How should I view past sexual encounters that only happened because I was drunk?

Wife_and_Mama · 2025-05-10T22:10:37+00:00

Of course they count. Do you have to discuss them? No. Will that be a dealbreaker for some men? Sure. We all have our dealbreakers. Go find one of the many, many men out there who won't want the details.

lasagna_manana · 2025-05-12T00:17:48+00:00

Hey I just wanted to say I am in the same boat, was sexually promiscuous in college 18-21 and much of it was due to drinking and struggling to stop myself from overdoing it. I’m 25 now, almost 26, and for several years after repentance and celibacy, have often struggled with shame and regret from those choices. At the end of the day, I can’t take any of it back - of course it counts. I would encourage you to approach relationships with honesty regardless of your religious views.

Any man interested in marriage with us must know the truth and make an informed decision on whether he wants to continue the relationship and if it will be an issue for him down the line. It certainly wouldn’t be fair to hide that from him, and you’d struggle anyway knowing the weight of the secrets you hold from him. I’m not saying every man would be fine with it - many, probably most, are not - but ultimately you’d be able to live with yourself knowing that not only have you changed, but you are honest about past mistakes and that just speaks to the true change you’ve made.

At least that’s how I look at it. The past is the past and I cannot go back to change anything, no matter how much I wish I could. I can only control the choices I make today and tomorrow, and they will be better ones. Whatever consequences come from past choices are what they are. Wishing you all the best!

_Pumpkin_Muffin · 2025-05-11T06:59:03+00:00

Is it a case of "I willingly got drunk knowing that I am more promiscuous when I drink, and the lack of inhibitions led me to have sex" or "I was too passed out and someone took advantage of me when I couldn't say no"?

In the second case, it was obviously not your choice to have sex. (Though getting drunk again and again knowing that people are going to rape you again and again is... a habit one should try to break away from?)

In the first case, it was your choice to have sex. Of course it "counts". I've never had a man ask me for my number though, it seems more a Reddit thing. They either don't care about it, or don't care to know. Don't make it about some potential man you might date. Just own your choices, as you were responsible for them, and move on.

LexiFromWestchester · 2025-05-10T20:15:33+00:00

Many of us have such a past; ages 18 - 22 can be such a transitional and explorative time. Take accountability for it, be grateful it didn't lead to more dire consequences, then stash it away. I know I was a lot more promiscuous with OS than PIV and struggled with adding all those encounters on my body count. But the important thing is knowing who you are now and being honest with yourself on who you were. Time to move onward, but don't bring along any guilt /shame from that period.

RedPillDad · 2025-05-10T22:42:46+00:00

It's not the drunken hookups, it's the person you become. A lot of peer pressure in college to get drunk and do stupid stuff. Some people are completely changed by those experiences and live for doing more drunken stupid stuff.

You've learned from it and cleaned up your act. Wholesome versus debaucherous. That's the person you are.

Ok-Elk-1316 · 2025-05-12T21:16:48+00:00

well are you referring to encounters that would be considered rape, or just drunk sex because I don’t think you should lie if it’s the latter, but obviously sexual assault shouldn’t count as a body

blondehairedangel · 2025-05-10T20:39:58+00:00

View it as mistake that you're allowed to move on from and won't do anymore. Create boundaries for yourself to avoid this situation again. 🫶🏼

Worth_Elephant_6128 · 2025-05-10T21:04:50+00:00

Don't worry about it. I think your honesty is great. Be honest with others and yourself. Learn and move on. We all have a past.

serene_brutality · 2025-05-11T00:47:40+00:00

You can’t change the past, and it is what it is, you have to take your lumps and keep going. All you can do now is your best. Be the best person and partner you can be, do lots of self reflection and healing. Sadly you may never be done paying for your past mistakes and that’s life, you just need to find a way to make peace with it.

You don’t have to share your past but never lie about it as if it ever comes out you will break the trust of the relationship you are in or trying to form. Distance yourself from it, be better, don’t make the same mistakes, have realistic standards and hope for the best, that’s all you can do.

AutoModerator · 2025-05-10T20:05:56+00:00

Title: How should I view past sexual encounters that only happened because I was drunk?

Author SweetSummerGirly

Full text: Hi ladies,

I’m trying to reconcile how to view my past in a way that’s honest but also fair to who I’ve become.

In college, I struggled with drinking and made choices I wouldn’t have made sober—specifically, sexual encounters that happened only because I was very intoxicated. At the time, I didn’t have the clarity or self-respect I do now, and the broader conversation around consent and assault wasn’t what it is today.

I don’t want to frame everything around “body count,” because I know it’s not the full picture of who I am. But I also recognize that, like it or not, it does matter in traditional dating spaces—especially if I want to be transparent with a future husband.

So my question is: Do these kinds of encounters “count,” in your view? And if I’m asked about my past, do I include those experiences in what I share, even though they weren’t things I would have consented to sober?

I’m not looking to justify or hide anything—I just want to be honest while also being fair to myself. I’d love to hear how others in this community have thought through similar situations.

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TheBunk_TB · 2025-05-14T21:10:52+00:00

Bad decision making counts

kfdeep95 · 2025-05-17T01:15:15+00:00

You count them and be honest or you do “girl body count math” and risk slipping on that slope

spliffzs · 2025-05-10T23:42:15+00:00

They count, but you simply don’t have to tell anyone about them. You learned, you grew and you changed!

moonchildcountrygirl · 2025-05-11T18:24:48+00:00

Idk why anyone discusses body count openly with their partner. Be on the same page with values and attitudes towards sex, why get into the nitty gritty of stupid bullshit from being a teenager

OkKaleidoscope9696 · 2025-05-10T20:32:45+00:00

Forget about body count. I’d also say they barely counted if you were drunk. Once you’ve been away from that lifestyle for a while, your mind resets and it’s a very distant part of your past. Body count is a much more complex topic than it’s usually treated.

Don’t worry - forgive yourself - don’t be ashamed - move forward

ClarityByHilarity · 2025-05-12T12:45:56+00:00

Never, ever, give a body count or discuss that.

Title	How should I view past sexual encounters that only happened because I was drunk?
Author	SweetSummerGirly
Upvotes	10
Comments	47
Date	May 10, 2025 8:05 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1kjj1wh/how_should_i_view_past_sexual_encounters_that/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-should-i-view-past-sexual-encounters-that-only.1551834 https://theredarchive.com/post/1551834

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