Do women actually feel this way about men who've been falsley accused?

wumbo-inator · 2025-05-08T20:59:33+00:00

The few times I’ve been open about how I was falsely accused, the majority of the women became angry with me.

Idk how representative that is of women as a whole, and some individual friends of mine that are women offered sympathy. But considering women as a general demographic support anti-male ideologies that remove accountability from women (feminism) I’m not surprised if most of them get defensive and start to trivialize the issue of false accusations

I think I’ve had more luck with conservative women, but I’m just guessing based off of my anecdote, and I suspect the only reason conservative women care is so they can score points against the left and “own feminist libs.”

VioletteToussaint · 2025-05-09T05:40:07+00:00

I know 2 guys who were falsely accused.

One was 100% innocent, and that was confirmed to me by the alleged victim (she wasn't the accusator, another girl who was jealous because she fancied her was, she probably did this out of spite). He still lost his entire friend group, and I was given a lot of shit for refusing to join the braying crowd and ostracise him. In fact, I was so disgusted with the group that I left altogether.
One was not 100% innocent because he cheated on his fiancée, lying to the other girls about the state of his relationship. However, the accusator, his fiancée, then proceeded to spread absolute shit about everyone involved, including the deceived girls. They were all accused of violence, rape, even completely nonsensical stuff like STI that made no medical sense whatsoever. Here again, the crowd believed her, not even bothering to check the facts or even think about the contradictions or utter nonsense in her accusations. Eventually, when those accused started defending themselves and lawyered up, she realised that she was about to lose big time, and stopped. Too late, the harm was done. The accused were relentlessly bullied, harassed, threatened and excluded. No apologies were given when the truth came out.

Being someone usually pretty solitary, these 2 stories shook me and disgusted me so much that I lost my usual candour. I cannot fathom why someone would make such false accusations, but I know for a fact that some people will, without any scruples. It's even more disgusting because it taints genuine accusations with suspicion.

Heavy_Consequence441 · 2025-05-08T21:21:49+00:00

Lol women don't give 2 fucks about our problems but expect us to start simping when they conjure up some SA fiction

Clan-Destin · 2025-05-08T21:28:58+00:00

I had two trashy stories, one with an ex who accused me of violence and of whom I was wrongly accused at high speed and one with a woman with whom nothing ever happened (erotomania) to whom I came close to conviction (if she had not "attacked" the cops naked and harassing them every day with new accusations it could have passed even though this woman knew nothing about me)

In both cases, every time I wanted to talk about it on the networks and in life I was accused at one time or another of lying or of not telling everything

So concerning myself I would say that yes, that's unfortunately it, it's not everyone but it's common

Having participated in mixed meetings that addressed the subject the general opinion was that it was much more difficult for a man to make himself heard and become a target than women or children.

AigisxLabrys · 2025-05-08T23:39:17+00:00

Basically. They are indoctrinated to believe that women can never victimize men.

Smeg-life · 2025-05-08T22:29:03+00:00

The advice I received was to simply say,

'Serious allegations were made, which I successfully defended against'

My advice is always to limit your social media exposure.

Eastern_Awareness216 · 2025-05-09T05:27:41+00:00

Women (and society) say "Believe all women."

The quiet part that no one will add is " . . . even when they lie and some women do lie."

If this sounds extreme, consider the case of Daniel Pierson who sat in jail for over a month because of "false allegations" (lies told) by a woman he had NEVER EVEN MET! Ultimately, his accuser, Angela Urumova, did jail time over the incident.

Here's the reporting of Daniel Pierson being "falsely accused" (lied on) :

https://youtu.be/WsPTBk69qe8?si=fEv_Ni9JSXVEc0cG

Here's the final story of accuser Angela Urumova being sentenced to jail time for the "false accusation" (lie she told):

https://nypost.com/2025/04/03/us-news/pennsylvania-woman-anjela-borisova-urumova-who-wrongfully-accused-stranger-of-rape-and-kidnapping-sentenced-to-jail/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=nypost

When a man can go to jail because of "false allegations" (lies told) by a woman he has NEVER EVEN MET then no man is safe from a woman's lies.

With regards to the question of TRUST, I would suggest proceeding with caution when it comes to trusting women.

