What to do with shy girls who don’t talk back much?

hunterpua · 2025-05-22T13:31:16+00:00

As someone who has a friend who used to be a dick to women like that, literally telling them to their face that they don't know how to have conversations and then walking away, I've figured out how to deal with them.

It helps to look at your conversational questions like requests.

Some questions are smaller requests, some are bigger requests.

So for example, "Do you like Italian food?" is a much smaller 'request' than "What is your all time favourite food?"

With shy girls, it usually helps to start smaller.

It helps them baby step their way into opening up and build momentum.

Making bigger requests early on can overwhelm them, especially if they're really attracted to you, because that will also mean they're really intimidated by you, the same way guys would be intimidated by a smoking hot girl.

Another thing that I've found helpful to make your 'requests' smaller is multiple choice.

When you ask a question and she hardly opens up, you can just list down a few things for her to choose and that usually helps them open up more.

Like with the favourite food example, if they struggle to answer that question you can just list down cuisines like, "Japanese? Chinese? Mexican? French? Italian? Indian?"

I actually had a satisfying moment with that friend I mentioned in the beginning, because we happened to be in a bookstore together and a shy looking girl caught my eye.

I approached her and used all this stuff to get her opening up and got her number.

Turns out my friend was listening to us from behind the bookshelf me and the girl were standing next to.

He asked me afterwards, "How did you get her opening up like that??"

I was like, "That's what happens when you don't just bail and blame it on the girl when it gets challenging."

I taught him afterwards too but yeah, I had to call him out.

Hot-Watercress-6694 · 2025-05-22T14:00:56+00:00

I broke up with a girl because of it. It was like going out with a brick wall. She wouldn’t say much when we were out but she would text like crazy as long as I kept the conversation going. Plus she had no sense of humor. It was going no where.

Lacunaethra · 2025-05-22T13:25:11+00:00

For actual shy girls: try to make her talk about things she's interested in. Ask specific questions regarding her emotions. A simple: "I'm nervous - how about you?" paired with a smile can work wonders.

For girls who claim to be shy and just don't want to carry the burden of a conversation: do something else when the conversational flow is fading. When you come back, act like nothing has happened and be as talkative and energetic as always. Repeat, if necessary.

For both: Leave for good if it doesn't get better, otherwise you'll feel like pulling teeth.

HistorianOk2573 · 2025-05-22T16:14:03+00:00

They feel shy adn not very talkative because they don't feel like opeing up, and that happens when they don't feel like they relate to you or like you would understand where they are coming from. People naturally feel like sharing who they are when they feel free to express themselves as they are without fear of judgment and when the other person validates their feelings or relates to them. Then it feels fresh, like you don't have to keep your guard up around that person who seems to have similar mindset as you.

If she’s quiet and guarded:

- “You seem like someone who doesn’t open up to just anyone. I respect that. I’m the same. I’d rather take my time than fake some surface-level vibe.”

Now u’re validating her without asking her to change. youre subtly bonding over emotional boundaries and that builds rapport faster than a dozen fun facts ever could.

Another example:

- “You feel like someone who observes a lot more than they talk. I can tell there’s a lot going on in there.”

Now she’s no longer just the shy girl. She becomes the deep thinker. You just gave her identity the space to breathe.

That’s how you flip the script. You’re not chasing her energy. You’re naming it, respecting it, and meeting her where she is. That is what makes her feel safe enough to share more

So always remember what is it that makes someone opens up?

Recognition: "Oh, this person gets me."
Freedom: "I don’t have to filter myself around them."
Validation: "They don’t make me feel weird or wrong for feeling what I feel."
Relatability: "They’ve been through some of the same shit I have."
Shared language: Similar humor, energy, values.

Instead of:

- “So what do you do for fun?”

Try:

- “I’ve been on this weird kick lately of just doing things that feel like they unplug me from the world. No productivity, no agenda. Just freedom. You ever feel like you need to disconnect from the chaos too?”

This way u made her feel understood before she even answers.

Oliverqueen627 · 2025-05-22T14:10:28+00:00

Just read the title - find non shy girls invest time and energy in them. See what suits you, I like bold and ambitious girls.

gim_san · 2025-05-22T22:37:49+00:00

I did go out couple of times with a girl that was shy. They'd still make some effort. Sometimes after carrying the conversation I'd stay silent too, whenever the silence was getting too prolonged they'd try to stay something to keep the conversation going

Khower · 2025-05-22T22:40:42+00:00

Walk away because I only date fun people.

norwegiandoggo · 2025-05-22T13:05:29+00:00

Yeah i agree with the other commenter: ask if she's nervous.

