Suggestions dealing with hostile ex trying to annoy me with new boyfriend

InspectionOk3946 · 2025-04-13T13:09:33+00:00

I get where other people are coming from about just brushing it off etc and this is broadly good advice.

However, your house is your boundary of which you have total control. It’s well within your rights to say ‘hey pal/buddy/chief/bro you’re not welcome here. Whatever you got going on elsewhere is your business but this is my house and you’re not welcome.’ Don’t argue about it and don’t be baited. Say it 1000 different ways without anger if you have to. End the conversation if you have to.

Again it’s overall good advice here except that who visits your house is 100% your choice. You need a firm unbreakable boundary there.

It’s your choice to extend a hand to this man when you choose at a place you want. Don’t let these other people violate your boundaries and make choices for you and push interactions you didn’t ask for on you. It’s your house! No different than a door to door salesman. This is not about anger and it’s also not some gamey bs to show her how well you can handle it. Pssssh my house no thanks! Bye.

BENJIDOVER79 · 2025-04-11T20:06:14+00:00

Yeah man, this is a manipulation play, plain and simple. She’s not doing this because she’s in love or even proud of the new guy. She’s doing it because you’re not reacting, and that’s eating her up. When someone loses control, they start throwing cheap shots just to see if they still matter.

You already handled the hard part. You got out, you protected your kids, and you kept your head while she burned herself with a criminal record. That’s a win. But now comes the part where you have to manage the post-game. She’s going to keep trying to get a rise out of you, and you can’t give it to her.

Here’s what you do. Document everything. If she brings him around again, take a photo from inside your door with a timestamp, and log what happened. Keep a folder, physical or digital. You don’t need to use it now, but if she ever steps over the line, you’ll be ready. Family court doesn’t care about emotional drama, they care about patterns. If she’s using your kids to get at you, that’s ammunition for the judge to start questioning her stability.

Next, gray rock. Be polite, short, and completely unbothered. No reactions, no sarcasm, just routine drop-offs like you’re clocking in and out of a job. The more boring and unfazed you become, the faster she gets tired of the act.

And lastly, stay clean. Don’t badmouth her to the kids, don’t let mutuals drag you into gossip, and don’t post anything online that can be twisted. She’s probably hoping to provoke you into something she can use against you later. Don’t give her that ammo.

You’re not just protecting yourself, you’re building a case without even stepping into court. Let her unravel herself while you stay calm, sharp, and five steps ahead.

Ok-Cause1108 · 2025-04-11T13:21:35+00:00

If a woman cannot cause you to lose control of your emotions then you have totally disarmed her, unless she can physically overpower you (and if that is your case you have a problem my man).

Keep doing what you are doing as far as not reacting. Also get your behind to the gym and start lifting heavy shit, eating only food that was once alive or grows in the ground and plenty of it, and get 10hrs of sleep per day.

Start to take control of the co-parenting relationship. She will push your boundaries hard in the beginning but she will respect you. Women love to be led. In time she will regain attraction for you and co-parenting with her will be a breeze and she will bend over backwards for you. All you need to do is be more masculine than her and the other guys in her life and she will become putty in your hands. All of your other relationships / career will benefit as well.

Eric_C_Productions · 2025-04-11T05:12:19+00:00

So does it really bother you? Even annoy you? It shouldn't. She is out of your life now. The new bf or guy in her life is doing you the biggest favor in the world. He is taking her off of your hands. He is her problem now. Ignore her. She is just trying to get into you head like a bully. All you have to do is smile and say to yourself, "I am glad I am not you buddy."

Reflog1791 · 2025-04-11T02:23:28+00:00

Ignore him and smile at your children at exchanges.

huggsnkisses · 2025-04-11T02:12:34+00:00

Do a background check on him these single moms will date anyone with a pulse

Also why is she even close to your door. She should be curbside and also record your exchanges.

Bluetoes1 · 2025-04-11T02:07:48+00:00

Be friendly with him. Introduce yourself and shake his hand. Let him be the judge.

Most likely, he won’t like you. But you can always tell him you don’t have a problem with him as long as he treats your kids well.

pmbrenner91 · 2025-04-11T01:50:08+00:00

same, ish

following to see if you get good advice

Title	Suggestions dealing with hostile ex trying to annoy me with new boyfriend
Author	Slowloris81
Upvotes	9
Comments	19
Date	April 11, 2025 1:44 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1jwel9y/suggestions_dealing_with_hostile_ex_trying_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/suggestions-dealing-with-hostile-ex-trying-to.1549204 https://theredarchive.com/post/1549204

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