2025-05-08T20:20:19+00:00

That’s probably how most of them feel given the way the media makes them think. As for who you can trust? Anyone who’s been called a “misogynist” will be more trustworthy than any feminist or feminist sympathizer

Cearball · 2025-05-08T21:03:47+00:00

Post this in askfeminists for their answers

2025-05-08T21:26:48+00:00

many women have a very detrimental habit of extrapolating their individual perspectives onto the collective. them denying false allegations isn’t the same as seeing a case and evaluating it for the sake of a truthful conclusion, the thought process is this:

“well i’m a woman and i have never falsely accused a man and would never (in this moment, entirely subject to change as it’s built off emotional intuitions and not moral principles) even consider doing so, so i literally cannot FATHOM another woman intentionally doing something so malicious. what i have experienced tho (given that i date men and not women or have heard second hand accounts from women in my life or even the cultural zeitgeist), is men being malicious. given that i can relate to experiencing malicious men and not malicious women (in the context of heteronormativity), it makes more sense to me that any accusations made are likely true bc women (mirrors that i view myself thru and not agents of free will) would never intentionally lie abt something thats so harmful and personal to women’s lived experiences (fear of sexual assault)”

i can’t remember the philosopher but i’m certain you can find the quote if you look for it- but there’s a quote abt how what most ppl believe are arguments abt philosophy are actually just arguments abt language, aka talking last each other by making the false assumption that your interlocutor is thinking or using words in the way you interpret them based on how you yourself speak. that’s where the disconnect comes from with these types of women on instagram (that women on reddit outright deny exist when you bring up these trends), like you are attempting to understand the deductive reasonings of thoughts that were not formed for the sake of positing logical truths. it’s just a covert way of controlling narratives by making statements you know women WANT to be agreeable, which is that many of them themselves would never make false accusations, so there’s no reason to believe men know what they’re talking abt when talking abt said false accusations.

2025-05-09T05:27:21+00:00

Yes they do.

Traditional-Ad-9611 · 2025-05-09T18:20:23+00:00

I’ve been falsely accused and after I moved schools, outside of my family I told literally no one for years until a year into my relationship with my now fiancé I finally told her because I knew I should tell her everything even the things I thought she would hate about me I was expecting the reaction from the video but instead she looked at me with concern pulled me close and told me that I will never have to be alone while going through anything again and that I was safe and in that moment I broke down crying feeling like I was finally safe enough to let my feelings from years of holding in my pain out and that was when I decided she was the one, that she was there for me since then I have been much more open with my past

The most surprising part is that she was someone that her ex (a man) abused in the past and has a violent father, and she spent some time thinking that all men were awful and even being a radical feminist, but she told me once she escaped from all that she realized that there are good men out there as well and she told me since meeting me she has also realized that men struggle from stuff too

KarateInAPool · 2025-05-08T21:46:17+00:00

I’m living proof that being gay is not a choice. 😑

Witoldski · 2025-05-09T23:16:22+00:00

I have given up on the hope that women will truly understand the pain brought on by any of the sufferings we men go through which destroy us. This is why I think a lot of men don't share their feelings with women. They suspect that the response would be such that those men would feel it's better if they hadn't shared. Call me what you want but I think men and women should really separate. Let women do their thing and build their own society. Let us men do our thing and build our own society. Atleast we will get some of our male spaces back. How can I build a life with someone who doesn't even have the capacity to understand my pain but can expect me to understand her pain? I really don't see any point why I should marry or build a relationship with a woman. It's like I will be laboring away till my death for an idea of a woman in my head rather than who the woman really is. I guess once you see women for who they are (and not who they present themselves as), it's difficult to unsee. And that's so hurtful because it takes away the biological purpose we men gear ourselves for. Sometimes I wish I was gay and I felt attraction to other men but am stuck with my sexual orientation. I never wanted to think this way but I can't unsee what I have seen.

Adventurous_Design73 · 2025-05-10T11:06:22+00:00

You'll have some people say it's only "5 women" blinding themselves on posts with thousands of likes and comments. Yes a lot of women think this way it's real.

MassiveMike82 · 2025-05-10T23:19:13+00:00

I didn’t even sleep with the girl who accused me. I still worry one day there will Be a knock at the door and she is the only person I genuinely have hate in my soul for.

