STBX hit me with the news that she wasn’t happy and was done with our 17 year marriage a few weeks ago. Not gonna lie, even though she was treating me like crap on the bottom of her shoe, I wasn’t surprised but it still hurt a ton. Even though things weren’t great, I would have done almost anything to work on our marriage.

We’ve got lawyers and we’re starting to work through the separation, asset division, custody, etc. Going through all that while still living under the same roof with kids sucks hard BUT…

For a while now, I’ve felt miserable at work and unhappy at home. I blamed it on the stress of the job and I blamed it on constantly being so busy with the kids and life, but that wasn’t it at all. As I’m moving on, it’s become very clear to me that my feelings came from being married to a woman who didn’t hear me, didn’t support me, put herself and everyone/everything else before me, and didn’t really care about me as a friend. She did the bare minimum to string me along, and I bought the lie hook, line and sinker.

I’ve taken stock of things as we tend to do when we go through something like this, and I’ve realized I’m blessed with a damn good life. I’ve got a great job that is flexible and pays really well, even if it can be stressful at times. I’ve got the best kids a dad could ask for and a tight relationship with them. I’ve got badass friends who are there for me. I’m in the best shape of my life with good health. I have hobbies that I really enjoy. I’ve traveled the world. For a long time I’ve been misplacing the misery of being with someone who married me for security and used me for 17 years and I’ve been projecting it on everything else so I wouldn’t have to admit that truth to myself. Now that I’m walking out from under that rain cloud of a relationship, my life feels a lot more sunny.

I’m not trying to minimize the pain and hurt of being rejected by the one you would have given everything for, I’m not discounting the financial pounding I’m about to take, and going from a nice house to a rental will be an adjustment, but I’m legitimately excited about a future without that dead weight hanging around my neck!

Anyone else here realize how good they actually have it on the other side of divorce?