How to stop thinking about them?

Ok-Guidance6491 · 2025-01-09T14:52:37+00:00

It’s probably midlife crisis and NO they are not better than you. This is an about her and not you. Yes it’s devastating, but it’s not a reflection of you or your worth.

MR-Ozmidnight · 2025-01-09T03:16:24+00:00

It sounds like you’re going through a tough time, and I want you to know that taking care of yourself and your well-being is essential. Focusing on clearing your head and feeling more positive might be helpful. I recommend checking out some books like “Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life,” “No more, Mr. Nice Guy,” “Doing the 180,” and “Grey Rocking.” There are plenty of other resources available online as well.

I understand that balancing everything can be challenging, especially considering your son’s well-being. If you have concerns about his environment, talking to your lawyer could be a good idea to ensure he’s in a safe space. Remember that your son needs you to be his protector, so making him the centre of your universe during your time together is essential. Keeping a record of anything concerning his care, like unwashed clothes.

Try not to worry too much about the guys in her life; it's normal to feel uneasy, but remember that your bond with your son is what matters. He’s perceptive and will notice how things are. Being there for him is important so he knows he can always come to you. Building a strong friendship with him now will pay off in the long run—many parents find that their children lean more on them as they grow older.

If how those guys look weighs heavily on your mind, consider engaging in activities like gym, running, or walking. Not only will this improve your health, but it might also help you feel more confident and even surprise your ex when you start to feel good about yourself.

Also, you might want to explore co-parenting apps. These platforms can help you organise visitation schedules and anything related to your son while keeping a record that can be used.

Remember that there are people who care about you. Whenever things feel overwhelming, don't hesitate to reach out for support. You are not alone in this. I wish you all the best on your journey.

First-Sail8421 · 2025-01-07T22:41:52+00:00

polyamorous means promiscuous. It is not good for your young son. Have you talked to your counsel about whether this is grounds for getting more custody with your son? He should not be in a household where your wife is running through new men on a regular basis. That will erode his self-esteem, cause him to hate his mother, and it is physically dangerous to him. There are various studies documenting the significantly higher risk/incidence of child (sexual) abuse on young children from boyfriends of divorced women. Do some research and educate yourself, then talk to counsel. And, frankly, knowing that is how she is coping with her newfound freedom should make it easier for you to get over her. That’s not what you ever deserved, nor should you desire to go back to it.

team_starfox3 · 2025-01-07T10:11:54+00:00

Honestly, you need to start thinking about meeting someone new. Even if for no other reason thsn to purge your ex from your mind.

Start talking and start day dreaming about what life could be like is enough to help ease things and get your thoughts away.

Fun-Conference1361 · 2025-01-07T00:55:29+00:00

Totally agree. Think about your life 18 more months from now and devote time and efforts that you’ll (and son) be proud of yourself and in a different space.

Medical_Number8972 · 2025-01-06T23:10:37+00:00

PS: Who knows what she was doing when I was mobilized. They hide everything so well.

Pro-IDGAF · 2025-01-06T18:53:54+00:00

you gotta change your thought patterns otherwise it’ll destroy

she’s gone and its just the difference in men and women on how they detach. i said this elsewhere, men are like rheostats and women have a switch.

seems pretty obvious this has nothing to do with you. she is acting on childhood attachment theory and daddy issues. no man will ever settle her down or win her over. she is seeking validation thru sex. has nothing to do with love.

you just chose poorly so accept that and move on. i did as well and that been my saving grace, there was never anything i could have done to fix her issues.

2025-01-06T18:22:11+00:00

Have you considered some therapy? Please think about having some before you poo poo the idea - it really can be life changing if you find the right therapist.

Medical_Number8972 · 2025-01-06T15:16:42+00:00

Ditto to all above. Hit the gym, improve your diet: far less carbs and get more fiber. Do cardio three to four days a week. Focus on your son and not the whore you tried turning into a lady. That trick never works. I was married to one for 28 years and low and behold the whore returned.

Friend and brother: Do The Work!

regertsrus · 2025-01-06T13:50:20+00:00

She is a poly prostitute. Multiple men giz all over her probably at the same time even. They drill her in every hole and then you pay her child support. Does that make it easier for you ?

Long-Review-1861 · 2025-01-06T09:28:14+00:00

I mean it's pretty trashy of her to have such low morals, she's just asking for a lifelong std 🤮

ahhgodzilla · 2025-01-06T01:28:59+00:00

It takes time, but focus on yourself. Why waste time on discovering what she’s doing? Your son should be the only topic you guys discuss.

Hefty-Arm1667 · 2025-01-06T00:15:21+00:00

My dude, therapy is something I never considered but it has been HUGE in my moving on.

I'm not as far time wise as alot of you I'll admit but EVERYTHING happened so fast. I couldn't find footing for myself mentally or emotionally.

3 monthes later. All we share is our 5yr old and I'm WAY better off. You are too!! Definitely workout like the others are saying!

electromattic · 2025-01-05T20:47:21+00:00

You are a fucking king and you got this. Hit the gym.

(Same boat brother - I'm 12 months out and co-parenting our 6yo girl. I know how you feel.)

CharlesDanceFan · 2025-01-05T20:21:00+00:00

Hit the gym and focus your energies on getting jacked. Get a new wardrobe as well. Take action man.

Who cares if your ex is getting boned off some poly neckbeards. Stop dwelling on something completely out of your control. She’s 18 months gone mate. Get that noise out your head

darealyst · 2025-01-05T17:53:41+00:00

Men who are probably better physically than me.

From what I've seen of the reddit polyamorous community, I sincerely doubt that.

Expert-Raccoon6097 · 2025-01-05T17:48:20+00:00

You join your local gym and get jacked AF. Cures all and gives you a leg up in every part of your life.

Title	How to stop thinking about them?
Author	AskOk6844
Upvotes	18
Comments	23
Date	January 5, 2025 8:31 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1hu1si7/how_to_stop_thinking_about_them/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/how-to-stop-thinking-about-them.1540409 https://theredarchive.com/post/1540409

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