Thankfully she never went to the police but I was publicly bashed for something that never happened.

pearl_harbour1941 · 2025-05-12T18:27:46+00:00

Shallow dive into female psychology 101:

Women support other women 4.5x more often than men support other men.

I was falsely accused of domestic violence by my wife when I was divorcing her. Her statement to the police clearly showed she was lying, and I was not charged. She has never recounted, to this day.

When I moved away and told the story to my sister of all people, my sister said "well, you must have done something for her to do that!?" No, I didn't. She was mentally ill (confirmed later) and was as angry as a cut snake that I was divorcing her.

My SISTER took her side.

I have had girlfriends since who "wanted to get my ex's side of the story" before believing me. I dropped them right there and then.

And lest we forget, women instantly lose attraction for a man that shows any kind of weakness, even (and possibly especially) if that weakness is him having been a victim previously.

erik_reeds · 2025-05-08T22:06:51+00:00

if someone brought up that they were falsely accused on like the second date i would probably think it's unusual and that they're not being entirely truthful, but i wouldn't necessarily think they're lying about it. would just rub me weird personally. but after i feel more comfortable with the person, i think it would be easier to empathize with them.

Away_Entrance1185 · 2025-05-12T23:05:58+00:00

I was falsely accused by my ex-wife, two weeks ago I actually talked about it with my girlfriend, she immediately took my side and called my ex unreasonable and encouraged me to fight for custody. I would say that I'm very lucky with my girlfriend... But my ex-wife was also amazing and supportive during the first half decade of our marriage. She was an amazing wife... Until she wasn't.

Before I had my current girlfriend I was dating a woman who herself was claiming that she falsely accused of abusing her husband (going through a divorce), I quickly learned that his allegations weren't false. So, while I can say that I am lucky with my current girlfriend, I can't say that a dose of caution isn't necessary, especially since you don't always know the other side of the story.

name-_less · 2025-05-13T21:20:08+00:00

Being falsely accused is obviously a horrible experience, however sometimes the statement can be used to perpetuate that a woman is lying about being graped when in reality she wasn’t lying.

False accusations don’t just make men’s lives harder but also women who are actual victims on grape. It creates this stigma that most women lie about their experiences, making the act of reporting grape ever harder.

When the accusation of falsely accusing is thrown around whenever a women reports an assault on them, obviously they are going to start to get upset at the statement.

Not saying that it doesn’t exist, but actual victims of grape and assault exist and the statement of falsely accusing sometimes isn’t being used in the right situations.

TheBlxd3 · 2025-05-10T04:49:08+00:00

There seems to be a trend associated with political affiliation. False accusations have flipped my world into a living nightmare. I think your question if women feel a certain way in a women’s subreddit. However, being reddit, your post would be downvoted to hell.

Lets_Remain_Logical · 2025-05-11T11:12:58+00:00

Yeah. The in-group bias is off the charts! Believe all women is a huge advantage to have, and how to keep it? By denying any narrative that puts hole in the concept, but like any biased view, one needs to rationalize it.

For example, some will be angry because they "empathize with the victims". (the fallacy here would be: false assuming that women = victim). Putting that in question would be breaking the victim narrative you are living on, it will trigger you and you will get defensive and less logical.

You know, sometimes, it seems to me that there is a group of women who all decided to gas light all men, and as long as they are clinging to the same version, they won't concede.

Makes me think of many of my past relationships!

Simplement_thrown · 2025-05-12T17:21:32+00:00

They do not and from what I've seen they think you probably did something to deserve it. So your guilty anyways.

You have groups like AWDTSG that basically promote and encourage this behavior and culture.

ariestae · 2025-05-08T21:09:20+00:00

Time does not transform a lie into truth. I believe that you should listen carefully to anyone who says they are a victim. Then we have to investigate. Is it true? As a friend we should support our friends going through an ordeal. False allegations of SA in not romantic So why bring it up at that point in time? Something is off.

nebulousrealist · 2025-05-09T08:42:10+00:00

I think it's one of those situations where it's so rare that someone says 'yeah I did (insert thing)' that when anyone states they were set up, it naturally arouses suspicision because you then don't know who has harmed someone and who is being harmed.

