how do you hold eye contact?

hunterpua · 2025-05-04T16:11:00+00:00

That's fine. You built the habit of avoiding eye contact over years, so it gonna take at least a few weeks to a few months of deliberate effort to become comfortable with a directly opposite habit.

What you're feeling is a natural part of the process of building this new habit. Just keep at it and things will get better.

The only thing that makes you perceive this as worse than other new habits is the fact that you're developing it in front of people. But notice how self-conscious you are? Yeah, everyone feels that way. Everyone cares way more about their own shit than what's going on with others.

Everyone you get awkward around will forget that moment very quickly because they'll be too preoccupied with worrying about themselves.

And that's doubly true for people you've only met once and never see again. Odds are, even if you pass each other on the street next month, you won't even recognise each other, let alone remember any awkward moments.

dravenkaneki · 2025-05-04T15:54:10+00:00

If it’s that bad then you can stare at her eyebrows she probably can’t tell but when you look into someone’s eyes it’s only for a second or two otherwise you’re staring and can be intimidating . Distract yourself with conversation to not be nervous and it’ll start coming naturally.

londongamer1900 · 2025-05-04T18:34:39+00:00

Build up to it.

You can: - Look between the eyes. - Stick a poster in the wall or stare at the mirror and look beyond the eyes. - shift your head slightly (as in move from left or right as if your ear is touching the shoulder see) to relieve the tension of being static

norwegiandoggo · 2025-05-04T15:55:32+00:00

Just do it over and over again until you get used to it.

Foreign-Spring9076 · 2025-05-04T16:08:10+00:00

By looking straight through people

huntingwhale · 2025-05-04T15:58:16+00:00

Look at the tip of their nose. The person you are looking at won't notice, and from their perspective you are looking at them in the eye.

Western-Month-3877 · 2025-05-04T16:09:01+00:00

Firmly.

LoL.

If you’re not used to it ask your friend to have a staring contest with you. If your friend is a girl that’d be ideal.

You don’t have to literally focus on her eyes. You can see the tip of her nose or the point between her eyebrows right above the nose (called glabella or yin tang), the effect would be the same. That’s where the location of the “third eye” is. As a matter of fact, bring up the third eye topic when you talk to a woman. It’s a fascinating story. It will give you an opportunity to touch her nose and forehead, too. Most women love this kinda topic. It’s part of chick cracks.

notsureagainagain · 2025-05-04T15:49:38+00:00

With your eyes?

SithLordJediMaster · 2025-05-04T16:37:40+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRMROyWtDGQ&ab_channel=NetflixK-Content

Affectionate-Ant4888 · 2025-05-04T16:48:21+00:00

here is the practical exercise; go out and and talk to random people look them in the eye and record their eye color in some journal or whatever, start with normal interactions like cashiers and stuff;

epimpstyle · 2025-05-04T18:33:00+00:00

If it is hard for you, don't do it. Nobody says you have to hold eye contact, don’t be a weirdo. Just keep it natural and comfortable for yourself. When you talk to a friend, you don’t stare at them. Likewise, when speaking to a girl, there’s no need to stare; it should be a natural, casual glance.

tonyferguson2021 · 2025-05-04T19:30:29+00:00

Keep your attention on the physical sensations in your body (especially your groin) stay grounded

RealisticDiscipline7 · 2025-05-04T19:50:57+00:00

Since no one else said it yet: most crucial piece feeling comfortable holding eye contact, is feeling comfortable within yourself period.

So inner game stuff like: exercise, meditation and sometimes for me—a good cry (not during the eye contact😅)

But outer game—confronting fear of strangers—helps that inner comfort, so warm up on strangers who you’re totally fine being rejected by, and you’ll feel more confidence for the ladies.

Boobzillagirl · 2025-05-04T20:42:58+00:00

just try it , you’ll get used to it someday hihi

Raisin-vert · 2025-05-04T21:08:29+00:00

Practice practice

TrustTrek · 2025-05-05T01:26:01+00:00

take some booger sugar, don't sleep for 48 hours, and challenge her to an eye staring contest on the bus.

i usually look at her eyes when I start the conversation, and consciously look away when listening/talking. I think it's a balance of not too much eye contact. but if you can tell shes into you, more eye contact i think is ok.

kev1nshmev1n · 2025-05-05T07:11:29+00:00

Just have a normal conversation/interaction, look into her eyes and observe the exact colour and texture of her irises. I think this works because you’re brain is somewhat distracted by objective observing, so it’s not such an intense experience at first. I find this has a borderline hypnotic effect and can lead to an experoence of a momentary trance like state, for the both of you. When it happens be prepared it feels kind of weird. This usely leads to some interesting behaviours. It’s also important to not say anything about the eye contact. If she seems shocked or suprised then back off and just go back to normal interaction. If she’s into it, don’t refer to it in anyway, don’t say something like “you have pretty eyes”etc. Yjust want to leave her with that experience and feeling.

Quit_Later · 2025-05-05T09:56:09+00:00

I’ve always related this to when it’s difficult, imagine that the person is the final boss you have to face in a game 😂 your self-conscious feedback is sub-consciously wanting to be respectful because of assuming she will like you if you give non-rudeness. She on the other hand more times than not wants to see and feel bravery.

Bludditor · 2025-05-05T12:03:17+00:00

i pretend its a staring contest until they break contact first

MacDwest · 2025-05-05T14:24:49+00:00

All these strategies posted about ways to work around actually making eye contact. I say F that, learn to love looking in a women’s eyes and see their soul.

Seriously, find genuine interest in the characteristics of their eyes. Color, shape, eye lash, pupil dilation, etc.

Bonus - as you’re mentally noting these characteristics you will naturally maintain eye contact longer.

Known-Student-381 · 2025-05-06T00:07:38+00:00

Keep practicing, ideally in a customer service environment. If it helps, make the eye-contact first, and then let your gaze wander to their forehead. I make very consistent eye-contact, and usually once I lock eyes, I just stop worrying about where my eyes are. It's definitely less rude than looking at their chest, so...

It might also be good practice just to enjoy looking at their eyes. They're a gorgeous feature. Maybe actively appreciating them will help you get over thinking it's rude to look at them.

TripleDigitNomad · 2025-05-07T10:54:54+00:00

i was raised to believe staring is rude

Time to change that belief. Obviously don't stare like a creep, but give her more time than just a quick glance in order to lock eyes so that interest is displayed. Include a welcoming smile too.

Title	how do you hold eye contact?
Author	xindiote
Upvotes	31
Comments	30
Date	May 4, 2025 3:47 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1kemx9f/how_do_you_hold_eye_contact/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-hold-eye-contact.1551428 https://theredarchive.com/post/1551428

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