SithLordJediMaster · 2025-05-22T13:26:21+00:00

Tell her all about your life stories and jokes at the Pet Shop that she works at.

Her brother forces her to go out with you.

Take her to an ice skating rink.

Tell her all about why you want to Box.

Afterwards, take her into your apartment.

Go the distance with Boxing champ Apollo Creed proving to yourself that you're not some random bum off the streets.

" Rocky is a love story disguised as a Boxing movie." - Sylvester Stallone

ThreeOneThirdMan · 2025-05-22T13:13:09+00:00

Tell her to smile, they love that

/s

Mouthfu · 2025-05-22T13:48:33+00:00

If it’s the first one you need to figure out if you just make them nervous and too flustered,, or if she’s just boring. I would say you can tell by if she has this nonchalant mess about her where she might think her looks can carry the whole convo. Edit: or just ask

I think it depends on your goals. Intentionally trying to date? Just trying to have sex?

In either case you should give her atleast 2 chances at warming up to you, she may have baddd anxiety.

Just trying to fuck? If she’s nervous and flustered because of you, if you play into it while making her feel calm she’s all yours. In my experience they are very eager to have you they just don’t know how to play it cool or at all.

Regardless after 2 meets and no clear sign of either path. Just stop talking to her.

Kylearean · 2025-05-22T15:30:23+00:00

It could be a few things: interview mode leads to shitty conversations

e.g., https://www.youtube.com/shorts/1CLGpc8TM7w

Either_Sundae6099 · 2025-05-22T15:42:08+00:00

Find a girl that actually ticks your boxes, instead of trying to turn a girl into something she isn't.

ThatDarnSmell · 2025-05-22T18:40:31+00:00

You don't have an obligation to force conversation on anyone. Move on and find someone who is a more even match with your energy.

ow3ntrillson · 2025-05-22T18:48:21+00:00

Guys can’t do much about situations like this imo. 1 option I discovered when I encountered girls like this was to just accommodate her nature like crazy. As you can guess the problem is that without proper reciprocation you get exhausted and wonder if she’s really into you or just in it for the ride.

I wish I could say that women are usually like this in the beginning of relationships and eventually open up but I don’t think that’s the case most of the time. Take this as a learning opportunity to not necessarily avoid shy girls - often they are really nice ladies, just undeniably boring - but approach seduction & relationships with them differently.

barrett_86 · 2025-05-22T20:26:09+00:00

The worst place you could be at is when you find yourself pushy/prying if the other person won’t make an effort at the conversation. Instant ick. All girls are shy but you wouldn’t want someone who lives inside her head way too much. Leave, go after the ones that match your energy and reciprocate. And this doesn’t at all mean you need bold outspoken girls.

PeterLamb87 · 2025-05-27T08:34:24+00:00

You can know if a girl is shy from the get go, so the not interested in you is kind of easy to figure out. If the chick is shy, then the burden of the conversation falls entirely on you. Try to keep dates or approaches shorter, escalate with caution (but do escalate), and be extremely mindful of body language.

saryiahan · 2025-05-22T13:04:03+00:00

Ask her if she is nervous. If she replies yes then ask how you can help make her comfortable and be more open with you. If she says no then move on

KoleSekor · 2025-05-22T13:30:48+00:00

Be curious about her interests, passions, or career until you uncover that topic that she knows a lot about.

Max-Rockatasky · 2025-05-23T15:42:43+00:00

These chicks don’t talk because they’re (consciously or not) being a POS. Sitting on their moral high horses and expecting you to put in all of the effort in communicating with them. Then, when she throws you away like a crumpled candy wrapper and you’re wondering what all that effort meant, she’ll say, “I never asked you to do any of that!”

Title	What to do with shy girls who don’t talk back much?
Author	Cheap_Photograph_261
Upvotes	83
Comments	39
Date	May 22, 2025 12:49 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1kspv6x/what_to_do_with_shy_girls_who_dont_talk_back_much/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-to-do-with-shy-girls-who-dont-talk-back-much.1552830 https://theredarchive.com/post/1552830

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