I feel its harmful to take the approach that all people are lying about it, but I can see why it feels safer to assume everyone's a risk - and why it feels too vulnerable to believe everyone who says they're falsely accused. Especially for people who know both parties.

In my humble opinion, everything is a shit show and everyone wants a group of people to blame instead of taking a case-by-case approach to look at that human in context.

E.g I had a friend (male) call me up in tears because a girl he was dating had accused him of rape.

I asked him to walk me through what had happened and it honestly sounded like she had had a flashback when he'd leant over her for a kiss. He lost everything and to essentially create a new life elsewhere. I believed he hadn't done it, but it didn't mean much when it came to the impact and consequences of it.

But in this scenario, it wasn't like either party was being malicious. It was a really sad situation that past traumas were triggered and became a reality.

There's just so much nuance that I struggle to phathom how anyone can believe any one reason/outcome for anything

sumfacilispuella · 2025-05-11T04:23:52+00:00

i will start by saying that obviously false accusations are bad and there should be legal ramifications for making one. i just think that there are currently a lot of disconnects between men and women. first of all, there are people who say that if a woman reports rape or SA, and it cant be proven, then thats a false report and she should be in trouble. while thats not true, i have seen it repeated online many times. this, combined with that fact that the vast, vast majority of these cases go completely unpunished, even sometimes if the perp has pled guilty, they wont even get jail time, i think makes some women think that if they cant be the 2% of women who managed to actually get justice, then they will be at risk for being in trouble for making a false accusation. also it probably makes them think that a false accusation cant be THAT bad because actual accusations so often have absolutely no effect on the guilty party.

one other thing is that there are 2 groups of people (at least) who will say they are being falsely accused. people who are falsely accused, and people who have actually committed these crimes. enough women have been thru rape and SA that im sure many have reported it to either the cops or people in their community only to have the person who raped them swear up and down that they did nothing, are being falsely accused, and are in fact themselves the victims.

now, obviously, being traumatized bc of shit you have been thru does not justify treating actual innocent men like shit or not giving a shit about actually falsely accused people (nevermind the fact that every false accusation makes real accusations even less likely to be taken seriously) but understanding why people do things can sometimes help to get them to stop doing it or understand why its wrong to do so.

ariestae · 2025-05-08T21:19:56+00:00

Some men are falsely accused. It does happen. It is a catastrophe. For sure. But I have to say that I have fallen very hard at least twice for people that I would have cut off my hand that " they did not do it. They could not have possibly done it, no, it's not possible" and in the end. I was wrong, they did it. They were sentenced there was more then one victim etc. etc. etc. This Instagram post is not about the men victims of false accusation but the vultures hiding behind the true victims.

ariestae · 2025-05-08T20:52:13+00:00

If a man was falsely accused I do not see him starting this kind of conversation IN BED. I think this is where the problem lies.

Annika_Desai · 2025-05-09T08:47:57+00:00

How would you feel if someone is in your home and they said "I've been falsely accused of stealing from people's/someone's home.... 😑 Like, we wouldn't say 100% they're guilty, but we'd be more careful about our things, especially if we dont know them very well.

It's just human nature, safeguarding. Someone saying I was robbed/SA'd doesn't hold the same risks but they could be lying to illicit sympathy to lower your guard. Context matters as well as how well we know the person.

Like, in the example, seems the man in the bed isn't very well known to the woman so a) why is he there in the first place, b) why is he oversharing with someone he hardly knows something so visceral, & c) why in bed? Terrible timing. The entire scenario sounds ridiculous. Like the man/bear thing, hypothetical scenarios create extreme reactions. In reality, things are far more complex and nuanced so it's best to not run with things people say online. Also remember, the more visceral and extreme people are the only ones talking, they dont show the people who dont agree bc social media is designed to rage bait.

ariestae · 2025-05-08T20:34:18+00:00

False allegations are rare.

Title	Do women actually feel this way about men who've been falsley accused?
Author	TheBlxd3
Upvotes	258
Comments	96
Date	May 8, 2025 6:21 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1khx86g/do_women_actually_feel_this_way_about_men_whove/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/do-women-actually-feel-this-way-about-men-whove.1551820 https://theredarchive.com/post/1551820

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