Upvotes	28
Comments	46
Date	October 14, 2024 4:48 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1g38e4t/i_am_a_23_year_old_man_and_i_had_a_burning/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-am-a-23-year-old-man-and-i-had-a-burning.1533630 https://theredarchive.com/post/1533630

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